Friday, April 30, 2004

Well well well.

So while at work this evening I was talking to a distrubutor of this new fancy product and he wants me to be given "power" power as in being able to really do a lot of the nitty gritty work on our side with his accounts etc.

Now on the one hand I'm thinking. YEAH YEAH YEAH!! Cause well that'd be like project management of sorts. I'm also thinking there is potential for fallout. I'm not sure why.

Anyway. I was talking to my co-worker and friend Renee and I told her that if I could make up a position for myself it'd be something along the lines of being the technical liason/trainer for all agents resellers and distrubutors.

I think that would kick ass.

Here's what I'm thinking I'd like to a nutshell.

  • Be the person who after the agent gets signed up to train them on technical aspects. How to use the websites, how to admin their accounts, how to create trouble tickets, what sort of issues are technical and what sort are most likely account issues.
  • Then if it is a new product be the person to write up and train the department I'm working in now on it. How to test it who to call when shit goes wrong with it etc.
  • Be the contact for tech issues so agents etc aren't constantly calling the department I work in.
  • Be the person who if the customers will be calling regular customer service be the person to give training to that department as well.
  • Be the all round go between.

Now I bet it'd be a bit stressful but I love doing that sort of thing. I like researching and creating solutions. I like diving nose first into things and chewing on them until I find a problem. I wouldn't mind testing the shit out of new products.

But I think that may be a pipe dream.

I don't think I've got the anything within this company to actually land something like that or talk someone into it.

I'm not sure.

I know it's not good form to be so wibbly about ones job but I am. I can't really help myself. I think it's these years of working graveyard shift and the culture of the company I work at currently. Who knows.

Or maybe I'm just a big ole pussy.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Well well well. The website is coming along nicely. I've managed to create an archive here so my blog isn't as big as all outdoors.

I've been feeling strange the past few weeks. Almost as if I'm sitting stillish and not realizing it.

But I'm not. In fact things are moving along rather nicely. I budgeted out enough money so I can start doing Pilates. Fuck the doctors I feel like shit and out of shape and I'm going to fucking work out if I want to.

And I decided that I do like my hair after all. I'll like it even more after i get it all nice and relaxed.

That's about it from this corner of the world. I had myself a wee rant typed up but fuck it. I'm in a decent mood why spoil it?

Thursday, April 15, 2004

On the one hand, you're ready to transform yourself beyond recognition. On the other hand, you still want friends, clients and random admirers to know you by face and name so that you won't have to start all over again. It's a puzzle at first, but you have time to work it out. Before long, you'll experience the double benefits of comfortable familiarity and new beginnings. Artists could be looking at a career breakthrough. Scientists and adventurers make the greatest discovery in the known universe. Maybe you don't claim to be any of these things, but the good news still applies.

Interesting horoscope.

It is a very me horoscope though. That craving for complete change. The deeply seated urge to do the Pheonix thing and rise out of my own ashes more fabulous and brilliant than before.

However honestly it's very difficult to do such a thing when your head hurts so bad you think it's going to blow up. As in KABOOOOM!!!! No more head.



I wrote up a little something for work here that I'm actually very proud of. I've been working on it for the past week and ahalf or so and it came out concise and to the point. And hopefully very helpful. If so I will be writing up similar things for customer service as well. And one in general for my own department.

I am a big believer that having something written down to reference is very handy. What I don't like are huge clunky documents that take you forty minutes just to get to the one thing you need. I like quick and efficient documentation for things.

In other news the migraine. This one seems to have a peronality all it's own. It's own fucking stratosphere. It's HUGE and menacing. And wrapped so tight around my head I caught myself wondering earlier how much it'd hurt to slam my foot in a door to distract myself.

Years ago I had my septum pierced. A very painful piercing. It came to be because of a migraine like this one. I'd had it for days and days. None of the usual round of drugs was working and I was one step away from heading to the ER for a shot of muscle relaxer in the neck or a sledgehammer to the forehead when my roomy at the time asked if I wanted to go with him to get his ear jewelry changed.

I agreed. I like tattoo and piercing shops. I usually like the people and am always curious as to what's new and painful. So as I was sitting there bullshitting away with the dreadlocked piercer he kept looking at my nose. Now that sort of thing might lead a person to believe they have a boogy.

But no boogy. in fact he walked over to nudge my nose with a fingertip and said, "a septum piercing would look so cool on you. You've got a good nose for it. Want one?"

Now to that point that was a piercing I'd never considered. At the time I had two in my belly button, a bunch in my ears. And a lone cartiledge piercing in my left ear. I asked if it hurt a lot. He said yes. I plunked down the money for the jewelry (he did it on his own dime) and laid in the chair.

As he was getting the needle ready and everything I told him about my headache and jokingly said something about wanting some pain induced euphoria. He told me I'd probably get it. And that he was terribly sorry about my head. Seems his girlfriend suffered migraines as well and usually was confined to bed.

The needle was fucking huge. I mean big. And he led me through some breathing I had a big fucking needle in my nose and it hurt like a son of a bitch. It hurt so bad I had to take a few minutes before he put the jewelry in. My belly button had hurt a little but nothing like that. I thought he was going to rip off my nose. The whole lower half of my face throbbed in shock then that subsided.

When he got the jewelry in (a modest little ring. Not too big) I stood in front of the mirror a bit woozily and smiled. It was pretty. I liked it.

After that my roomy and I wandered into a cafe and sat to bullshit with some other kids. After an hour or so I piped up mid-convo, "HOLY SHIT MY HEAD DOESN'T HURT ANYMORE." In fact it didn't. I felt like I'd gotten myself a shot of something good.

That was a beautiful thing. The endorphins kicked in and I was flying high. Felt good.

Now the next day my nose hurt and was oozy but I didn't mind. I felt so much better. I sent the piercer a card in fact.

So yeah. If I had money odds are I'd be staying up to get something pierced tattooed or otherwise maimed not only for aesthetics but for some pain rerouting.

In yet other news the website is almost done. One more page to code. Couple to remove from navigation and NUDEMUSE is good to go.

Enough. I'm tired and it's almost time to go home. Why don't I post this bitch.

Saturday, April 10, 2004

So in the news in Shannon's world. Not so much. I did however do something wonderful. I cut off and dyed my hair purple.


I was feeing a terrible sort of need to do it. I can't really afford to do anything else really. The wardrobe continues to suffer. I don't have the money to join the gym. So there you have it. My jones for change satisfied by Manic Panic Plum hair dye.

It's funny it looks different shades of purple in different lights.


I hate it when shit is being crappy at work right near the end of my shift. Ugh.

Anyway. As I was saying.

My jones for change. I've been that way a good part of my life. Sometimes it's a small thing. I change my nail polish and bam instant feel betterness. But this time it took something drastic.

I've heard people say that you store a lot of energy in your hair. Well I know I store alot of issues in it. Ask almost any blackwoman about her hair and you'll get a story of some sort.

Well the short version of mine is that in the past few years after trying my damndest to take damn good care of it, take my vitamins etc. It was not growing. Sure it thickened back up after some of it fell out. (Birth control SNAFU) But what I wanted was length and it wasn't happening.

Then I came to a crossroads. I did not have the money to go get braids or extensions. My forays into trying to figure out how to do it myself were frustrating and made me cry. I was wearing wigs but was tired of doing that every day. So what to do?

Yes you got it. Hack it all off.

Now it's not extreme short. No I didn't run out and get a fade. But because my hair is what it is, I'm not entirely thrilled with it. I love the color but my styling options are rather limited given my hair texture thickness etc. So I slick it back much as I can. Live with the sight pouf of it on the back of my fucking head.

Sometimes it still makes me want to cry. And then I feel stupid. I can't help but feel like an idiot when the state of my hair makes me want to cry.

maybe it's not stupid but it sure as hell feels that way.

So yeah. Not entirely happy but better.

I still have that tickle for change though. And as for now I'm not going to be able to do anything about it. Except maybe paint my nails. Finish up my website even though as the days pass I am starting to think it's lame.

I'm thinking maybe I should remove most of everything about me and focus on other things. Art I love. Magazines (print and online) that I like. Shit like that.

I dunno. Maybe I'm just having another one of those moments I tend to have when things aren't exactly going my way and I decide that everything is turning to shit.

I don't know.

When I figure it out I'll throw a fucking party.

Friday, April 02, 2004


I feel like refried shit yet again. I'm so tired I want to kill someone/something. Seriously. And listening to Janis Joplin and Metallica isn't making me feel better.

So um..grr or some fucking thing.


And naturally I totally forgot what I was going to say. I feel CRAPPY!!!

Although I can say yay I'm actually going to sleep today. Whoohaaa I got me all in check.

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