Friday, February 10, 2006

I believe I've found the outer edges of my endurance. My fury might not have any bounds but it sure does run out of gas.

We're moving tonight/tomorrow. Not the big stuff for several reasons. A.)too tired B.) can't afford a truck even if we were rested C.)yeah just not going to happen.
So probably after we get somewhat rested we'll arrange to get the big stuff moved hopefully with help.

I am so tired my eyeballs feel like I've dredged them in sawdust and popped them back into my skull.

Not to mention the magic combination of not sleeping, stress, more stress, work, crackheads, stress rinse repeat ad nauseam has me feeling alternately like I will beat someone with a stick, laugh until I piss myself or just sit catatonic.

My donuts are a little stale and it made my eyes tear up a little.

I need a bum rub, bath, whiskey, bum rub, nap. Rinse repeat for about three weeks.
Followed by a massage (because at some point while I was napping in the last month someone has replaced my trusty vertebrae in my neck with rebar), facial, spa mani-pedi and a new dress. And new shoes.

I want to feel cute. For at least five minutes because I'm looking pretty crappy right now.
While I'm being honest I will say that my legs are hairy and my skin is dry and itchy.
Yes...I am still fuzzy legged.

And if you're squirming and ew'ing to yourself get over it. Nothin wrong with a lil fur.
Along the lines of talking about fur I saw a photo of this model who I am still not sure I find hot or not and she's got her pubes all shaved off. Now we all know at this point that's not my favorite thing. But because of the way she is shaped and how thin she is she looks a little too young for me to be even contemplating violating her in any enjoyable way.

So I have decided that I am now firmly anti-no pubes. I like pubes. Bring em back.
Not necessarily some giant 70's era porno bush. I realize that logistically for some of us that's just uncomfortable. I mean really who the hell wants to have the jungle of no return when it's hot out? I can be realistic.

Leave a little somethin somethin. Back away from the wax and pick up some clippers. Want a little crotch area fade? Right on. Inverted V? Landing strip? Undercarriage stripped clean but some fuzz up front? Good. Actually I find that last one very sexy. Although a little fuzz makes it perfect.

Okay how the fuck did I go from I'm tired woe is me to discoursing on pubic hair yet again?

What can I say I like pussy.

Where was I? I got distracted.

Uh..already talked about being tired, pubes, pussy oh okay moving on.

There are few people who turn me on like Diamanda Galas. Aside from her amazing voice there is something about her that makes me alternately want to lick her from ankle to neck and cower in her presence while she sings and probably does something painful to me.

Certain people evoke certain responses in me. For instance, everytime I see Bjork I want to spank her. My friend Cookie? I want to spank her just to see her absolutely flawless creamy pale skin get all pink and stripey.

We all know that some boys on sight make me want to bend them over and fuck them til they bark. Or maybe beat on them a little, beat on them then they blow me and call me Sir. I've been over this.

Follow along folks.

Other people it's entirely different. Everytime I see Tom Cruise I want to hit him. Hard. In the
face. Preferably until he cries.

I don't know why I don't know the dude it's a visceral type thing.

There are many people on the Teevee whom on sight I just want to slap around a little.

Yes...my secret is out I'm a little bit of a sadist.

And I'm kind of queer.
(Understatement ya think?)

If you are still reading bravo. Be aware I'm typing in order to keep myself awake in the final fifteen minutes of my shift.

And I should stop so I can get things all ready and be out the door and wha tnot.

Probably won't hear from me for a few days. I might try to weasel out of working on Monday if at all possible because I need to get some fucking rest.

And um...yeah.

This is where you imagine me swaggering off (I'm feeling very butch today) with my "get out of the way before I hurt you" walk. THen feel free to picture me buggering (insert someone here) or tendering plumbing the dewy depths of (insert other person here). And then...just cause I'm generous go have a wank and a nap.

Homo Out.
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