Friday, March 10, 2006

Back to square 1

I really hate being the person people know who can't have anything go right. There's always some drama or another.

It's embarassing.

But with the demise of DX I don't really feel like using an LJ or somesuch for the purpose of venting. So yeah here it is.

So after this whole debacle I am pretty much back to square 1. All of the plans I had for catching up financially, getting into a more manageable schedule of paying bills. Birthday celebrating, getting our things out of storage etc. All of it.

Just so there's a running tally I'm going to make a list here (and so i don't forget I suppose) of what was supposed to have happened.

  • Both storages paid
  • Burly/muscley boys paid to help bring our stuff up all those stairs.
  • Enough groceries to last two weeks.
  • Fancy Pizza
  • Phone bill paid
  • Chinese food/drinks for my birthday
  • New clothes (that I wouldn't turn right around and resell. Same with my books)
  • Get more tea.
  • Cold meds (For Mike originally, now I need more)
  • Maybe a night out.

As of right all that's getting done from that list is the storage in MI (With the price yanked up about 60 dollars because it'll be late.)

There's money for groceries but not anything particularly good. Any birthday celebration is cancelled. Luckily I was outbid on two of the things on Ebay I'd wanted. And I will probably be outbid on the other thing I really wanted. Or I will resell it after I get it.

I'm going to be sleeping on the floor for another month I think. Maybe we can find somone to drive us up to storage to get at least some more clothing, pillows, better blankets. I'd wanted to go out but that isn't going to happen.

And next check is going to be thin as hell. After rent and MI storage there'll not be much left over for anything. Middle check I'll have to pay phonebill, local storage, at some point I need to buy a new cell phone because the one I have really sucks. Groceries etc.

Rinse repeat.

I will not have good tea. I will not have smell goods for the bath or otherwise. (Not that i really need any of these things but, yeah whatever.)

The situation isn't dire anymore. (Unles you count me being sick at work with no cold medications no money no tea no nothing)

But this really sucks.

To be very honest I don't enjoy life anymore. What few joys I have had seem like they were a long way off and in another time space area or something.

Every day I wake up I don't feel good. In fact I feel like shit. All the way around. I get up, I drag on my clothes I get on the bus I come to work, I get back on the bus, go home, eat a little something, try to sleep.

I survive. As I've told Boyvenus many times and other people. It's what I do.

Am I happy?

No.

Is happiness on the horizon?

No.

What I have to "look forward" to is more work. Find more work. That's the only thing I think about anymore. I troll want ads looking for ~something~. I don't want to end up almost on the street again. I have debts. I have bills.

I think I'm done with this now. I'm exhausted and freezing. I'm going to go try and scrounge something hot to drink from the breakroom.

Homo Out


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2 comments:

Crazy Bike Guy said...

I'm going to send you some happiness. Somehow, some way. I can't stand to see you like this, and that's not a request to shut up, because I know this is how things are even if you don't say anything. You know I know, too, so no copouts.

But I'll make sure. Maybe buy you gift certificates so you can't short-change yourself and buy other stuff. :) Bath & Body Works? Maybe a grocery store? Name the stores you'd shop at for food and nice smelling things and suchlike.

Lady Katitcha said...

Shannon, at least your husband of almost five years just didn't walk out with no explanation. Yep, you heard me. Seth left. He is coming back after I am gone. Talk about no happiness chikita. I have none. No job, no life, no money, and my father is coming to take me home.

Fed up Out

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