Friday, April 28, 2006

Murder and Madness

Not actually but it's a nice title no?

I have SUCH a fucking girl crush and no I'm not telling who has been added to the list.

All I'm gonna say is, packing cocky mean mother fucker.


And why is it that I go trolling in the auctions and find two things I like and can afford? Not to mention there is a shitload of stuff on sale at various places that I can't afford and most of the sales are ending Monday.


I am having boot/shoe/clothing lust like hell.

But I did bid 3 dollars on a cute plaid mini skirt.

This weekend I intend to try and finish the ponyfalls I started. I'm moving to graveyard shift on Monday for a little while so I need to adjust my schedule.

I am also thinking about hand sewing some projects. Given that I won't have my computer for a bit it might keep me from getting quite so stabby and cranky over the weekend.

I am going to see Boy Venus this summer and that's very exciting. And um. Yeah I have to pee now so I'm done.

Homo Out.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Violent disposition

Mike and I were talking post porno fuckin(as in..we fucked like porn stars.).

Okay wait before I delve into what I was going to talk about let me share something. Feel free to skip this part if you don't want to read about my sex life.

So in case you're new to my blog let me catch you up. My one balled wonder whom I alternately refer to as Frank, Byootiful, or by his actual name Mike, and I have damn good sex. Porn star fuckin. In fact if I didn't have a job we'd probably screw upwards of 5 times a day. This is a man who every time we have sex never fails to make me come multiple times and usually there's a squirt or two in there.

He understands my credo:
"Fuck me like you mean it or put your pants back on."

That goes for my male and female partners. I have never been one for (for lack of a better term) softcore sex. I don't mind some making out smoochy smoochy, have a little grab assy but when it comes down to getting down. I want to get down. So yeah.

In case I haven't made it clear before this, my baby gets it done. And gets it done right.

Okay now back to what I was going to talk about. I forget now how it came about but-

three hours later.

Hello mood swing.

So anyway.


I think I'm done. And I should really stop eating so much motherfucking candy I'm twitching like a crackhead.

Homo Out.


Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Butch...booby like whoa.

Okay so I just found an amazing hair artist who if I can manage to get my finances in order I'd love to get braids or dreads from. My ability to braid still sucks so I'm going to have to find someone to do it for me.

I think I should've gotten myself one of those creepy plastic practice heads at the discount store when they had them. Mike will only sit still for so much I think. I suppose I could return to practicing with yarn the way I was before. I had actually gotten to the point of being able to do a few yarn braids.

Really it would be the most cost effective thing if I could just learn to do this shit myself. Here I have all these ideas for crazy things to do with my hair but since I can't do them myself and it's expensive to get your hair done. There ya go.

Hrm what else?

Mood is still pretty fucked but, a lot of that has to do with my stupid teeth. Between my teeth and my desperate need for new glasses I'm really a cranky little bastard. Not being able to see properly and having my teeth ache and feel crappy makes me want to stab someone in the neck.

Why is it the ONE goddamn day I really want to watch hip hop videos on launch the shit ain't workin?

The fuck is going on here.

I say fuck a lot.

So I have a streaming station going instead. I'm not really in the mood for streaming ubergoth radio right now. I'm too cranky to want to dance.

I'm just cranky and mean.

I should try and talk about something that makes me less cranky. Hrm?

AH yeah I got hit on by a very cute butch today. I really had to repress the serious urge to run my fingers through her brush cut until they felt tingly. I doubt she'd have minded but still it's not polite to be whorish in public.

She said I looked like I needed a hug and I nodded. She didn't hug me but she did give me a nice little arm rub oops I touched your booby and liked it sort of pat. Nice to get hit on when you feel like run over ass.

Feelin fugly is a motherfucker.

Love poetry for Busty Rusty

My favorite DMX lyric EVAR:
So whatever it is you puffin on that got you think that you Superman I got the Kryptonite, should I smack him with my dick and the mic?

Homo Out.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Quietly nuts

So I'm having issues at present and quite honestly I don't feel like going into it. So I'm going to be fluffy.

With the coming of warmer weather I am in search of new powder for my face. I've been using Covergirl Freshlook pressed powder for coverage then later on a dusting of CornSilk Shineless Classic Translucent Loose Powder. The latter is great stuff but, no coverage.

My skin has improved enough that I feel mostly comfortable wearing just powder and no foundation but I do like a little coverage to keep me more even. Okay this is about three hours later and my woman Cookie almost made me cry. She bought me some fancy powder on Ebay.

So with that in mind I think my next big purchase as far as self care goes will be one of those fancy Neutrogena Advanced Solutions At Home MicroDermabrasion System. I have been on a quest these past few years now that my skin has cleared up to get rid of some of the discoloration I have from previous breakouts.

I've been using a specially for black women formulated product from Walgreen's but it doesn't quite have the effect I want. It has made a big difference as far as smoothness but not so much for the discoloration. And I'm hesitatant to use any type of fade gels or creams because I don't want my skin to burn or get too light.

I just spent forty minutes on Amazon because they sell bath goods and food now. And I find it a little weird.

The have a whole shaving and hair removal section. I just find it strange. In a disconcerting kind of um...ew kind of way and now I've forgotten what else I was going to say.

So yeah.

I think tonight I'm going to give myself a facial mask and maybe touch up my eyebrows. And I am going to have a long hot bath, then slather myself in shea butter until my ass glistens then I'm going to sleep.

That's the plan Frank.

I think I'm done.

I promise I'll post the paen to non-monster sized cock at some point.

Homo out.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

And thennn?

I haven't updated for a few days mainly because I was recovering so to speak from my hormone induced tantrum. I am a mood swinging angry little woman and for a while there I was stuck in stabby rather than being at a place where I could turn the stabby into something more constructive.
I'm getting there.

This past weekend I started a new ponyfall project. Only to discover I neglected to buy any lace or ribbon for mounting. But I will be excited to wear these pigtails mostly because they are kinda ghetto looking (black with bright orangy red tips). They are very cute.

I also wrote a letter of annoyance to Maybelline New York. I was perusing their website and (again) was really pissed off to find that the core of their products do not come in colors for people other than slightly tan white people. I have been a pretty faithful Maybelline New York customer for a long time. I have used their liquid eyeliner and their mascaras above all others for the better part of ten years. So given the leaps and bounds by mid-level cosmetics companies in expanding and diversifying their lines Maybelline seems to be lacking to me and I told them so. Here is their reponse.

Thank you for contacting Maybelline New York on the Web to let us know how you feel about Maybelline.The opinions of our consumers are important to us when making decisions about our products and services. We appreciate your comments, and will be forwarding them to the people in our company responsible for that product group.Again, thank you for your comments. If we can ever be of service to you, please feel free to visit us again on the Web.

Fuck them. I am no longer going to be a customer for them. It's not a huge difference but I will take my business elsewhere.

In the grand scheme of things I don't know how much of a difference it makes but it does make me feel good. There were actually two years that I didn't shop at a drug store near where I work because despite numerous complaints, letters, etc they did not carry products I could buy but, they felt free to feature the ads from the likes of CoverGirl with Queen Latifa, Revlon with Halle Berry but didn't carry the products. I wrote a six page letter to their corporate offices citing several of their chain stores and point blank called them racists.

A few weeks later I got a letter of apology and a buttload of coupons.

It's not quite activism but, I refuse to be silent about things that piss me off.

And I try hard not to be petty about it. Yes I realize that in the big picture me finding the right shade of foundation isn't Earth shaking but goddamn it black girls want to be pretty without having to spend an arm and a leg buying Iman cosmetics.

What else?

I trimmed my pubes the other day because I had some labia minora anger going on and the fur wasn't helping. I accidentally yanked out one of the lovely pure white hairs and my GOD that shit hurt. It reminded me in a visceral and very real way just why I don't wax. Fuck sake. Kinky as I am I find no enjoyment in yanking out my precious short n curlies with anything.
Teeth, tweezers, wax, fingernails nothin.

I miss my little bit of fluff. I can see my bald spot and it annoys me. Yes, I have a bald spot on my pubis a little smaller than an oblong quarter. It's sad. I also have bald spots on my legs too. I can go for about 8 months without shaving and still all I have is a fine bit of fuzz.

Oh. Speaking of pubes, and the super V there, I have a whole rant about not being a size queen. (That's penis size folks. Keep up here.) I think I will get it down and post it a little later on tonight. It will be my paen to boys without the monster cock.

What else?

Actually I think that's it for now. My Gelatina Mexicana is staring at me me eat me eat me and I think I'll go do that now.

Homo Out

And...a little love poetry for Busty Rusty..I hope you guys feel better soon.

First off, fuck your bitch
And the click you claim
West side when we ride
Come equipped with game

A little Tupac to soothe a fevered brain.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Moody cranky little beasty.

So my mood is marginally better today save for the banging headache currently eating away at my skull.

I ranted about Camille Paglia in my LJ (the link at the right that says writing talk). I decided not to read any more of her writing ever again.

I have moved from depressed about things to being really cranky. I'm hoping that it's just PMS and have put extra tampons in my purse for just in case. My menstrual cycle does whatever it goddamn well pleases.

The financial fuckery continues.


It occurs to me that I'm not really in the mood to share the angst today so screw it.

Homo Out.

Monday, April 10, 2006


OMFG. I just sat here and squealed-


Like a 3 year old on Easter Morning all hopped up on cream eggs and candy.

I just stumbled on a page about Giant Bunnies and almost had a fucking heart attack. I like bunnies. And whenever I see them I squeal (quietly to myself if need be) BUNNY BUNNY BUNNY!

Don't ask why I don't know. I can't help myself.

I can't have a bunny but it's a nice thought.

As you can see I've changed this to a more suitable color pallete of purples. Purple is my favorite color so there you go.

Oi I have had way too much green tea today and I need to stop.

I am boring. My biggest excitement this weekend was getting a Mexican pastry.

It's really frustrating to be having these wants and cravings that I just cannot satisfy right now because of just how precarious my life is financially. But, I really don't want to talk about that honestly.

Actually why not. I'm already fairly depressed today so yeah.

First off taxes. I have not done my taxes yet because I am going to owe Uncle Sam more money. And I don't have it right now. I'd much rather get my electric bill paid and make sure we have food enough to last rather than that.

The fact of the matter is that I live as someone economically marginal.

My Byootiful has had health problems and I know part of that has been our shitty diet. I feel amazingly guilty that I am not able to provide enough for us to eat healthily. Nor can i afford even some homeopathic remedies for what ails us. Someitmes I can't afford simple OTC pain reliever.

I feel guilty because we had to live in a shitty neighborhood where crackheads banged on our door nightly between 1-6 in the morning. My already prone to being a little anxious man was made more so.

These reasons and more are the reasons I push so hard. All I really want at this point in life is to have some peace. I don't want a trip to the grocery store to be potentially something that costs us for two weeks. I want to be able to if I would like to go out for a nice dinner without planning three paychecks ahead.

I want to start a 401k and not suffer for it. I thought about starting one recently but I just can't afford it.

That's the running theme in my life.

I just can't afford it.

The latest casuality is new glasses. I just can't bring myself to pay the 20$ copay for the visit. I'm afraid that the frames will run over what I'm covered for and i won't be able to afford it. So I'm not going.

I think that's all this is fucking shit. Go from Squee to whining in .02 seconds.

Homo Out;.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Glittery poop

I actually just threatened to shit glitter on someone.

I am an odd girl.

My right boob is also itching like a motherfucker and it's bothering me enough to want to take the bra off and set it on fire.

I have decided that myspace is an amusing evil.

In other news I believe I have discovered the root (pun intended) of my frequent rants about pubic hair.

So it all started when I was 8-9 years old or so and saw grown women naked fairly regularly. My Mom, ladies at the pool, etc. Now by that age I knew all about puberty and whatnot but, what I didn't yet grasp was they why isn't it happening now part. They had boobies, I had no boobies and even more angst making was that they had pubes and I didn't.

My annoyance about it was pretty much a low simmer. I realized that I was still a little girl, and my friends were little girls so there wasn't too much of a problem. Then around the fifth grade my friends started getting boobies. And much to my dismay and jealousy PUBES.

I found this out because we went to a camp when I was in the fifth grade and we took group showers to conserve hot water. Now I remember very cleary that most of the girls I showered with and the older girls who were our leaders had pubes to varying degrees.

My own mons veneris was bald.

I was crushed. I remember going home and getting so upset. I cried in the bathtub after examining my genitals as much as I could because I had no fur. My parts were not growing up and I was pissed off.

Later when I did finally grow me some pubes I was disappointed yet again. I did not have the full fluffy bush I had wanted. I had sparse short and curlies. Even through my teens and up until now I don't have much in the way of the pubies.

So onto my thing with other peoples pubes. Do what you like with them really. But when it comes to me desiring people when they have the super shaved and or waxed parts I am not turned on. In fact it can be quite a turn off for me.

Basically in my mind super smooth and hairless means little kid. And yeah no.

I won't say there aren't exceptions to my squick factor. But, it's few and far between. So mow them pubes, mohawk, fuzzy up front smooth underneath, flying V whatever. But please folks, enjoy your all growed up all done with puberty body cause there's nothin wrong with some fur.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Alive she cried

I am mostly amused today. Rent is paid. Other bills will be paid tomorrow.

I am wearing the ponyfall I ordered while I was on vacation. I wasn't sure how much I'd like it because it's black and a dark golden brownish blond but it looks nice. The color opens and warms my color up.

I have a pet peeve I have to get out.

It's about "writers" not writers. There is sarcasm there. We all know some of these people.

These "writers" will go on and on about the muse, and writers block, and how much they just LOVE to write but never do they actually write anything. And they usually think they are absolutely amazing or they pull the "oh this sucks and I suck and you'll all hate it but read it anyway" sort of thing.

Then there's the attitude. We all know someone guilty of this. These "writers" will post something and ask for feedback. But then you give them an honest critique, some hints, maybe point out issues with things like readability, style, usage, etc. You know the sort of thing you want to hear when you're a writer so you become better at it. And they go bitchnuts.

They say you're the moron because you can't see and understand and worship the genius that is them.


Ok I feel better now just had to let that out.

In other news I started reading a book about the West Memphis 3 that I am finding to be one of the most appalling things I've ever read. More about that later.

And I actually think that's it for now. I have things on my mind. No news about any of my subs, I'm editing some old porno. And...I don't mean to sound queer or nothin but I think unicorns kickass.

Homo Out.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Cranky little fucker

Even though I slept last night I am still exhausted. Brain no wanna worky and this not having music shit is annoying me. Let me explain. Someone working here instead of just using the computer with the good speakers for music, brilliantly decided to just move the speakers to a different computer. They weren't placed correctly and now I have no music. I've been trying to enable the monitor speakers but I can't get that to work either.
It's annoying.

In other news I apparantly made some kind of booboo in my accounting this week and I am overdrawn by 7 dollars. What joy.

I am about to have a motherfucking fit. My coffee tastes bad and the baked treat I got I think made my tummy upset.

I believe today is a good day for a tantrum.

While I'm in full whine mode let me continue.

For whatever reason my fucking Google Adsense up there is absolutely fucking useless. Either I am SO fucking random Google can't keep up with me or I broke. The way things are going right now I'm inclined to say i fucking broke it.

I need a new bra in a real bad kinda OW my TITTY kind of way. I hate that.

And I woke up late today so I'm wearing pants I hate. They fit funny so I feel all paunchy and shit.

If I were a cat I'd be hissing, clawing the carpet and peeing on the furniture.

I am not a happy beasty.

I think I'm done whining.

Now some musing.

I was cruising Ebay not too long ago and how is it some of these pretensious goth fucks decide that it's cool for them to sell things like boots and whatnot in the Ebay store for thirty to forty bucks than you can get the same shoes (with cheaper shipping often) from any number of the Goffick shops round online.

The fuck kind of silly shit is that?


How annoying.

I de-lurked sort of in some Goth groups on the Google. Ballots for the next one are already going out. I'm kind of torn between wanting it to be here in Seattle again ( had a blast at the last one) and kind of wanting to go if it's in Portland. If it was in Portland we could hang out with Renee and Rob which would be cool. I miss my friend Renee.

My hard on for collecting purses to go with my boots is returning en force.

I am entirely enamored by these body bag shaped handbags I've seen around. Far more than I was of the coffin shaped bags when those started popping up. And of course I can't find a link so I'll have to steal a picture at some point.

I am SUCH a fag. When I say that I mean think of the most flamboyant queen you know, put some big tits on him and you have me.

Then put the image in shiny/floofy/odd clothing and BAM you got me.

I think that's it. My computer is slow and I believe it's going to want a reboot here soon.

Some love poetry for Busty Rusty:

"Fuck your bitch and the click you claim."


Homo Out.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Spam and the fuck are you looking at punk.

So much spam so little time. For some reason my webmail for my domain is getting spammed to shit. That makes me a sad cranky little beasty.

I had a pretty good weekend. Lots of sex. It's a wonder what repeated gspot orgasms can do for your state of mind.

However my Monday has not gotten off to a good start. Primarly because apparently baseball season has started and I got caught on the bus in fucking Mariners traffic. So in the future when games start at 2 I'm going to have to leave for work an hour early so I'm not late.

What joy.

Also since they recarpted here at work within 2 hours of being here my contacts feel like I dredged them in sand and shoved them back onto my eyeballs. My vision is actually pretty blurry and the drops only help to a point. So in honor of that I talked to HR and she told me how to look up our vision benefits. Hot damn. I only have to pay a 20$ copay for the exam and then I'm covered up to 120$ on hardware and then 20% off anything over that. So in reality I should be able to afford some glasses next paycheck.

Slowly but surely we're coming out of the abyss of the move. A little over two thousand dollars later things are still pretty tenuous but we're not planning trips to the food bank again. Partly thank you to a very nice lady and partly because I have been budgeting my ass off.

So according to budget this week (weds probably) I am ordering the bag below. Finally found a new purse I need one. And then after bills and whatnot I am going to bite the bullet rent a truck and go get our stuff. So next month since we won't be having the 92 dollar a month bill for storage I think I am going to set up DSL should our phone line work right.

I'm going to start budgeting to get my fitness stuff in order because this not exercising is driving me insane. And the one drawback to moving off of Bainbridge is that I don't get in my 2.5 or so miles of walking a day. To that end I've been on the hunt for a sports bra. Unfortuntately because I'm fucking stacked I think I'm going to have to go to a sports store and try them on etc and pay out the nose for a good one because I don't want to give myself a black eye or stretch the girls out irrevocably.

I've been thinking very long and hard about what kind of workouts will do me the most good without me a.) going overboard or b.)going way overboard. I've settled in a mix of yoga and pilates then when I can budget it (or we get DSL and Mike can download it for me) some belly dance and once I'm in better shape maybe some of those striptease things. My computer has a DVD player and where I'm going to put my desk there's plenty o room for me to wiggle and sweat.

The biggest hurdle is going to be getting into a routine. I think if I can manage to be up around a quarter after 10 I can get in about 30-40 minutes of exercise then have enough time to destink/comb hair before going to work.

So with that in mind and the hope that I will either reshape myself or lose weight I'm going to hold off on any extensive clothes buying until a later date.

So yeah I'm budgeted to within an inch of my paychecks life.

To ease some of that Mike and I have been looking at started an adult site of somesort. We've been doing some research and I think we'll start with something freehosted and do a shitload of affiliate pimping. Then maybe if money is decent enough get a site of our own. Not a boot fetish tease site just yet. I have neither the boot wardrobe nor the equipment required for that sort of thing. Hell at some point I might just do it for fun cause 1.) I have a boot fetish and 2.) I have a boot fetish.

Still no word on the submissions sent off last month. Uh.


I've had the hankering to go out clubbing at the Vogue or try to start going to the Mercury but, given that we don't have a car and I have issues in the wardrobe department I'm living vicariously.

It's really fucking disappointing to have the want and need to be a little social but not the ability.

Oh well.

Not going to go there at the moment.

I think that's enough of my babbling.

Homo Out.

Subscribe To My Podcast