Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Jackassery and laughter.

So last night Mike and I were watching the pre-Jackass/CKY bunch of boys from Finland called The Dudesons. What strikes me about The Dudesons, Jackass, CKY all those boys is the joy they have doing such idiotic things on film. How many people can say that they laugh that much doing their jobs?

I wish I could.

In other news I have new fiction out, my zombie humour story Puppy. Find it at Gothic Revue. Enjoy.

What else?

Myspace still hates me.

I'm feeling a little better these days. It seems like a slow process. I'm realizing as I get older I'm not quite as able to keep my temper at bay to get shit done. It's amazing what a little a lot of anger can do. But I'm dealing.

Part of my problem right now is that because of my current financial situation I'm not going to be able to do things I want to do to change things. It feels like trying to grab a jar on a high shelf with greasy fingers. I can feel it just inside the pad of my fingers but when I try to take it, it slips away.

One of the things that's not really helping my state of mind is the persistant knowledge that I am not nurturing and engaging my creativity in a way that is enjoyable, challenging and introduces growth into my life. It's frustrating.

What else?

How about lets talk about degrees of fatness, clothes and shitty attitudes? Yeah I knew you wanted to.

I am a big girl. Plus sized. If anyone says zaftig I will shit in your computer. But yes I am no thin woman. For the past few months I've been trying to involve myself in some online "size positive" "body acceptane" type communities and honestly aside from the shopping links. (Even though 90% of the time I can't afford anything that's shown) I am really about done.

I get so tired of the dicksizing. "My truama and hurt is bigger than yours" type thing.

I was going to post some of the look book I put together but I'm tired and can't get into my ftp to find the addresses of the photos.

Fuck sake.

I'm tired. Not been sleeping well at all.

I'm almost ready to go to the doc for crazy pills or sleepers or fuck at this point I'd take a tranq shot in the ass to get two days in a row of restful sleep.

Homo Out.
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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you! I'm a fat bitch myself & am now giving up on trying to be less. I'm just gonna blame my pills & go eat a bagel...lol!
-Miss Paige

Miss Paige said...

Sorry, but this is the only way to get you a message...Did I see that you're back in Burien? If so...what are you doing Saturday night? My choir has a concert in Burien on Sat.9-9 (you don't want to attend this one, trust me), but I thought maybe you'd want to get a drink or something after? Email me cpaige824@yahoo.com if you can. If you're able to hook up, but can't message me for some reason...meet me @ St. Francis on 152nd & 20th around 10pm. I think we're done singing between 10p & 10:30p. I love you & I hope you get this before tomorrow!!!
-Miss Paige

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