Friday, October 27, 2006

Budgetary Fuckery

All right. I have discovered that in addition to a pair of new pants I am in serious need of a new pair of sneakers.

I haven't bought a new pair in years.

And HOLY SHIT I found the ones I want for a little over 30$ including shipping.

Black and purple (of course) platform sneakers that I have been lusting after for quite a long time.

Anyhow. Back to pants.

Instead of buying fitted pants I am going to find myself some cheapish yoga type pants or pull on boot cut pants of some sort. most likely this will involve Kmart and/or Target.

With that taken care of I'm budgeting for glasses too. Hopefully even with my crap ass 120 coverage on hardware I'll be able to afford glasses I don't hate since I will have to wear them for a minimum of a year.

Given that glasses are more expensive they will take a bit longer to get. Unfortunately.

Hopefully after Halloween auction sales will pick up some. That would be really fabulous.

I'd really like to plan a vacation of some sort but I'm not sure when/if I can afford it.

I think I might try for the round the birthday vacation again and barring illness go to the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival events. Save up over the winter and buy myself some fabulous fetish wear to work.

What I wouldn't give for the ability to have some frivoloty. Not to feel like a bum because most of my clothing is outdated ill fitting and not to my liking.

I'm a little depressed today. So I think that's all.

Homo Out.


Okay so I get the Torrid newsletter today and start looking.

Goddamn their clothes are SO fucking expensive.


And of course they put out things I absolutly LOVE. But I cannot bring myself to pay 54 fucking dollars for a goddamn acrylic sweater.

Mother fuckers.

I fucking hate being poor.

I hate it.

I hate not being able to when I want to get myself something nice without three months of planning.

I hate not being able to just go out for a fucking drink when/if I feel like it.

I hate it.

I hate that I work my ass off just to tread fucking water.

Goddamn it.

Is it TOO much to fucking want out of life just to feel comfortable. And maybe on occasion feel pretty and/or fabulous?


I feel a little better.

Homo Out.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Wotan in the hizzouse.

I've been dreaming about Odin lately.

Also of his cohorts Huginn and Muninn.

Mainly in the why aren't you fucking listening to me ya wee twat? Kind of way. So yeah. Not much to say about that for now aside from, goddamn you One Eyed Old Goat fine.

In other news I bid on two tops on Ebay. One is this hot boobs black top with long split sleeves and a shiny thing on the front. The other is very elegant with a draped neckline and three quarter sleeves. I better fucking win them or I will stab someone in the eye.

However my stabbiness is again mitigated today by the tastiness of houjicha tea. A japanese roasted tea that is one of my winter favorites.

FYI I really don't like the shirt I have on today it makes me have uniboob. Not cute.

Miles Davis and spicy peas to snack on are a wonderful thing.

I had some other stuff to say but frankly I'm not in the mood. Maybe some link salad of an adult nature later on.

Homo Out for now.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Working it out.

Given that's it's getting cold out I'm saying goodbye to my floaty skirts and things. I am also realizing yet again just how much I hates HATES my feet being cold and sweaty.

Anyhow. My Beauty Blog. She is growing YAY. If you have links send them my way.

HOLY SHIT! I just checked my paypal and Safeway let their authoriztion expire without charging me so I have enough money for PANTS!

Okay so here is the saga of the new pants.

I purchased a pair of hot ass bondage pants on Ebay thinking (for once I'm sad I'm not as big as I thought I was) that htey would fit. Now let me tell you gentle reader, I have been absolutely desperate for pants. So much so that I contemplated giving it up and just going to buy another pair of jeans.

And I am really not feeling jeans right now.

So I find these pants and sweat over winning the auction for five days. I don't generally bid on things early in the auction but I wanted them SO bad. I get them last friday, shuck off my fuzzy yoga pants and....they are WAY too big.

Too big as in I didn't have to zipper/button them to pull them on and off. I was so upset. And they are too long which isn't as much of a problem but still.

So I made a post to a fashion community I belong to on the LJ. Hopefully someone will pick them up easy like that so I don't have to auction them.

So I am sad that the super cute pants do not fit however, since Safeway fucked themselves out of 17 dollars the hunt begins again. And if I can swing it I'm going to search for a new hoody too.

That said tonight I really need to retake my measurements so there are no more such pants issues.

I am also investing in a new supplement. In a month or so look to my beauty blog for that.

I actually slept last night, slept well in fact and an hour longer than I usually do. That by itself makes up for a lot of daily bullshit. I also had myself a good walk before work and I have gummy bears and genmaicha. In all I'd say my day is not too bad.

More later maybe right now I must make big water.

Homo Out.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Beaty Bloggy

Look up above there, that link is my brand spanking new beauty blog that I've been babbling about.

So far only a couple of entries but, book mark it. There's going to be reviews, essays, how tos, how to do it on the cheap. And my advice/experiences are for everyone.

Go and enjoy.

I am going to go take a bath and scrub my face.

Goodnight Frank.

Homo Out.

Friday, October 20, 2006

What HELL?!

I'm working on my first beauty blog entry but I had to say this.

What the FUCK is wrong with people tonight?

No seriously.

One fist fight on the bus.

One creepy looking dude with a jheri curl gone WAY bad mean mugging me.

Hot girl in dreads and glasses in cammo tights lookin sexay.

Me getting squashed by giant stinky man.


Hot girl is okay. But the rest?

Again, for the record.




Okay I'm off.

I think I might try to get my high heeled bitch boots broke in. Good idea self.

New Blog will be linked tomorrow.

Homo Out.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Stabby and otherwise

So I'm still playing with wordpress. I'm looking for a template that I can kind of make look like this one. Having a time with that.

And yes, in case you gentle reader are wondering am I still bleeding?

Actually yes I am.

In more interesting news, I found my favorite tea at the discount grocery store. Genmaicha (green tea with toasted brown rice if you haven't been playing along).

Let's talk about shoes for a moment shall we?

I am ( ) that close to putting in an order for my first gothic lolita skirt and I am considering shoes. I have maryjanes to wear with it that would be cute but, I think I need to find something a tad bit stompier. STOMPY!

I also need some new tights. More stripey tights and of course my oft mentioned long socks. Cause its fucking cold and I don't want a draft up the ass.

I've been back and forth with myself on this skirt thing and I figure I might as well either put the look together or let it go.

I've been doing more auction vulturing but I'm having the hardest time finding shirts I actually like and it's depressing.

I bought some KK hair and have been practicing the braiding a bit. I think if I take a four day weekend I could probably do my whole head. Just have to practice. Practice FUCK...note to self get small elastics for braid out. DURR.

I still have SUCH a hardon to give myself synth dreads. That's what the braiding business is mostly about. I wants them.

Right now.

And I'm spent actually. I have more to talk about but right now I am going to indulge in some junky food.

Homo Out.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


Okay still bleeding. Cranky.

I LOST the fucking entry I did so here's a couple of quiz results.

You scored as Candyman. You are the Candyman. You love living in the spotlight, and being feared. But should anyone question you, you make sure they suffer for their mistakes. You will go on, with people quietly talking about the evil that lives within you, while hoping they never have to experience it.







Michael Myers


Hannibal Lecter




Buffalo Bill


Freddy Krueger


Captain Spaulding


Jason Voorhees


Which Horror Killer are You?
created with

Uh yeah okay. Don't know about that one.

You Belong in Brooklyn

Down to earth and hard working, you're a true New Yorker.

And although you may be turning into a yuppie, you never forget your roots.

That one yeah I can agree. Save for the Winter weather I'd probably enjoy myself in NY.

Amd I am FANTASTIC at giving the finger.

No seriously.

Maybe later I will provide photographic evidence.

And yes my anonymous friend of the last entry venting is coming. Tomorrow when I can fucking see straight and I don't want to stab myself in the eye with a spoon.

Okay I'm done.

Homo Out.

Monday, October 16, 2006

More Joys of menstruation

So if you didn't guess by the title I am bleeding and not entirely overjoyed about it. I am seriously cranky. I've had monster cramps since yesterday and being at work right now kinda sucks balls.

And I have no Midol. And I want meat. Lots of it. And a shovel.

Why a shovel?

To smack the next person that annoys me of course. That way i won't have to yell.

However I did win the auction I bid on, on Ebay. Thankfully. I would have had such a fit if I hadn't won that one.

So YAY new pants soon.

I've been quite the Ebay vulture cruising for deals. I have a serious need to have cute day wear. Right now I'm really obsessed with finding sweaters. I want some old school JCPenny mens vneck style. I love those.

I'm still working on my beauty blog. Wordpress is pretty cool so look for this journal to get migrated eventually as well.

What else?

Let's talk about riding the bus for a moment shall we?

Okay as much of a pain in the ass as riding the bus can be we can all do our little parts to make it a little less so.

When it is cold outside and fucking raining, please contain whatever your issue is and don't open every fucking window on the bus then yell at people when they close them. You want your own level of ventilation get a fucking car.

Also, if you know you are kind of let's say nuts. And things like talking about The Virgin Mary set you off, how about you DON'T decide to have that fuckig conversation and then start yelling- "THE VIRGIN MARY WAS NOT A WHORE! THE VIRGIN MARY WAS NOT A WHORE!" Especially when the person you were speaking to very clearly was talking about Mary fucking Magdalane who was, in fact a whore.

And, if you absolutely HAVE to show your little friends your new ring tone hold the phone up to their fucking ear. Nobody else on the bus wants to hear your crap ass muzak version of We Be Burnin seventeen motherfucking times.

Don't get on the bus hollerin at people. You want to have a conversation with someone who's not riding or getting on the bus take another bus or call them later. Yelling at a closed bus window is NOT going to make it happen.

If you are wearing headphones, don't sing. It's not fucking karaoke and nobody wants to fucking hear it OK? Ok.

And the big rule applies. Don't be an asshole.

Don't sit on the outside edge of your seat when the bus is crowded to capacity because you don't want the dirty public sitting with you. Tough shit buy a fucking car if you want a seat to yourself.

Okay enough for now. I'm going to drink the last of my cold coffee and go pollute my lungs.

Homo Out.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

You suck

The title is in refernce to my back I am speaking to it directly.

Sciatica you suck and I hate you. I hate you like Bush hates wurds.

I hate you because you make me walk funny, sometimes fall down. I hate you because I am uncomfortable no matter what. I hate you because you make me not want to exercise. I hate you because you are NOT helping with the insomnia.

Fuck you Sciatica. Fuck you right in your irritated nerve clusterfuck.

Fucking fucker.

Okay I feel a little better now.

Anyway. In other news I am starting a seperate blog dedicated only to hair, beauty, DIY pretty etc. I think I might get wordpress going for that so I can test it out. More on that when I get it figured out. So yeah. I will include hair pics, trial and error with home styling, how to's, product reviews. Nattering about my trials and tribulations whilst makin myself pretty.

Um what else?

Because of a protest downtown today I stopped in at Sallys and got me a package of hair, a foam donut, a new comb and a nail file. Some of the hair will go around the donut for a base piece for a bun, the rest I will practice doing braids with.

Yeah that sort of thing will go in the making pretty bloggy.

And I am done for now. I hurt and need to walk around a little.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Sundries self care and what the fuck.

So I think my financial situation will be easing up some and I'm making my big list of self care supplies.

If anyone who's been reading awhile recalls I had an absolute fit that a drugstore type website carries only ONE fucking ethnic hair care/interest item among their "thousands" of things. I wrote them several emails with no response and stopped shopping there.

So I went back to Walgreens website and HOT damn they not only have the relaxer I've heard raves about but it's only 7 dollars. So I'm making my list there. I think I'll be going back to using Neutrogena's even skin cleanser as well. My spots aren't really doing so well.

Since I'm not buying from Urban Decay I think I might try the L'Oreal eyeshadow base as well.

And I'm going to buy a pair of fucking pants. I want a new pair of pants so bad and I really don't want jeans. I've never been a big jeans person and have worn them the last few years mostly because they are there and I found some that were cheap.

Granted I feel somewhat guilty that I have such a hard on to feel pretty so much. It bugs me that I feel vain and shallow even though I know I'm not overly vain or shallow. I think it comes from my jack ass sense of absolute responsibility. Don't get me started.

Speaking of pants the pair I really want I'm waiting on word from the seller to see if I can buy them outright in case her auction ends with no bids. Let's hope. They are soe hot pin striped bondage pants.

Mmmm I lurve me some bondage pants. And pin stripes. Straps and stripes can you ask for more?

I have to share. I have got a massive hard on to get me some bright lime greenish eye pigment from MAC. Not to mention other seriously bright obnoxious colors. I think it's my inner drag queen screaming to be fabulous.

But, fabulous make up means I need fabulous outfits to wear with said make up.

Ugh. Me and my fucking fabulousness. I do not live on a budget that allows for a lot of it and it's frustrating.

I feel kind of stupid and vapid now.

And I'm going to shut up before I make more of an ass of myself.

Homo Out.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Stress and body mods

I've been thinking lately that with all the stress and bullshit I've gone through in the last two years or so I should reward myself with some sort of body mod to signifity me pulling out of it.

But, the question is what to get? How? Where?

I've been considering some scarification but, with my skin those fade. I had a brand of half of a heart on my left breast that is gone now. Maybe a suspension? I don't know. While I would like to do a suspension at some point right now I'm thinking more towards the permanent.

I'm thinking I want something of my own design. I'll start saving soon.

In other news I am in desperate need of a new pair of pants and think I am going to subject Mike to some serious thrifting this weekend. Value Village is calling my name. I have ten dollars and I am not afraid to use it bitch. I've been cruising various auction sites and just can't find a pair of pants I think will work.

I'd really like some basic black pants. Which reminds me does anyone else remember when you could buy Dickie's at Kmart for like 15 bucks? When the FUCK did those become fashion?

And of course as I'm bitching about pants I find exactly the pants I want on Ebay but, I won't have money in my paypal account by then to cover it.

Son of a bitch.

Ah the perils of being poor, thrifty and transferring money into your paypal account.

I just had such a tantrum.

I am so irritated.

I hate this.

Now excuse me while I have a fit.

Minky Boodle.

Homo Out.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

STOP twittering...

I'm still tired though I've finally gotten some sleep. It's more the type of run down that happens when you don't sleep well for a long time. I'm just cranky enough to want to yell at anyone who starts talking as they approach me:

"Stop twittering at me you ninny."

And I think I'm going to have to stop reading the news again. I keep seeing things like this. The only response to that I can think of involves either giving the finger and/or just telling people to mind their own fucking business.

Either way.

You don't HAVE to look at anyone regardless of what they are doing. If they are humping on your leg, yeah feel free to say something but otherwise reallyf or the love of all things cute and fluffy just avert your fucking eyes if it's that much of a fucking problem.

And how about people not being upset because a senator is gay but, rather because he's a chickenhawk and sexually harasses people? I'm fairly positive we all know that if it had been barely legal girls this douche was trying to diddle, he'd have gotten the wink wink nod nod, boys will be boys type spiel. Issued an apology and that would've been it.

I am more than finished hearing about this kind of thing and the ensuing shit that spouts from the mouths of people about it. Punish the man for behaving inappropriately, abusing his power and position not for being gay.

I find this magazine disturbing. I don't know where these chicks live in terms of reality but my life does not revolve around where I am in my menstrual cycle. If it did there would be monthly bloodlettings, gratuitous showings of boobs, not to mention the occasional serious fucking everyone within a fifty mile radius shut the fuck up right now. So well...suuure okay.

I don't know what it is. Sometimes I read these 'girl power' WOOO we are women watch us...Rooooooaaar I just feel, I don't even know how to describe it. I just kind of blink slowly several times, purse my lips, think about it for a second, nod very very slowly. And then say something like, "yeaaaaaah sure okay." Blink some more. Ponder, puzzle.

THen later of course I almost invariably have to start wondering what happened?

I just tune out.

Maybe my "experience" as a woman has not revolved around said womanhood as much as others has. I have no idea.

I get the same way in discussions/debates on feminism (insert whatever ism here) when people start dicksizing about privelige etc. To my mind to be so stuck on the divisive 'well I have it harder than you' does absolutely nothing. Makes me wonder if people realize that the longer we're bickering about who's got it better or worse nothing is getting solved.

In other news. I found a documentary about Hubert Selby Jr that I want to see so bad. I watched the trailer from It/ll be better tomorrow. That looks fantastic.

I'm also very excited about JG Ballard's new book 'Kingdom Come'. I love Mr. Ballard.

And I just got very distracted looking at UK editions of books and now I forgot what I was going to say. So I'm done.

Gooodnight Frank.
Homo Out.

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