Sunday, December 31, 2006

Porno and big booties

So I was just cruising around the net looking at boobs and reading blogs when I headed stumbled into AltPorn and saw this. How adorable is she?

And can I just say the fact that her thigh doesn't look like it'd snap if I nibbled on it doesn't hurt either?

While I'm talking about hotness I have a confession to make.

I go to a well known and vicious gossip site, not to read the gossip but usually to have an ogle at web sites that tend to get torn apart there. I was perusing one of these threads and came upon one (began of course by the cry of haters everywhere OMG OH NOOOOOEZ FAT WIMMIN IS NAKED OMG I'LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN-esque statements) that caught my attention. One of the photos from the web site that was posted featured an interesting shot of a girl in panties a (I think) corset fishnets and it was taken and a slightly downward angle to get a good view of her butt.

After I blocked out (read:fucking ignored) the numerous shitty statements and predictable insults, I looked closely and that was a lovely butt. No, probably not for everyone. But it was a good photo, and a nice booty.

I read more of the thread and like many of it's predecessors and I'm sure more to come, the whole gist of it was that NOBODY can enjoy being fat and feeling sexy, that NOBODY might ever POSSIBLY find someone fat attractive. Unless of course they are just too (insert other insult here..fat lame ugly poor whatever) because it is decreed and so it must be. That is the biggest crock of shit.

There is little more trite and frankly ball-less to me than the ubiquitous fat bashing. We all know the chorus, fat people are gross, lazy, ugly, stupid, unhealthy blablablabla. Frankly that is such a gross generalization I don't know how seemingly intelligent human beings can still be saying that.

Let me be personal for a moment.

I myself have been both very thin, and fat. Not obese no, but by the "standards" (whomever's standards) I am fat. I am absolutely positive that if I right this instant posted naked photos of myself there would be all sorts of hateration. That's fine.

I'll tell you though, honestly that I don't look good thin. Anything under about a size 13/14 and my body looks strange. Even when I was very into being thin and thought I felt good being thin, I did not look good. It took someone I cared for quite a bit looking at me and saying, "that honey is not cute."

The person in question was a drag queen who Gods love her always, told me when I looked fug.

So anyhow. While I was busting my ass (literally) trying to stay a size 7 I was totally ignoring my body's own signals that no, this is not okay. It wasn't.

So yes, in case you don't know here's some things that are true.

No, not everyone is meant to be a thin human being. Deal with it.
No, your beauty standards are not the be all end all of the rules.
Yes, fat people can be beautiful and sexy.
Yes, fat people are not always the (insert generalization here) you think they are.
No, it is not okay to demonize other human beings because they have different bodies than you.
Yes, it is perfectly okay to be a size 0.

I'm sure you gentle readers catch my point.

My main point here is that fascist beauty standards fuck up good art. And that really seriously needs to stop.

There is beauty and good things about more than most people think. Just have to open your eyes and see it.

Even if you're not a person to appreciate a bigger body, the least you can do as an intelligent caring human being is not be an asshole about it. That's really all I would like to see.

Don't be an asshole.

While I'm babbling I want to share that I'm an ALL sorts of hot for this model? I am still up in the air about whether or not Torrid and I are breaking up but, straight up I will continue to go to the website just to have a gander at the hotness.

And while I'm talking hotness I'll say that while I really enjoy the enjoyment of the plus sized ladies at Judgement of Paris occasionally I get a taste of the "this is the ONLY way to be attractive" sort of attitude and that sort of thing makes my butthole hurt. It really does. It kind of ruins the whole thing for me.

The idea that you must be fuller figured to be beautiful and feminine is bullshit through and through. That ladies and gents makes me cranky. So I don't generally read the forums a lot. Rather I skin for interesting articles and screen out the rest.

I was similarly displeased while looking at a designers website where the first goddamn thing I see is Paris Hilton. That does NOT go towards making me think these are reputable people. If you are going to try to celeb pimp your wares please have a care.

Although I'm probably in the vast minority ofpeople entirely unimpressed with the fact that Ms. Hilton was wearing this womans clothes. Frankly I could give a shit. I will say it now, I've seen more of Ms. Hilton than I ever cared to and that too, makes my butthole hurt.

So yeah. Meh.

While I'm whinging let's talk about stockings shall we? Yes, I have big thighs. And I like cute tights and things. What is not cute is that most of them are at least 6 dollars more a pair than the "normal" sizes. Really an XL and a M size tights do NOT have that much material difference. And half the time companies only add maybe a quarter inch of extra material and or stretch and that is not worth six motherfucking dollars.

I am over it.

However I still want cute legwear. it's frustrating.

My next largish purchase I am going to order some handmade velvet thigh high stockings that will have to come from England because I've seen nothing like them in the States. I am excited because these are made specifically for the bigger girls and they are stretchy. That makes me happy.

It's lookign like I'm going to have to save up a bunch because there is a ton of stuff I want from this particular seller on Ebay. Oy.

When do I hit the lotto to fund my fabulous wardrobe?

Oh well,

That's all for me. Probablyfor the year.

So Happy 07 folks. Make it a good one.

Homo Out.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Almost a new year

Usually this time of year I get uber contemplative and make long boring posts about things I knew last year but blablabla.

I don't think I'm really in the mood for that this year.

Intead let's talk about being fabulous.

I am going to be fabulous this Spring and Summer.


Well for starters I have been getting some hawt ass deals on some nice clothes. Stuff I actually like and will wear the hell out of. And I've got a better handle on what I need for actual cold weather so next winter I will be prepared.

All I really need now is more tops, some new sandals of some sort. And of course boots. I am a boot whore. I was cruising Payless shoes and found a couple of pairs of boots I just love. Also I'm thinking since I can't wear heels (like pointy stiletto kind) I will be investing in some wedges. And of course platform.

Also my hair. I'm going to do stuff with it. What? I'm not sure but I'm determined not to feel fugly all year again because that sucks.

Ugh it's hard to talk fabulousness when you have a migraine that makes you want to stab yourself in the eye.

I have one.

So I think i'm spent at least until I get home and can take off my pants and stink in the privacy of my own home.

Homo Out for now.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Broke ass state of mind.

So this is sad. I set aside money specifically to purchase myself some new clothes that I like. That I LIKE is the big caveat I gave myself.

So I'm doing just that. Trying to give Torrid another chance and I just can't make up my mind. They have plenty I actually like in my size but, I'm so unused to paying more than 5-6 dollars for a single item of clothing that even the clearance prices are intimidating.

That's sad isn't it?

I'm so used to being broke and absolutely having to be incredibly thrifty that, my chance to splurge is being ruined. Fuck sake.

Whatever I am determined.

How tiring it makes me feel old.


I"m really over the whole belt right under the tits look. I've seen maybe three people that looks flattering on and it's just not for everyone. I'm also still fairly ambivilent about the whole leggings thing. If you are too skinny it's unflattering, and if you're a big girl what the hell do you wear with it?

I'm not at ALL into the flounced skirts. The tiered ones that is. Why? Very simple. I had to BEG and plead to wear those in the sixth grade.

That was over fifteen years ago. Been there done that not feeling it again.

In other news I do love the tunic length shirts. And skirts still.

And I think I'm about spent on this entry. I think Torrid and I are indeed breaking the fuck up. I will explain later.

Homo Out.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Christmas and boobies

Not my boobies. But I was doing some of the proverbial internetz wandering and franky am unimpressed with the nakedness.

I'll just say it finally, I'm really over it in general. The following are things that just ruin an erotic photograph for me:

thighs that look like they would snap if grabbed
you get the picture.

Come on man. Really. WOuld it kill people to enjoy a thigh every now and then? It just does nothing in the tingly feeling.

That's not to say I've not enjoyed some fantastic lighting, lovely faces, etc but come on man. Is it a lot to ask to see someone who's lookin tasty and fertile and not like they need a sandwhich and a soda?

So yeah.

And it's Christmas. Which means mostly to me that I get both holiday pay and overtime. The holiday doesn't really excite me in ways other than wanting to kick tourists off of the bus, being annoyed that going to any store becomes a fuckarow of epic proportions etc. I do enjoy that I bought myself some nice things that I've needed for a long time because of the SUPER HOLIDAY PRICES! (That has to be in caps)

And um.

Yeah. My life is so exciting isn't it? I know I"m riveting.

I'm listening to the last book in the Gunslinger and I'm kinda sad about that. This book has been a sad one and I don't want the series to be over but there you go.

I've read some really good books lately. I am still entirely in literary love with Jerry Stahl. Love his prose like you people don't even know. I'm right this instant ordering his book PlainClothes Naked.. Every couple of months I order myself a couple of books. It's a habit I know.

I'm considering ordering Heavier than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain. I'm a little hesitant because biographies like this often tend to be written by superfans and that can be grating at times.

Anything else? NOt really. Am shopping for new glasses. I found the frames just have to get into the office there to get checked out and reminded just how shitty my eyesight is.

I have been having the stupid writerly type doubts. Meh. Bored with that. It's stupid I do it yearly and it's bullshit.

I really dislike the winter. Yes I know I keep saying it but it is really just not my time.

I'm cold and think I'm going to go get myself a cuddle or some such. And go do my JOhari window.


(known to self and others)

complex, intelligent

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

adaptable, bold, brave, giving, independent, loving, proud, reflective, self-assertive, silly, tense, trustworthy


(known only to self)

able, caring, dependable, searching


(known to nobody)

accepting, calm, cheerful, clever, confident, dignified, energetic, extroverted, friendly, happy, helpful, idealistic, ingenious, introverted, kind, knowledgeable, logical, mature, modest, nervous, observant, organised, patient, powerful, quiet, relaxed, religious, responsive, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, spontaneous, sympathetic, warm, wise, witty

Dominant Traits

66% of people think that nudemuse is adaptable
66% of people think that nudemuse is brave
66% of people think that nudemuse is proud

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (0%) adaptable (66%) bold (33%) brave (66%) calm (0%) caring (0%) cheerful (0%) clever (0%) complex (33%) confident (0%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (0%) giving (33%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (0%) independent (33%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (33%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (0%) loving (33%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (66%) quiet (0%) reflective (33%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (33%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (33%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (33%) trustworthy (33%) warm (0%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 24.12.2006, using data from 3 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view nudemuse's full data.


Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Talking down the Black Dog

I'm sitting here listening to Patsy Cline croon about Walkin after midnight and I'm trying to keep my decent mood intact. I am crooning a tenor along with her. My mood is mostly made wibbly by the fact that I'm so damn sore. That low level constant joint tenderness wears a person down.

Wow mood has been improved. I just bought a very nice total outfit for 6$. Hot damn.

And I am still investigating the whole migrating to Wordpress thing. It's proving a little more complicated than I thought.So yeah.

The outfit is a spring outfit but fuck it. I'll be ready for being cute when it warms up some.

So yeah holy crap.

I also need to find some gel insoles for my shoes. That is next on the list.

And now it's time for tea. Hojicha and some cookies.

Homo Out.

Thursday, December 07, 2006


So I started a post the other day with a tirade about Torrid but I didn't feel like finishing it. I just cursed the person who manufactured the computer I'm using.

It's going to be one of those days.

Add together the holiday season+serious hormone anger+everyday bullshit and what do you get?

One cranky stabby little bastard.

U'm really very very tired. Not been sleeping well at all. Have I mentioned lately how much I fucking hate winter?

I hate it because my body is in no condition for cold weather. My joints hurt. And let's not even discuss what my neck and back are doing. Suffice it to say that they are both in danger of me ripping them out and beating myself to death with them.

Also while I'm complaining why the FUCK is my right armpit peeling?

Actually it's a simple answer. It's the same reason my skin has been wonky looking and I have a thing growing on my chin.

I haven't been drinking enough water.

Mainly due to me forgetting to buy myself a new water bottle to keep at work for refilling. For me to be well hydrated and non cranky I need to drink at least 2 quarts a day or so otherwise I get icky.

I went to QFC and got myself a new bottle before work. That will make it better.
In other news I'm listening to Beethoven Radio and right now Debussy's La Mer Is playing. That is a fantastic piece of music. Unfortunately I missed The Rites of Spring. Another favorite.

And I am distracted again and not really in the mood for this right now. I'm going to play with wordpress and try not to piss on the floor.

Homo out.

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