Thursday, May 24, 2007

My body politic and an open letter to my body

I want to talk about my body and politics.

First of all it's only been in the last few years that I've accepted that my body is in fact riddled with politics. I know I know. I really (for arguments sake say before the age of 26 or so) did not accept politics into the sphere of my physical body.

I did not want to hear it.

I don't know exactly what changed that. I think it might've been some of the absolutely evil conversations I've had with people about sex and sex work. That's for another day though.

Right now I just want to say I realize and own that my body is a vehicle for politics.

Now, right now to tell the truth I do not like my body at all. In fact if it were possible I would fucking beat it with a bat.

Why?

Because I don't fucking feel good. And I don't like that. My body is being defiant of my wishes and I'd like it to stop.

In case you haven't surmised yet I have a bit of an issue with dissociating from my body when I am unhappy with it. I am right there right now.

I am upset because while I'm chugging water and juice and tea and eating good I feel like shit.

So to help ease my mind and reconnect mind and body I am going to employ something I learned eons ago on a message board. I'm going to write a letter to my body.

Dear Body,
First let me say I'm sorry. I know drinking soda (about a 1 liter worth) in a 48 hour period really upset you. You hate soda, I get that. I'm sorry. And I'm also sorry for what I'm about to say.

You are pissing me the fuck off. I am trying really hard to to take good care of you but you are making it extremely difficult. What do you want?

Do you want yoga? I can deliver.

Can we come to terms about what we want to do here? I realize you're not a spring chicken anymore. I know. But you dor ealize we're only 30 here? Thirty years isn't a whole lot of time. So here's my proposal.

I will give you lots of water, fruit, vitamins and some protein in exchange for some sign you are doing better. I will give you yoga and cardio, you give me the high sign to shake the booty. You know you want to. Don't you? Don't you wanna be wrapped up in some sparkly shit and shake it like it's gonna break?

I know you do.

I feel them muscles quivering to dance. Don't lie you know you wanna.

Also bowels, I'm talking to you now. Can you not do that no pooping thing? Can constipation not be the first defense? Please?

Body, I know we've been through some rough times together. Remember that insane obsession with stadium stairs? Or running in general? Remember superflu 06? Didn't I stick by you through all of it? Come on now. We can work this out.

Just to show you how much I care how about tonight a full exfoliation and then some slathering in tasty smelling mango butter? A little pubic hair worship? Maybe even some leg shaving?

Think about it.

Love,
The Brain.

P.S Can someone talk to the reproductive system about the menstrual weirdness? Aren't we a little old for that shit?
~

Ok there you have it.

Granted it seems kind of crazy but I highly suggest people try it. ONline or off whatever suits you. I've been doing this off and on for years and I found it can have such a cathartic effect I am able to get through whatever emotional fuckery that's going on.

I think that's all for now. I am going to make some more tea and read poetry or somesuch.

Homo Out.



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