Monday, July 02, 2007

I really hate to say this.

I hate to say this but I am really over most discussions about fashion anymore.

I am tired of the homogenized, snarky, pissy, nit pickyness of it. Srsly.

I am tired of people pissing on other peoples parades because they are fucking bored, or don't like eye liner, or high heels, or stinky hippies. I don't know when this happened but here it is. I'm over it.

Why am I over it? I'll tell you why.

Regardless of what "they" (they being the apparent denizens of uber fashionable land) might think fashion is supposed to be fucking diverse. I am tired of the do's and do nots.

Let's take something a lot of us have seen before. The infamous Glamour do's and don'ts.

Now for years and years the don'ts were generally reserved for anyone with a visible piercing, visible tattoo, odd or out of the mainstream clothing, and you guessed it fat people.

I recall the last time I ever bought Glamour or read it one of the massively featured don'ts was a very cute Black girl with an afro, nose ring and large glasses. Her outfit was fantastic and as I recall retro and then modernized with the right accessories. I believe her fashion sin was a.) not being thin and b.)not being trendy. I was done after that.

This sort of thing has pissed me off since I was a child. Even before I was teh super Goth (as in I am SO goth I was born black...something that cracks me up every time I say it or Mike says "I am so Goth my girlfriend is black" because it makes people squirm and then I giggle) I have been a lover of the odd, the strange, the stuff that don'ts are made of.

Let me illustrate my point here.

At the age of 8 my favorite outfits were this beautiful hand made dress a friend of the family bought me in Mexico with tons of gorgeous hand embroidered eyelet lace, red sweater weight cable knit tights, my white and lavender roller skates and a gigantic magenta purse. Seriously I thought that was fantastic day wear.

My other favorite outfit then was actually a dress made for one of those creepy life sized dolls. It was blue with tons of tiny pink and purple flowers all over it, a Peter Pan Collar and lovely puffed sleeves. I wore it with a pair of bright red cowboy boots or my bright yellow wellies.

You see what I'm getting at here? It wasn't my mama dressing me funny it was me.

Those who are my age and a little older how many of you were ass over teakettle for Sassy Magazine? How many of you wanted to hang out with Jane Pratt? Or even better work in their offices so they could take snazzy photos of your super funky style? I totally did. Sassy was my entire vision of the future for as long as I read it until the last issue.

Does anyone remember the tie dress? Mine didn't exactly look like that but similar. I sewed my ties onto a base of a mens Ashirt. I wore that bitch proudly while people just sort of stared.

Sassy's DIY projects got me interested in DIY fashion and I've loved it ever since. I think part of my dislike of the fashion community anymore is that if you're um, fuck I don't even know how to put this. And it goes across the board. From mainstream fashion discussion to fat specific fashion discussion.

There always seems to be this Blue Elephant matter of someone not being "insert thing here" enough thus deemed snarkable and/or dismissed entirely. Especially I've noticed in the fat community.

There I said it. And I don't fucking like it.

It often goes unspoken but there's always (at leas to me) this air of discontent no matter what.

Someone isn't really fat (and come on now, we all know it gets said, it sucks but it gets said), so and so dresses funny, really fat people never post and on and on and on.

Someone always has to bitch. And that people annoys me. Love the outfit but ZOMG you used a bad word, hate the outfit and ZOMG there is hint of uh...PENIS in your LIVING SPACE OMFG. Granted it's not like that all the time but I have yet to find any community online or off where that whole element just isn't even a factor.

I know it's human nature to want to pick and make yourself heard but for the love of all things fluffy does it always have to be about your aesthetic?

I think that's what bothers me the most. It seems to me that if you fit the acceptable, aesthetic you can do/wear what you please and show everybody and everybody loves you. If you don't subscribe to that then goddamn screw you.

What truly galls me is that this attitude is SO often cloaked in politics. Instead of saying I don't like your hair, make up, shirt, what have you all of a sudden you're some sort of cultural assassin bent on homogenizing and stealing from the poor world. It's a rare thing that I see anyone just say something like, "I'm curious why do you (insert thing here)" without it becoming some big confrontational fluffernutter of a mess.


Why can't we as presumably smart people step outside out own predefined boxes of what is and isn't ok, to look at someone and just appreciate them. Yes she/he/hir/shir/what have you might be doing every single thing that makes your alert bells go DINGDINGDINGDING. But before going on the culteral defensive and saving that person from their own apparent danger filled course of destruction, take a breath, maybe consider that that persons reasoning and what you think is going on could be two vastly different things.

I know I am probably in the minority here but I think it gets old and it gets tired. And I honestly don't feel that my point of view is welcome or tolerated so I usually just don't participate. I'm getting distracted here but, I suppose my main point here is that the fashion community as a whole is a let down to me these days.

It seems like diversity is only tolerated as long as it's palatable and therefore ok. And that chaps my ass it really does. I am tired of fake ass acceptance.

I am tired of people talking about it and not believing it. Or only applying it to that which does not make them squirm. I'm over it. entirely.

Ok I'm done for now. I actually have some fat related stuff to talk about later but right now I am going to go get myself a snack before I shank someone.

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