Monday, July 23, 2007

Lydia Motherfucking Lunch.

As you might guess from the title I absolutely love Lydia Lunch. She is amazing. Seriously one of my fucking heroines.

As you might guess I'm also an Exene Cervenka fan too.

So yes before you ask I really love women who are frightening and challenging. Big fucking brains are sexy.

One thing they both have in common are these fantastic creative lives that I admit I envy.

I have promised myself that if I am ever successful enough with my creative life to support myself in a comfortable way (read that as not working a regular job or at least working somewhere that loves the freaky people and pays them big pimping monies) I am getting the words "fuck you" tattooed on the inside of my right middle finger.

Why would I do such a thing?

The flippant answer is because I goddamn want to. The more serious and honest answer is that's quite honestly how I feel about your average regular life. I don't need fame or fortune. I have no desire to be on magazine covers and TV. What I awnt is to live and work in irregular and wonderful places. With strange people doing strange things. In places where the fact that I want (or have) fuck you tattooed on my finger isn't indicative of non-hire be suspicious status but rather, where people will say right on. I want to spend my life living around and working with people who will look at that and say, "You're a nut but I love it."

That's what I've always wanted but for a long time I was afraid to even hope.

I thought for a long time that my want to live this strange and wonderful life was asking too much. It was that whole idea that people who don't walk the line of what's normal and what you're "supposed" to do are either insane or somehow less than other people.

It wasn't until I really grew into my Fuck You attitude that I realized that nobody has any fucking right to tell me how to live my life or what to dream about. It was very freeing to reach that point.

I have reached the point that I can temper my feelings of fuck you with the knowledge that I can't always say it. That sometimes yes I'm going to have to lower the freak flag a little bit. But now instead of getting all emo about it I can deal. That's a relief.

What else?

OH holy crap.

So I got my hands on Amira's Bellydance 101 DVD this weekend but didn't get to preview it until last night. And oh dear lord how I love this woman.

The first thing that struck me when watching the extras is that Amira has this lovely voice and is not a fitness trainer or instructor. To clarify I don't have anything against fitness instructors/trainers who teach belly dance but, it can be a daunting thing. At least for me personally. I have to say it's far more difficult for me to not feel like, "OMG how is my fat ass going to do that?" stupid I know.

Also I love the way Amira talks about bellydance in the beginning of the exercise portion. She talks about it being open to everybody, and you can tell from her tone of voice and the way she speaks that it's not just lip service. Also the DVD is slow paced enough that I won't hurt myself and she does a great job of showing you what she's talking about so I am excited.

If I had 90 extra dollars I would SO buy this PVC dress. I've never really been quite so interested in PVC. Again because I thought I was too fat and jiggly for such things. But fuck that. I want SHINY.

I also want this underbust corset. I still don't understand people hating on corsets. Personally aside from the back pain easing they can do I love being able to pretty much entirely change the shape of my body at will. It's fun.

But then again I still enjoy clothing more as costume than anything else. My rather theatrical sense of style is still totally in effect.

Speaking of I am pricing buying myself a set of dreadfalls to wear during the winter. Although I found a US supplier for Elysee star dreads that I could possibly find someone to put in for me if I can't figure out how to do it myself.

So yes, I am retreating further and further into the batcave. And also trying to figure out how to incorporate some more absurd things into my wardrobe without scandalizing my workplace.

Also my clothing tip for the day for sizes 0 to about 26 is Frederick's of Hollywood.

In some of their items you can have measurements up to 52-45-54 or so. And of course if things are stretchy those can be fudged some. And they have super hoochie shoes that go from size 5 to 15.5. So listen big footed big titty havin hotties. Go get your hoochie on.

Also if something isn't listed in your size do not be afraid to call. I've been shopping with Frederick's for years and years and have always had friendly helpful people. I like them TONS more than Victoria's secret.

I think that's all I'm going to make tea and listen to music.

Homo Out.

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