Tuesday, October 30, 2007


I'm still sick. I actually didn't come to work yesterday and I am leaving in an hour or so today.

But in fabulous news it was Uniballer and my anniversary this past weekend and he got me...wait for it...wait for it...A MOTHERFUCKING digital camera.

So that means I will be subjecting you people to photos of make up, random shit on the sidewalk, probably my boobs. Outfits and whatever else I see fit to point the lens at.



I fucking hate being sick. And I've discovered that Theraflu gives me the loose guts. Not really a perk.

Since there has been no Halloween celebration this year due to illness I have a bunch of crap sitting in a pile waiting to be DIY'd. I have lots of projects to tackle actually. Aside from making a duct tape dummy (that will be fucking STACKED yo, D Cups of DOOM in the HIZOUSE...I'm drugged I'm allowed), I have a cheongasm dress to turn into backless hotness to accommodate said D Cups of Doom.

I also have an old Lip Service Fetish line mini skirt that I think I'm going to turn into a tulle bearing half pleather half plaid with floofy stuff on the butt skirt. Also I have tights that are too small in the thigh area (because I have the big hams) that I will probably turn into either uber goth sleeves or attach to a tshirt I'm planning on revamping.

So yeah.

I also seriously just jizzed in my pants a little. Ok a lot. We all know Shannon is quite the boot whore. I need a tshirt that says will turn tricks for good boots.

I just saw these at Shoe Pavillion for 90 motherfucking dollars. I have been lusting after them since they came out. ZOMFG.

And the blurb:

This 20-eye steel-toe boot has soft weathered leather, trademark Dr. Martens heel loop, 15" shaft height, and full inside zipper for easy on/off. The laser cut skull and rose tattoo design makes this edgy boot more feminine, and the world famous air cushioned sole creates comfort.

Granted I already have some Burgundy Docs the same height and whatnot but they are lacking skulls and roses.

To tell you how much of a boot whore I am I actually got a little dizzy I was so excited.

And why is it that I really am very into a lot of the goth clothes out of the UK?

I think I need to make a pen pal across the pond thar so I can freaking shop.

However if I get back up to speed with the sewing then I can make my own floofy goth clothes.

Wow staying at all alert is just difficult. I think I'm spent. I do want to share that I am wearing FABULOUS Bpal but, I cannot recall what I'm wearing. It's not Saturnalia it might be I want to say it's Santa Muerte. Yes, on fortieth sniff I believe it is.

For those who are all into the BPAL I HIGHLY suggest joining some of the BPAL communities on livejournal. I am in two and have a box full of Imps that are as yet unsniffed. It's a great way for us po' folks to get smell goods too.

Also this week I am going to make a post about more handmade goodies. Perfumes make up and such.

I will be back tomorrow.


Homo Out.



Friday, October 26, 2007

This will probably not come out right.

I am an annoyed fat girl.

For reasons aside from that I'm sick.

That said before I launch, let me forewarn you all (all three of you who read this) that I am doped on day time *snerk...right* cold medication and working on about 4 hours of choppy fever sleep.


As some of you who read this may know Heidi did a really wonderful guest post over at Shapely Prose awhile back about her WLS surgery.

Today Deniselle (who i don't know but by the way if you see this that is a lovely name) posted a very nice update about how she's doing. See that here at Fatly Yours.

Following that someone who I don't know and who's blog I will say I've never read posted a now deleted really horrible response. Yes I am going to quote a few bits because I find this fucking foul.

I hope you live long enough to become deeply ashamed and horrified by what you've done, and then I hope you forgive yourself, and take on the task of warning others to not make the same obscene mistake.

Ok. In whatever context, that is not an ok thing to say to someone for whatever reason. That is a shit thing to say. Isn't that EXACTLY the same kind of moralizing shaming behavior so many people in the Fat Acceptance world have been struggling against and are struggling against?

Are you fucking serious?

The entirety of the post is still available on the Fatosphere feed and I have to say I read it three or four times and I am appalled.

If that is how you treat other people, other human beings fuck you I don't want to be at your party.

The entire response was uncalled for and plain cruel.

Granted I am in fact a newb, I haven't been here for 25 years. However if after 25 years I ever, say anything like that to another human being I will turn in my card and call it a day.

Moving on. I don't think I want to talk about that anymore. It makes my skin crawl.

Actually yes I do but not as it relates specifically to that post.

I think what set me off about it is that years ago my first real exposure to feminism was that same sort of vibe.

I call it the No You Don't method. Or the How Dare You Not toe MY line.

I cannot stand that. I cannot palate anyone shoving their agenda down my throat then, being pissed that I spit it on their shoes.

I remember being very young and force fed some bastardized Andrea Dworkin flavor feminism and I was so horrified. These "sisters" did their damnedest to make me ashamed of myself and how I wanted to live my life. They made me start to hate my own heart.

Luckily I threw that off and came out relatively unscathed but friends I had weren't quite so lucky and they were miserable. I don't approve of that.

If that's the kind of party it's going to be I'll stay home and pee in my own sandbox thanks.

None of what I said here is entirely personal. I do want to make that clear. I don't personally know the women involved in any way. Hell, Kell (is that her name? cold meds are whooping my ass) might be a very nice person who behaved badly. Which is fine, shit happens. But I do think it's necessary to let people know when they are being assy.

I am a fan of people telling me when I've said something fucked up. I know how I can be and I like to try at least to check myself for that.

My usual method is to take whatever personal feeling I have about an opinion and ask myself honestly how I would feel and if it's fair to say to myself. For instance if I say, "You are a pea hater and you cannot be in my pro vegetable group" I would say it to myself, kick myself out of the group for a minute. Then probably realize that whatever I said or was thinking of saying wasn't productive and move on.

Also as I've said before I do have a weak spot for standing up for the other voices in any given conversation. I don't like to call it devil's advocate, rather a diversity of opinion. I think any "movement" would curl up and die if everyone thought the exact same thing, in the same parameters.

I really don't like people getting hushed up or shuttled off for not being on the party line. It ruffles my feathers the absolute wrong way.

Ok enough of that.

In fabulous news I purchased some clothing from a lady over at Inbetweenies on LJ and ZOMG love.

I purchased a fantastic black basic halter dress and it is the hot motherfucking sex. All I need now are some hot shoes and hot accessories.

Those are the shoes/styles I am considering. I have no idea about jewelry yet or hair.

I am leaning towards closed toe now so i can wear some hot ass hosiery that Uniballer will be forbidden from biting and/or tearing. He has a bad habit of tearing lingerie.

Um I think that's really all. I feel like stepped in poop and I have another hour and fifteen minutes of work. Then home, spicy beef, drugs, Unreal Tournament then sleep. Rinse, repeat all weekend.

Homo Out.

Ps... I want ice cream so bad right now I could stab someone. I must be stopped I don't need the lactose intolerance along with the cold.

Note to self, NO ice cream kthnksbai.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Meh...is what I say.

I don't feel good. I think I'm maybe having the startings of a cold and I am cranky about that and chock full of zinc and vitamin C.

So I'm goin to tell you all a story and like that Nas song I like I'm telling it backwards.

The story ends with me hobbling up the stairs knock knee'd with a bladder full to burst. For the record I climb six flights of stairs daily (not counting stairs at work) to get home and going upstairs with a full bladder sucks.

I had just gotten off of the bus which was almost 40 minutes late in arriving to my stop. I get off the bus and the driver thanks me for always being so calm no matter what, not making a scene and being a nice bus rider. I tell him I've been riding the bus so long that almost nothing phases me anymore and shit happens, it's not his fault. I'll see him tomorrow (which is tonight). All due to police serving a warrant on someone in SouthPark which said person probably objected to and fled.

Street closed.

Me napping away until a guy in the back yells, "FUCK I GOTTA GET HOME", I jump the man next to me jams his stuffed Barney (I SHIT YOU NOT, a stuffed Barney the dinosaur doll( in my lap, tells me to "watch him" all while I sort of blink in befuddlement because the bus is stopped in the middle of the street.

So I eventually figure out what's going on while the guy who woke me up yelling, continues to yell about how he has to go home and the bus driver better back that bitch up and go around. Driver can't do that. They get in trouble for that. SO there I am, half asleep with a stuffed Barney doll in my lap.

Closer to downtown prior to me nodding off, I was reading my book quietly and giant man sits in front of me, no problem. I see him at least 3-4 times a week. I nod in a friendly enough type manner but for something like ten minutes every minute or so he turns to look at me all weird.

I ask if there's something I can do for him, he grunts.

Downtown, strange guy listening to really loud 80's radio station on tape (yes, taped 80's radio) with a Barney stuffie sits next to me, randomly yelps odd things. I wonder if he has Tourette's or something. He sits Barney in his lap so he can see, turns him, pets him. I do not want.

I get on the bus and the driver smiles at me, asks if I got out early the night before. Apologizes for running a little late. Traffic weirdness. I don't care. I just want to sit down, try to stay warm and semi conscious until I get home.

The Beginning.


What else?

I just this week thrifted some fantastic clothes on Livejournal. Including the dress that (Goddess and ass willing) I will be wearing to my company Xmas party. That is one of the few times of year I have a really good excuse to dress nice and get drunk.

I also got myself some lovely LOVELY make up and I am really excited to get it. I ran out of eyeshadow primer last week so I ordered another tube of that, and a tub of Fyrinnae's oil control mineral veil powder which I am super excited about trying. And a few more samples from them.

I also wrangled (on livejournal) myself this Clinique lipgloss that I have been hunting on ebay for months without success. And a partial jar of Mac Pastorale pigment.

I've also got my eye on a cute pair of olive drab bondage pants.

I don't know if I've mentioned it previously but I handed over budgeting to Uniballer entirely. I am not super great with money and that freaks me out like you don't even know. Having him handle the finances has taken so much stress off of my shoulders.

And bonus even prior to getting a raise, I have actually had some little bits of mad money. Which I have used to fill in gaps in my wardobe, used books, make up. I am not hard to please. However I do like having enough spare coin of the realm so I can keep myself in little trinkets.

That isn't to say that when it comes to anything over 20$ I don't still freak out about it because I do.

I don't like to talk about it but yeah. It's an issue.


I feel like I need to talk about how mad at my body i am right now but I'm not entirely in the mood so maybe tomorrow.

Meanwhile I'm going to crawl back into my turtle shell, watch belly dance videos on youtube and sip ginger tea until my stomach stops doing that stupid thing it's doing.

Homo Out.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Mouth-gasm and Fatty ponderings.

First and foremost I am right now eating this giant spanikopita and I think I jizzed in my pants.

I really love Greek food however I am persnickety about it. And this is good. The green onion isn't overpowering and the feta is tangy crumbly and melts on my tongue.

The Tzatziki sauce is also excellent. I think I taste a little bite of dill or something in it.

The following meandering thoughts may be spurred by the rough month I've had or maybe I'm just over sensitive but there's things on my mind.

There was a conversation over in Fatshionista regarding the sizes on sales posts.

Some few sentiments expressed rubbed my feathers entirely the wrong way.

Among them the continued not wanting to have them. While I understand that everyone has their indidivual tastes when people say things like, "well I would never buy used/thrifted/whatever clothes like that." (emphasis mine) I get a little annoyed. I said it there a long time ago but, some of us fat folks are fucking poor.

I am among them. I buy brand spanking new from the store clothes maybe 3 times a year and only when they are on serious clearance. To tell you folks the truth I don't even remember the last time I bought a piece of clothing that was regularly over say 15-20$ for full price. No wait I lie, the last brand new thing I bought full price was dundundun, a 22$ bra.

So yes, maybe I have poor mans hackles up but that sort of thing annoys me. Good for you if you can afford fabulous new clothes at will, not everyone can.

Also, some people live in areas where finding a Lane Bryant, Torrid, where ever they sell decent plus size clothes is just not happening.

What else? Actually I had something about size to talk about here but now I don't feel like it. To tell you the truth I don't fucking care anymore if other fat people don't want smaller fat people in the sandbox. i'm over it.

Instead I want to talk about an entry by The Endomorph. Her List of Fat Sins.

I am someone who for most of my adult life has been poor. Working and very poor. When I say poor I mean making decisions between paying the rent and going to the doctor. Buying groceries or paying the phone bill. Not getting fresh fruit or vegetables for weeks and sometimes months on end.

One thing that bothers me a lot is just how often it is that I hear, "oh eat organic and healthy and you'll feel GREEEEEEEEEEEAT" fat or no. It's infuriating because if I'm struggling to keep myself in Top Ramen how am I going to afford the fucking lettuce that costs five goddamn dollars a head when for that same five dollars I could feed myself for a week?

And yes, I can feed myself (just myself not Uniballer too but I will get to life wit him in a moment) on five dollars a week.

All too often (not just in the Fatosphere) I hear so much about things that are just out of my reach and somehow plant that, "less than" seed in my head. Less than because I can't afford Big Body Yoga Classes and organic no hormone happy cow milk or fantastic Dansko shoes that don't make my feet hurt. It's painful.

It's painful because being poor is hard enough. And trying (even though I personally try really hard not to do this, sometimes I do anyway) to feel like a part of something that is outside the reach of my fingertips, is heart breaking.

It's painful when your doctor lectures you because you're not only fat, but your diet sucks. Which I've had happen way more often than I'd like to say.

And going to what I said earlier clothes. For the longest time I was really not excited about the fat girl clothing communities because it's so fucking expensive. All I read about for the longest time were these stores with these beautiful clothes made for a bigger body then I checked it all out in my absolute betwitterment and it hurt. I still can't afford things like that.

I'm not going to trot out the whole Privilege Backpack or whatever the fuck that is, I am not your minority lecturer. Instead I do ask that you think about things outside your portion of the world.

Anyhow as promised to the Lovely Ms. Endomorph my favorite ramen recipes. Broke ass comfort foods.

First one:

1-2 packets (depending on how many you're feeding) of chicken ramen
1-2 tins tuna. (I often buy tuna at the dollar store or other hood grocery store for even cheaper)
1 tin of the following, depending on what you like. Corn, Peas, Green beans whatever.
Dollop of one of the following (again depending on your taste) ranch, sour cream, cream cheese

Crush up your noodles and boil them, drain them. Add your flavor packet and creamy sauce, mix well. Add pepper to your taste. I also like to add some garlic something, onion powder if I have it. A dosh of hotsauce and/or chili powder. Crumble up your tuna mix, then last drain and add your veggies.

Hearty and no more than 1.50 per serving.


1-2 packets of beefy ramen. I like to use the spicy one.
1-2 of those super cheap log hamburger patties, (or the weird frozen log of ground beef, here the boxes often go on sale for HElLA cheap and we get one for this sort of thing.)
Seasonings to your taste. The spicy beef ramen doesn't need it but feel free to add whatever floats your boat. The dollar store dried minced garlic is good for this.

Brown your beef with the bits of dried garlic chunks. No need for salt. Let that bubble. Crush up your noodles cook em and drain em. Drain your beef, add your flavor packet to your noodles, stir, add beef, stir. Enjoy filling beefy ramen.

#3 Same as above but add ranch, cream cheese whatever for a creamy comforting type warm food.

Also any sort of lunch meat, or if you are like me and like cheap deli meat you can slice that up and add it for a tasty treat.

Currently I don't always have to eat like that and I'm grateful. Uniballer and I have been poor enough to be splitting packs of Top Ramen or taking change to buy Top Ramen for weeks.

And let me clear up a few misconceptions about poor fat people.

Not all of us live off of Little Debbie snacks and fast food.

Some of us, it doesn't what/how much we eat, we're still going to be fat.

And eating these things, shopping at Hellmart, not being in a HAES state of mind, none of these things makes one a bad fattie. None of them.

I think that's all I'm spent and I want to eat some Haw Flakes and drink some hot ginger drink because my tummy is upset.

Homo Out.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Not all here yet.

I'm not entirely back up to fully functional so you get fluff.

Which means, clothes and boobs.

First though let me welcome new readers.

I'm Shannon, your insane hostess. The quick cast here, Me: AKA Beasty, Muse, WeeBeasty, Fluffer. Uniballer: AKA One Hung Low, Byootiful. So called Uniballer because he only has one testicle. Srsly. Cookie: AKA My Fucking Road Dog. My Bitch. My fantastic lady who I love like you don't even know and who likes to admire my boobies and fondle them in public. Um...various other people.

I generally blog from work. I like porn. I like boobs. I am a wee bit of a boot whore and will probably turn tricks for the right make up.

I am fat. And let's pause there. I am what has come to be known as an Inbetweenie. Generally speaking in pants my ass likes a Torrid size 12. Tops it really depends on how hoochie I want to be. The D Cups of Doom make this possible. In realm of the Fatosphere, I'm on the low end of the totem pole as far as size and readership which is ok with me. Sometimes I talk about things that other fat bloggers (at least from what I've seen) don't. You won't find studies or science here because I'm not really into it.

I will talk about clothes because I love clothes, make up, underpants, my own ass, my boobs, big girls representing in the adult area of the interwebs, and or whatever else crosses my mind about fatness.

I am also an author who will occasionally pimp writings. I love books. I love music. And if you like pina coladas, and walks in the rain please try the next ad. Pina coladas make me puke.

I'm absolutely so goth I was born black. I will sometimes say things about race that make people cringe. If you're stupid, willfully stupid I will be mean to you. I don't censor or remove comments like ever. However, it's been a few years since I've had a troll so time may tell.

So onto clothes.

I am in dire need of shirts and quite frankly I'm having serious trouble finding ones I like. I don't want shit like ruffles, sparkles, things dangling from my tits on them. I Do. Not. Want. What I want are workable plain black, burgundy, purple, other jeweltones and maybe red shirts that are stretchy and last.

I think a trip back to Target is in order for more of their Long and Lean tanks for layering and maybe a trip to Old Navy for some of their shirts.

There are also some fancier tops that I want from Lip Service however I'm going to have to scour the intertubes for them because every single one I want is sold out at the store in XL or XXL. Annoying.

I recently joined the Lip Service Forums and I urge you big booty having folks to joint too. Represent people. I want bigger sizes of fucking Lippy back. I'm more than tired of trying to squeeze it into stuff or deciding if I can wear a cincher with something to make it fit. I can FINALLY fucking afford some Lippy and I am thwarted by not being skinny. Fuck that right in the goat ass.

Did I mention I curse a lot?

Moving on I am already on the hunt for something to wear to the office Christmas party. Last year I looked pretty damn cute in my stompy goth outfit. I wore this Tripp waitress/schoolgirl black dress I've had for years and years, some fancy brown (same shade of brown as me) tights, my fantastic Buckle Whore Demonia boots. I also got dressed in the dark because there was that horrible storm and we had no power. This year however I want fancier.

I'm a little torn but I think I want to build an outfit based on this Malco Modes skirt from um....shit wait. HA check it, this is the base. I want the skirt in black and the petticoat most likely in either purple or maybe some other color.

You get the gist though. With a cincher, probably not that one though. But that is the idea there.

With either my hot as hell patent knee high lace up boots or some other equally sexy shoe. I want to look fucking fancy.

I have no problem flying my freak flag at company functions. These people have seen me with the infamous (and much mourned) bright purple buzzcut. So sad I miss that hair even though the upkeep drove even your very own uber Femme o' doom insane.

Speaking of hair I am tempted to get Goddess Braids for the party too. Or maybe some kind of fancy weave.

That reminds me I'm keeping a hair care blog as well. I am -very- into learning how to care for my hair and retain growth. That can be read here. It's been a hard learning process.

I'm seriously about spent. Miss Poison I'll be contacting you soon. I'm a little brain dead just now.

Time to go and um..drink tea and window shop on the intertubes I'm exhausted.

Homo Out.


Friday, October 12, 2007

Good lord.

So I was on an unplanned hiatus.

Then Uniballer got really ill and was in the hospital. He's home and recovering now but yeah it was no good.

Also my Grandmother passed away during this same time and it's been rough.

Good lord.

It's been a rough ride and I'm not entirely ready to come back all guns cocked but I'm alive.

And I do actually have stuff to talk about so keep an eye out.

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