Monday, October 15, 2007

Not all here yet.

I'm not entirely back up to fully functional so you get fluff.

Which means, clothes and boobs.

First though let me welcome new readers.

I'm Shannon, your insane hostess. The quick cast here, Me: AKA Beasty, Muse, WeeBeasty, Fluffer. Uniballer: AKA One Hung Low, Byootiful. So called Uniballer because he only has one testicle. Srsly. Cookie: AKA My Fucking Road Dog. My Bitch. My fantastic lady who I love like you don't even know and who likes to admire my boobies and fondle them in public. Um...various other people.

I generally blog from work. I like porn. I like boobs. I am a wee bit of a boot whore and will probably turn tricks for the right make up.

I am fat. And let's pause there. I am what has come to be known as an Inbetweenie. Generally speaking in pants my ass likes a Torrid size 12. Tops it really depends on how hoochie I want to be. The D Cups of Doom make this possible. In realm of the Fatosphere, I'm on the low end of the totem pole as far as size and readership which is ok with me. Sometimes I talk about things that other fat bloggers (at least from what I've seen) don't. You won't find studies or science here because I'm not really into it.

I will talk about clothes because I love clothes, make up, underpants, my own ass, my boobs, big girls representing in the adult area of the interwebs, and or whatever else crosses my mind about fatness.

I am also an author who will occasionally pimp writings. I love books. I love music. And if you like pina coladas, and walks in the rain please try the next ad. Pina coladas make me puke.

I'm absolutely so goth I was born black. I will sometimes say things about race that make people cringe. If you're stupid, willfully stupid I will be mean to you. I don't censor or remove comments like ever. However, it's been a few years since I've had a troll so time may tell.

So onto clothes.

I am in dire need of shirts and quite frankly I'm having serious trouble finding ones I like. I don't want shit like ruffles, sparkles, things dangling from my tits on them. I Do. Not. Want. What I want are workable plain black, burgundy, purple, other jeweltones and maybe red shirts that are stretchy and last.

I think a trip back to Target is in order for more of their Long and Lean tanks for layering and maybe a trip to Old Navy for some of their shirts.

There are also some fancier tops that I want from Lip Service however I'm going to have to scour the intertubes for them because every single one I want is sold out at the store in XL or XXL. Annoying.

I recently joined the Lip Service Forums and I urge you big booty having folks to joint too. Represent people. I want bigger sizes of fucking Lippy back. I'm more than tired of trying to squeeze it into stuff or deciding if I can wear a cincher with something to make it fit. I can FINALLY fucking afford some Lippy and I am thwarted by not being skinny. Fuck that right in the goat ass.

Did I mention I curse a lot?

Moving on I am already on the hunt for something to wear to the office Christmas party. Last year I looked pretty damn cute in my stompy goth outfit. I wore this Tripp waitress/schoolgirl black dress I've had for years and years, some fancy brown (same shade of brown as me) tights, my fantastic Buckle Whore Demonia boots. I also got dressed in the dark because there was that horrible storm and we had no power. This year however I want fancier.

I'm a little torn but I think I want to build an outfit based on this Malco Modes skirt from um....shit wait. HA check it, this is the base. I want the skirt in black and the petticoat most likely in either purple or maybe some other color.

You get the gist though. With a cincher, probably not that one though. But that is the idea there.

With either my hot as hell patent knee high lace up boots or some other equally sexy shoe. I want to look fucking fancy.

I have no problem flying my freak flag at company functions. These people have seen me with the infamous (and much mourned) bright purple buzzcut. So sad I miss that hair even though the upkeep drove even your very own uber Femme o' doom insane.

Speaking of hair I am tempted to get Goddess Braids for the party too. Or maybe some kind of fancy weave.

That reminds me I'm keeping a hair care blog as well. I am -very- into learning how to care for my hair and retain growth. That can be read here. It's been a hard learning process.

I'm seriously about spent. Miss Poison I'll be contacting you soon. I'm a little brain dead just now.

Time to go and um..drink tea and window shop on the intertubes I'm exhausted.

Homo Out.


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