Friday, October 26, 2007

This will probably not come out right.

I am an annoyed fat girl.

For reasons aside from that I'm sick.

That said before I launch, let me forewarn you all (all three of you who read this) that I am doped on day time *snerk...right* cold medication and working on about 4 hours of choppy fever sleep.


As some of you who read this may know Heidi did a really wonderful guest post over at Shapely Prose awhile back about her WLS surgery.

Today Deniselle (who i don't know but by the way if you see this that is a lovely name) posted a very nice update about how she's doing. See that here at Fatly Yours.

Following that someone who I don't know and who's blog I will say I've never read posted a now deleted really horrible response. Yes I am going to quote a few bits because I find this fucking foul.

I hope you live long enough to become deeply ashamed and horrified by what you've done, and then I hope you forgive yourself, and take on the task of warning others to not make the same obscene mistake.

Ok. In whatever context, that is not an ok thing to say to someone for whatever reason. That is a shit thing to say. Isn't that EXACTLY the same kind of moralizing shaming behavior so many people in the Fat Acceptance world have been struggling against and are struggling against?

Are you fucking serious?

The entirety of the post is still available on the Fatosphere feed and I have to say I read it three or four times and I am appalled.

If that is how you treat other people, other human beings fuck you I don't want to be at your party.

The entire response was uncalled for and plain cruel.

Granted I am in fact a newb, I haven't been here for 25 years. However if after 25 years I ever, say anything like that to another human being I will turn in my card and call it a day.

Moving on. I don't think I want to talk about that anymore. It makes my skin crawl.

Actually yes I do but not as it relates specifically to that post.

I think what set me off about it is that years ago my first real exposure to feminism was that same sort of vibe.

I call it the No You Don't method. Or the How Dare You Not toe MY line.

I cannot stand that. I cannot palate anyone shoving their agenda down my throat then, being pissed that I spit it on their shoes.

I remember being very young and force fed some bastardized Andrea Dworkin flavor feminism and I was so horrified. These "sisters" did their damnedest to make me ashamed of myself and how I wanted to live my life. They made me start to hate my own heart.

Luckily I threw that off and came out relatively unscathed but friends I had weren't quite so lucky and they were miserable. I don't approve of that.

If that's the kind of party it's going to be I'll stay home and pee in my own sandbox thanks.

None of what I said here is entirely personal. I do want to make that clear. I don't personally know the women involved in any way. Hell, Kell (is that her name? cold meds are whooping my ass) might be a very nice person who behaved badly. Which is fine, shit happens. But I do think it's necessary to let people know when they are being assy.

I am a fan of people telling me when I've said something fucked up. I know how I can be and I like to try at least to check myself for that.

My usual method is to take whatever personal feeling I have about an opinion and ask myself honestly how I would feel and if it's fair to say to myself. For instance if I say, "You are a pea hater and you cannot be in my pro vegetable group" I would say it to myself, kick myself out of the group for a minute. Then probably realize that whatever I said or was thinking of saying wasn't productive and move on.

Also as I've said before I do have a weak spot for standing up for the other voices in any given conversation. I don't like to call it devil's advocate, rather a diversity of opinion. I think any "movement" would curl up and die if everyone thought the exact same thing, in the same parameters.

I really don't like people getting hushed up or shuttled off for not being on the party line. It ruffles my feathers the absolute wrong way.

Ok enough of that.

In fabulous news I purchased some clothing from a lady over at Inbetweenies on LJ and ZOMG love.

I purchased a fantastic black basic halter dress and it is the hot motherfucking sex. All I need now are some hot shoes and hot accessories.

Those are the shoes/styles I am considering. I have no idea about jewelry yet or hair.

I am leaning towards closed toe now so i can wear some hot ass hosiery that Uniballer will be forbidden from biting and/or tearing. He has a bad habit of tearing lingerie.

Um I think that's really all. I feel like stepped in poop and I have another hour and fifteen minutes of work. Then home, spicy beef, drugs, Unreal Tournament then sleep. Rinse, repeat all weekend.

Homo Out.

Ps... I want ice cream so bad right now I could stab someone. I must be stopped I don't need the lactose intolerance along with the cold.

Note to self, NO ice cream kthnksbai.


LavaLady said...

I was thinking the same thing about what Kell had written and the super mad-at-me-for-wearing-lipstick women I knew from around the block when I was a youngin. I hate it when people tell me I *HAVE* to believe in something or say something to belong to their club, and if I don't I'm an enemy of the cause.

I really wanted to go over to her blog and write something about that, but I was too mad.

vesta44 said...

I didn't post anything there at Kell's blog either, it took me too long to figure out what I wanted to say. By the time I had done that, her blog was gone. So I posted on mine.
I like diversity of opinion, it makes me think, can change my mind occasionally, and definitely broadens my horizons. But personal attacks do not do any of those things, all they do is piss me off and close my ears to whatever message is being conveyed.
On another note, nudemuse, I'm not a girly girl, not into hair and make-up and clothes, but I like reading what you have to say about it all, you make me laugh and sometimes, you give me ideas I might be able to work with on my own wardrobe. So, you probably have more than 3 readers, we just don't post often. Keep on writin', you rule.

Wants a cracker said...

I wanted to read Kell's post - as usual we're a day or two late. How do I find the original. I've caught up with almost everything else. I tried to use the feed thingammy but I coulg only go back 25 posts and couldn't work out how to go back further.

A dozen readers (of polly)
See, you have more than three right here.

Your blog is great. Keep writing.

Nudiemuse said...

I still can't figure out how to reply to comments individually.

I'm glad you all got it and that you read it means a lot to me.

Polly lovely I don't think you can get the whole thing. If I can get it out of my cache I'll email it to you.


Wants a cracker said...

Email me anyway!

*bats eyelashes*

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