Friday, November 02, 2007

Links and whatnot.

Lots of whatnot today.

Still feeling crappy in the over tired, over cranky, feel puffy and gross kind of way. Also I have discovered that my body hates cold medicine and fights back with gastrointestinal distress, breakouts and random heartburn.

So links:

Monk made a very delicious post about spanking today. NSFW clearly and I agree that he is in fact dreamy.

Margaret Cho (who is one of my favorite people) has some really fantastic tattoos and her latest is really lovely go look here.

What else?

Oh I've been playing on Make Up Alley and wrote some new reviews go read them here. If you have to be a member to see those tell me.

What else?

I've been feeling strangely invisible lately. Or rather, like I have no impact on anything. Which is probably due more to me being sick, over tired and ay inside my own head. I go through this sort of thing with some regularity at least once or twice a year.

Usually this is precipitated by illness or the aforementioned over tiredness, then I dig in and let my brain spin. This time around most of my issue is this: quite honestly I am just not able to do a lot of things I enjoy and it makes me miserable.

I get myself all riled up because I want to do this that and the other thing, then i want to be able to write about it, blablablabla. The truth is I'm biting myself in the ass with this and I need to stop.

What else?

OH I've had a bit of a personal break thru in terms of my body. Like most other human beings I know I am on and off with how I feel about my body. I realized the other day while I was getting naked, ok I digress here but I highly recommend this if you can, as soon as you get home take it all off. Srsly. More on that in a minute, anyhow I was getting naked and I realized that yes, I am finally and actually okay with how my body has changed.

This isn't really about weight but rather the distribution of it. In the last five years or so my body shape has changed a lot. I've had to relearn how to dress my body and now, oh HAY I'm all right with it.

Ok back to the naked.

I have a problem dissociating from my body and not enjoying it. I started spending probably inordinate amounts of time bucky naked. Chances are, if I'm at home I'm naked. Or naked with a cardigan on, or just socks. I'm not going to sit here espousing how "liberating" and whatnot it is. But I will say that spending so much time naked has taken a lot of those moments of "OMFGWTFBBQ!!1!!!" is that my ass, away.

If you can't spend tons of time naked I also highly recommend after bathing, be naked then. Make your booty shiny with some nice cream or lotion. Sit around let it sink in. It feels very luxurious.

What else?

Oh I have decided that I really do actually want to get a tummy tattoo. I've been planning a memorial tattoo to my friend who passed away a decade ago and wanted the words Bad Motherfucker, tattooed on my left side.

Okay backstory quickly. Pete was a junkie who committed suicide. It was bad. The reason I want Bad MotherFucker instead of say flowers, butterflies or some shit is because of the following memory of him which is one of my favorites.

He and I were hanging out in one of the parks the hobos and drunks hang out in, lolling in the grass drinking coffee. I forget now how the conversation started but, the punchline is that Pete jumped up off the ground, ran around me in a circle flailing his arms and screaming: "She's a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD MOTHERFUCKER" I laughed until I almost peed.

So I think I will get that on my stomach rather than my side because I have a short torso and don't want the words squished. I've been looking for line drawings of hypodermic needles (he and I shared a fairly sick sense of humor) or something like that because I know it'd make him smile.

OH MY GOOD LORD burn my goth card right now I am jiggle my ass in my chair to the new Britney album.

Good lord.

what else?

I'm babbling because I am really tired. And keep busy=don't pass out under desk.

I am going to do the challenge I saw over at Every Woman Has an eating Disorder with color commentary of course:

Inspired by April's challenge, posed here--Eight Things I Like About My Body:

  1. My boobs. For sheezy. We all know I loves me some boobies. However, I love mine most of all. D Cups of Chocolate Doom.
  2. The color of my skin. I love it. I am brown fabulousness.
  3. My hands/nails. I love the shape of my fingers and my long nails.
  4. My ham. Truth is I used to hate my big, slightly out of proportion thighs. I have come to love them. Big, kinda jiggly, and shaped like whoa. I love My. HAM.
  5. My booty. My poor little half a badonkadonk. I am lacking in the ghetto booty but goddamn the right pants and it's cute. Also, naked very cute. Cute enough that Uniballer quite literally kisses and/or nibbles on it daily.
  6. My wrists. I have finely turned wee wrists and I love them.
  7. I love the inside of my knee. It's soft and I don't know why but I love it.
  8. And lastly? My big dead sexy brains. I love my brain it makes me TEH HOTNESS.
The verdict on the Britney album. Cheesy effects, some bouncy beats, her voice not great but she is working it. Decent enough to make me want to go out dancing. Yes it makes me want to get hoochiefied (no crotch shots though) and go shake my shit.

While on the subject of hoochieness I will tellz you internetz, I am one who enjoys the trashy. I don't care what anyone says I find great pleasure in dressing tartily, and (here goes some of my street cred certainly) behave in a less than ladylike manner.

When I say less than ladylike I mean any of the following. Groping, smooching, occasional flashing, the super occasional barfight (I have been involved with 3 and started 2 other ones), loudness, dancing on tables, the dirty dancing, ladies room make outs. Seriously. Granted I am calmer now than I was when I was younger but still.

I like going to strip clubs and fooling stupid straight boys into buying me lap dances.

I have also been known to induce bicuriosity in women who've not really had any. Usually in the form of smooches I will ask for while batting my eyelashes and working the cleavage.

I will hit on your wife. As I've told many men I know. And no not in a jerky way but in a , "I think you are super beautiful" kind of way.

I'm only jerky to few people.

Okay I think I am finally spent.

Going to make my dinner and listen to the new Jay Z album.

Homo Out.

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