Thursday, December 27, 2007

Fat musings, end of year musing and etc.

I'm at work and getting my arse kicked at canasta on Pogo and I have musings.

Musing number one involves the whole Weight Watchers thing. I get why people are offended by WW "co opting" Fat acceptance parlance. I do. However I also get that some people do in fact need something like WW.

I know I know diets don't work, diets are anti fat yadda yadda. However I'm looking at it from a disordered point of view.

People who've had disordered eating and varying types of eating disorders don't know how to eat properly. Some people need something structured like that.

As far as the whole issue of the much loathed word diet and the constant barrage of DIETS DON'T WORK THEY DON'T WORK DON'T WORK I'm really over it. Honestly.

Yes I've read a lot of the linked articles studies and whatnot and it's not the fact that by and large diets don't work that bothers me, what bothers me is the hammering the DON'T part into people.

I don't like the idea that if you are fat and may want to be less so for whatever reason you run the rusk of being labeled a traitor. I really hate the idea that the minute someone says they are losing weight people stop listening. Or at least I get that impression.

Situational differences, differences in health etc shouldn't have to be the thing that makes it sorta ok but not really. If we can't listen to each other when someone is saying something unpopular or marked at not walk the line fat positive how is anyone else going to listen to any of us?

Sometimes I wonder if some empathy is missing. I think, no I believe there are lots of good not self hating reasons someone may want to lose weight. Should I make a list?

Say you're poor. You're poor and find that your clothes, the things you say need to wear to work are not fitting anymore. They are too small. You don't particularly hate your body, or hate being fat but you decide to lose a few pounds so your clothes fit because you'd rather say, pay your rent or buy food than have to buy new clothes. Does that make it okay?

What if you've got problem joints. And because of the pain in your joints your activity levels have dropped off and you've gained some weight. A lot of weight maybe and you're in a lot of pain. You don't hate being fat, you don't hate fat people, you hate being in pain. Maybe you know that 20 pounds might make your life a little easier. Do you get branded with that disappointment so many people express when someone fat decides to lose some weight? Is it right to have that dropped on your head? I don't think so.

This all goes back to my personal issue with the idea that you must toe the party line or screw you. Or worse not screw you but hey let me rescue you from your own horrid ignorance type thing. I really don't like that at all.

It's not really just Fat Activism but activism in general. I get very tired of hearing the party line and watching it bulldoze anything else someone might want to say. A huge part of my personality revolves around really listening and wanting to find out why someone does or says something.

I suppose I have yet to find my niche when it comes to activism and figuring out what role I want to play in changing things. I am not educated. I am not an aspiring journalist or gaining fame blogger. Yes I'm changing subjects a little keep up.

Since I started blogging regularly online some 5-6 years ago now back at Diary-x. I recall I never thought anyone would read it. These years later I still don't think about who reads it other than checking my stats for hilarious random google searches.

These days mostly as I'm ranting away I tend to think, I hope someone reading that gets it. I've discovered that the little tingly bit of me that had the idea for about ten minutes to want to be Teh Supa Blogger tm has piped down. I like my little sandbox just the way it is.

What else?

OH recently I had my first run in with a pair of boots that don't fit my calves. I walk a lot, and walk a lot of stairs and my calves are fine and big and muscled now. A few weeks ago I bought these fantastic Demonia boots:

Hotness. The foot/ankle area fits really well but my calf not so much. So Uniballer and I are going to DIY them to make them fit. Since I now have a digital camera we'll take pictures of the process.

I got a bit of a Christmas bonus this year so I bought these too.

On sale for less than 60$ shipped which is fantastic. The thing about goth boots to remember is that Unisex sized boots tend to be way more generous in the calf beceause typically men have bigger calves. However, this also means that the ankle part can be a bit wide. My solution for that is crew socks folded over to keep your ankles from getting irritated.

Stompy boots YAY.

Also fashion related my office holiday party was last Friday and I looked fucking hot. No pictures as of yet but they are coming Uniballer took a shitload of them.

I'm really looking forward to warmer weather right now. I don't have a car so my wardrobe in the winter is all about a.)keeping warm and b.)keeping relatively dry. So my cute factor has been suffering a little and I do not want.

In other news I just read a post at Feministing featuring the cutest baby on teh interwebs right now. Cute post, adorable baby and this is why I need to make myself not read comments. Why the fuck pick on the fact that the kid has an ice cream cone? What the fuck? It's only one comment but still. I don't have an account there so I can't comment but COME on man, why would you begrudge a kid a treat? How does she know if that's not just something the kid gets occasionally? Maybe the kid is teething and cranky and some chocolate covered ice cream made her/him better?


That is a cunty thing to say.

Homo Out.


Saturday, December 22, 2007

Baby Laughs.

Okay my kryptonite is baby laugh videos on youtube. If you don't crack up watching these there is something wrong with you.

And this one isn't a baby but it's a girl after my own heart.

And a little Tom Jones to round out the night.

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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Stomping my way to the um..where I am.

I think I've fallen off of the Fatosphere feed again. That's ok. I don't really feel like my blog fits in for the most part.

In other news is it weird I get a little bit of glee because I am now an official regular at my favorite coffee shop? They know I always get a 16 oz Americano and often indulge in a slice of baklava or some other wee tasty treat. It does make my day a little better.

I was lazy last week and not eating enough, which caused me to be off of my vitamins and I started again on Sunday and goddamn what a difference it makes. For every time I've had a doctor tell me I'm wasting my money I just think about those weeks I've not been on them and been feeling like fried ass. I'm not back to my absolute regular schedule but I feel better.

Now for the random.

Links of the day:

The president of Guyana >shaking some booty. I love stuff like that. Every country should have high ranking officials who shake it. Why? Because I think people take everything way too seriously and it's nice to see someone in an important position show they are human and like to have a good time too. I find it repugnant that so many people expect politicians etc to be inhuman or to only show a little humanity sometimes like shedding a tear on CNN occasionally. Screw that.

OH one of the ladies from LCHF started herself a fabulous new lifestyle blog. Go check out The Savvy Sistah right now. No seriously go and I'll wait.

A word about LCHF right now. For those who don't know (which is most of you) it is a website for women of color to come and share knowledge about haircare and other things. It is the first 99% woman community I have been in that I really do feel actually comfortable. Granted you won't see me running around spouting the gay but, in most respects I am pretty comfortable. I've also learned so much, and that is very important to me because I really just did not know anything about taking care of my hair. I was fairly certain before joining there that I would be a crew cut/fade wearing lady for life.

Hrm OH I discovered the NWBellydance blog and I am so happy about finding that. Wow. Now if I can grow some fucking ovaries and take my barely knows how to shimmy ass to some of the events. Truth be told I'm nervous because I'm really not very good yet and I don't have any real bellydance gear. There are several reasons for that including the style of pants I like (think yoga pants with a lower waist and slightly bigger leg) are really fucking expensive. And they are really fucking expensive.

Honestly I have seen some very nice stretchy pants of this style and people want like 60-70$ a pair for them. Granted I appreciate hand made things. But I have made that kind of pant before and it is not that difficult and fabric unless you are using some super fancy fantastic ass loving velvet or something does not cost that much. I'm all for making a profit but goddamn man, don't these people know some of us are fucking not rich?

OH come on people I want more friends on Join me in my rampant nerdery. Check this here out.

my Goodreads shelves

I might try to jam a quilt widget thing in my sidebar but probably not. But COME ON man. It's fun.

Holy CRAP Nick Ashford (from Ashford and Simpson...don't front you know you remember them) is 65? Damn I had no idea. I love the song linked above.

What else?

Fuck the FCC again. Fuck them right in the fucking goat ass.

Also let me just say right now I am feeling like Ms Margaret Cho is sex on motherfucking wheels. She's got new photos up that I am in love with. I still really want some Assmaster panties.

Speaking of sex on wheels The (NSFW clearly. ) Red Sneaker Diaries make me squirmy in the pants. Via her journal I found Everyday Nakedness which is a collection of macro nude photos that I really like. That's the sort of thing I can get behind. Behind enough to maybe show my actual nakedness.

For ages I've wanted to do arty farty nudes of myself. I'm not entirely certain at this point if I want this to be a public type thing but, I do know that it's something I need to do if only for myself.

Okay that's enough. I want to make some tea and work on some fiction to distract myself from things that are Pissing Me Right the fuck off.

Homo Out.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Fat girl makes noise.

Lots to talk about.

I had an unexciting weekend that involved a lot of joint pain, a lot of growling and some really tasty pizza. Also there was hair washing and whatnot.

First up though Torrid and I are on the outs again. Who do I have to blow to find a pair of plain black boot cut mid/low rise jeans? I do not want sparkles on my ass. I do not want contrast stitching. I do not want weird washes.

I just want a fucking pair of black jeans.

Also Torrid, you people do realize that not all of the fly fat girls live in Cali right? Some of us live where it's cold enough to freeze off a nipple and your light satiny, breezy, thin wear is not made for that. I am so not speaking to you again until Spring.

Which leads me to my next issue. Where the hell do I find plain black non ass sparkle having boot cut jeans that aren't insanely expensive?

I am thinking a trek to Target and possibly *dread stare o fear here* the Gap may be in order. LB clothing doesn't fit me quite right sadly and I have no idea where else to go. I just want my ham to be warm.

I also am in absolutely desperate need of a couple of new bras. I'm dragging my feet about that a little bit because the three bras I really want are way out of my price range. And my price range is sucky. Big boobs+not a lot of $$=sad boobies.

And can we talk about something else fat fashion related?

I am really over people hating on "slutty, hoochie, whatever you want to call it". Why? Why do women do that? It really pisses me off. I don't care if you don't like the hoochie wear/appearance/presentation but don't get snotty with me because I do. The beauty of individuality is that we don't all have to do the same thing.

I look at it the same way I look at any other appearance related thing. What's rocking my world might make you want to puke but it's not necessary to make it into a moral issue. Additionally, it'd be great if there is a huge chasm between us, don't feel the need to ascribe your politics to my ass. Really.

If that means in your head you're calling me a slut whore for wearing whatever, I honestly don't give a shit. Really.

I'm over it.

What else?

I finally have a functioning digicam so I may or may not start myself a Flikr stream for outfits of the day. I will probably not post them on Fatshionista. I still enjoy Fatshionista but I'm finding more and more it's not really my cuppa anymore. I'm not entirely certain why. Something about the culture rubs my fur the wrong way and I can't put a finger on it and have been trying for months.

Hence if any of you who read me are there, I post like once in a blue moon.

I think part of it is the fashion as politic thing. I don't identify with that. There was a brief time in my life when I did but it felt unauthentic. My fashion doesn't revolve around my politics, nor do my politics (generally speaking) reflect my fashion.

I like a lot of fashion. I am into a lot of looks. However a lot of the looks I enjoy I am not sunk into the culture. Take the whole Lolita thing as an example. I'm entirely uninterested in the squabbles about what entails working Loli properly, nor am I interested in any sort of elitism that i have seen on some of those communities.

Essentially if I think it's cute I will wear it.

That's not to say I don't get into the culture my fashion comes from at all. Matter of fact fashion has led me to explore things that culturally speaking I probably wouldn't have ever thought to.

I don't know where I'm goin with this.

I'm getting tired. My body is aching in a way that makes me want to punch each offending area repeatedly.

However I do look very cute today. I'm sporting high mini buns, cat eye make up with a little glitter, some berry sparkly lips, grey cashmere sweatervest I got on sale from Target for 5$ (WIN), black Express wide legged trousers thrifted from Goodwill and my docs.

I'm cute.

And very gassy because I drank milk last night. I am lactose intolerant but sometimes I crave milk so bad I want to cry and soy just don't cut it.

So I'm going to drink chicken soup, drink water and continue to cruise ebay for make up super deals.

Homo Out.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

You tubery.

How much can you extrapolate from the following videos and let me say I fucking love each one.

Oh. My. God. That's all I'm gonna say.

Hayl to the yeah.

Mmmm sing it.

Yeah. Hotness. Rawr.

One more just because the vocals are gorgeous.

That's all you get. And YAY for meds kicking in.

Homo Out.
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Monday, December 10, 2007

Princess Rantypants calls bullshit.

I have a homicide inducing migraine and have for three days so I put on my rantypants.

Buckle up.

First let's talk about how much I never want to see the word diversity again.

di·ver·si·ty /dɪˈvɜrsɪti, daɪ-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[di-vur-si-tee, dahy-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun, plural -ties.
1. the state or fact of being diverse; difference; unlikeness.
2. variety; multiformity.
3. a point of difference.

Ok so most of us grown up types probably know what diversity means. And you like me probably hear and see it all the time.

Quite frankly I'm over it.

Not the idea of diversity when it's a real thing what I'm over is the self congratulatory tone many people adopt when they invite one of "them" into the sandbox.

What I see more and more are people patting themselves on the back soundly when they pretend like they are really going after diversity. Groups talk about inviting (accepting, tolerating) people who are unlike themselves. I read a ton of random artist blogs and they pat themselves when instead of the thin model with biggish boobs they photograph/paint/whatever the thin model with small boobs.

Granted yes everyone has to start somewhere but, that does not mean once you have a minority or someone else not made in your own image in your immediate vicinity that does not mean you have magically become some uber diversity having fabulous whatever. It really doesn't.

I am talking about a very specific thing here. Example.

Not too long ago I was reading some random photography forum I found on Google and they had a very interesting thread about diversity in a persons work. Do you try to out pace your own aesthetics? Do you open up your eyes a little wider? Some people had interesting things to say but what got me was one jackhole (male or female jackhole I don't know) who went on at great length about his/her diverse portfolio and "daring" use of non traditional models.

So I went and had a look at the provided link and well. It pretty much went like this, tall thin blond big boob having lady, tall thin big boob having redhead lady, tall thin/sculpted bald headed gentleman, shorter thin smaller boob having lady, etc. You get my drift. I spent a good long while looking at this artists photos and the theme repeated over and over.

Yes, this photographer does have an eye for lighting and texture. Yes the photos were very lovely but are you fucking joking? Are you serious about this diversity thing?

I want a new rule. You cannot crow about your diverse anything if save for a detail or two the people you are bragging about including are fairly interchangeable in a surface manner. No really fucking stop.

I am really not trying to be wanky but come on. I actually did email the photographer and was very polite about asking if they are serious about this claim to being a "lover of all types of beauty".

Princess Rantypants calls fucking bullshit on that.

That was about two weeks ago and I've gotten no response.

From that I want to move onto a little race talk.

I am a black woman. I know probably a lot more about my genealogy than a lot of people. I am also acutely aware that there is no way right now to know past a certain point.

That all said if ONE more person says that I am exotic looking I will probably punch them with my exotic looking small fists. I have experienced way too many people who cannot simply accept that someone of a different race is just pretty or nice looking or whatever. There is so often that extra, "so exotic". For the record, that can be really insulting and makes me think you are a moron.

Say I'm interesting looking, say I love nice eyes, say I have lush lips, say I have a fucking banging body but that exotic shit does not fly with me at all. Also, don't comment on my hair in a way that lets me know you're surprised a black woman has pretty hair.

Just fucking don't.

I have heard it from (I'm seriously giving the benefit of the doubt here) well meaning people and I honestly don't always have the time to be the Educating Black Woman. However I am more than happy to make sure you understand you said something fucked up.

This principal applies all over the place. If you are one of those people who will get a shocked look in your eye and then say, "oh you look so nice" and leave the "for a (insert whatever here)" the person you're speaking to will probably hear that unspoken part and like you a little less for it.

If you really don't think a fat person/person of another ethnicity/whatever the difference is, is in fact capable of beauty keep your fucking trap shut. And maybe have a good long look in the mirror because you might have the word douche on your forehead.

More on the subject of shock I've said this before and I will say it again. If I EVER hear the following words with a raised eyebrow or astonished glee I will stab the person who said it:

"You are so well spoken."

I have done lots of work over the phone. Customer service type, help line type and not once has anyone ever said that in that particular tone. However I have had it when I've shown up for a job interview, met a customer face to face etc. I've heard it in public on the bus. I've heard it from random people and my response is always (and has been for at least a decade) the same.

"Is there some reason I shouldn't be?"

Which invariably leaves people stammering about how non-racist they are.

Fuck off. You have predjudices and I am not impressed that I have made the "good negro" impression on you. Matter of fact I could give two shits less.

There are ways to give this kind of compliment without being a douche. Example:

I was standing waiting for the bus when a lost tourist from Athens GA stopped to ask me directions, I gave them to him and asked if he was from Georgia to which he nodded. We exchanged a few very Southern type pleasantries, he called me Miss and started to walk away. He turned back and walked back over to tell me that I have an "absolutely beautiful speaking voice" and should be doing voice overs.

See the difference there? I'm sure at least most of you do.

I have also had random people tell me how "proud" they are that I am such an avid reader. Generally older people and it's always that slightly infantalized tone you might use with a precocious four year old.

"That's sooooo great you read so much."

In writing it doesn't come across but once you hear the tone of surprise and misplaced pride, you remember it.

I'd rather you tell me you think it's cool. Tell me you envy my ability to concentrate. Tell me I'm a fucking nerd and give me a wedgie but spare me the "oh look what the Black girl can do" tone. Fuck off.

What next?

Um. I'm not sure. I'm really tired of hearing a lot of things. I'm tired of getting the message that my love of things like make up and whatnot somehow make me less than or somehow makes me ignorant to something.

I really fucking hate that. I really fucking hate people putting their reasoning into my actions. I've heard that sort of thing from pretty much every corner of life and pertaining to everything about me. My clothes, my hair, my love of super girly things like glittery eyeliner and finding that perfect mascara, my shoes blablablablabla.

If you don't know me intimately, as in you cannot finish my sentances or know when I'm going to yell NO randomly as I am wont to do, then don't presume you know my reasoning for anything. Ask me. If you ask in a polite manner I will probably answer in the same way.

I think I'm done. My head really hurts and I need some tea and a snack.

Also welcome folks from Tribute to Black Women. Feel free to look around.

Homo Out.



Thursday, December 06, 2007

Vox Humana

The Fatosphere is atwitter today over some remarks then follow up remarks from Dan Savage. Read what Rachel over at F-Words said. Frankly I'm a little surprised that anyone is surprised by anything anti-fat, fat hating, or woman disliking Dan said. The last round of this sort of thing I said I was over Dan Savage a long time ago and nothing he says (or has said) has changed that.

Are people who have read his columns for years at all surprised by his attitude? Come on now. It's nothing new.

I stopped reading most advice columns years ago. Generally the advice makes me cringe or wonder what the hell kind of Stepford bullshit people are really falling for anymore.

In other news a few clearance sales ago I picked up a cami from Torrid and it's very cute on the hanger but the fit is amazingly awful. The straps are insanely too long which causes the front to drop past mid boob. Either the size is mislabeled or it is really sized that horribly.

What is going on with Torrid these days?

My homie Cookie bought a swim top that is way way too short.

Um helloooo what the hell?

Also why the hell is it so damn hard to find a pair of plus sized black jeans? Especially from Torrid. I don't get it. You can get skin tight magenta fucking skinny jeans but not something as basic as plain bootcut mid/low rise black jeans.

I do not approve.

However I am still on the hunt and I might have to go to the damn Gap. I hate the Gap I really do but damn it I want a pair of boot cut black jeans.

Also I am not really thrilled that Torrid doesn't seem to realize that some people don't winter in LA. Why in the midst of cold weather season does so much of the stuff look flimsy or thin or sleeveless. I don't know what kind of fatties they know but I do not want to go outside in 40 degree weather with no sleeves.

Torrid you fail. We are on a break. Not breaking up but close. don't piss me off bitch or I'm dumping your ass.

So for winter gear I turned to Goodwill. I found some really great sweaters at Goodwill and that was exciting.

Also Seattle area fatties check out the clearance racks at the Westwood Target. Lots of plus sizes jammed in there once you get past the fug retro sweater/puffy vest things.

Gods but those things are fucking ugly. Like 1975 puked on itself after eating spinach and poo.

Now for Youtubery because I got the idea from Mrs Oro.

First up Melissa Etherige. This is an amazing older performance. I want to have her love children.

And um Tom Jones. My favorite Tom Jones song evar. Makes me wanna dance around nekkid.

And one that is not work safe but I lurve it anyway. A fabulous girl pole dancing. Love it.

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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

More reasons why I shouldn't talk to strangers.

Picture this-

I am on the bus on my way to work, reading my book and sipping coffee. This kid turns from the seat in front of me and sticks his head over the divider way too close and says,

"What you reppin girl what you reppin?"

I arch an eyebrow. Lower my book enough so he can see my STFU glare and respond deadpan:

"Vox Celeste, homie."

He gives me a puzzled look, nods and leans back away from me. I resume reading my book.

These are things I say to people.

I was cruising google not too long ago and did you know that there are black people in some of Heironymous Bosch's paintings? Also in a lot of other paintings of the same era. Now generally Africans were portrayed as Magi which is fine with me but that's pretty damn cool and I did not know that.

I also spent some time reading about some black entertainers in the burlesque world. Very eye opening. Read that here.

Matter of fact read her whole site it's very enlightening and educational.

I actually took a minute to write her an email.

What else?

Also why the FUCK did I miss the Sex Worker's Art show? Um wot? Granted it was in Oly but I would've spent four hours on public transport to get there. Seriously. I'm upset I missed that. Go look at the website and if it comes to your town check it out.

I really hope they do it again next year and I will go.

OMFG and I missed Sister Spit? what the FUCK is going on here?

I really need to start reading the 'alternative' papers and whatnot again. How am I missing these things? I also missed Lydia Motherfucking Lunch being in town.


Srsly. When I heard she'd been in town I sat and had a weepy moment.

I also really need to read "It's So You: 35 Women Write About Personal Expression Through Fashion and Style" edited by Michelle Tea. One of the blurbs says:

It's So You emerges from third-wave feminism, which celebrates not only the frivolity and playfulness of women’s fashion, but also the daring aesthetics of sex workers, out queers, and fashionistas. Contributors include Six Feet Under Producer Jill Soloway, transgender icon Kate Bornstein, Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon, poet Diane di Prima, NPR regular Sandra Tsing Loh, novelist Beth Lisick, Calvin Klein model Jenny Shimizu, actress Laura Fraser, and writer/herstorian Trina Robbins.

I can get behind that. Srsly.

So now my darling five readers, tell me more about what I can read about this Third Wave Feminism. I've shied away from reading feminist books/anything for the last few years because, frankly none of it spoke to me.

I do not want sitting around arguing about eyeliner kind of feminism. I want the kind of feminism that gives the finger, says cunt a lot and is not afraid to masturbate a lot. I want feminism that will do a crotch grab while yelling fuck you.

You get me there?

The first person to mention RiotGrrl gets their foot peed on. Being a Seattle lady I have heard that term way more times than is ever needed. Really no more.

Judicious use of the phrase may be acceptible.

I also want the kind of feminism that isn't so amazingly centered on white middle class people who only academically know what suffering is. I'm talking about people who don't really know what it's like to be down and out. The kind who'll look down their nose at you when you are buying your 10 for a dollar ramens, then proceed to tell you how bad you are for not using htat dollar to buy half an organic apple. Fuck that.

Also, no anti sex. I don't want to hear about how sex is bad and sex work is bad and what I do with my cunt is bad. Do. Not. Want.

Now another thing I want to know is if my criteria here just automatically shuts down a lot of options? I have no idea. I have my own ideas about feminism. That is a question I've been pondering.

I don't expect anyone to answer my questions honestly. But I do like to think it over and let it all percolate.

Also I am real enough with myself to know that I am kind of a weirdo and that's just fine.

Speaking of weirdness I've been nesting like a motherfucker again.


I am pining to make my apartment Uniballer and my super goth lair.

Poor Uniballer.

So far I made him hang my giant skull named Mathilda up on a wall. I have plans to make him make me a coffin shaped thing to store my BPAL in that I can hang up.

I also need NEED a shitload of neat candle type things. I've been haunting the dollar store and have some really nice ones.


I've also got a serious yen for accessories. I haven't seen too much that made my heart go pitter pat but I've seen a few things I think I would like to wear. Mostly I want to wear rings again. I lost quite a few in a household move and would like to have them back. Or at least reasonable replacements. Although I had one that I loved and is irreplaceable. It was a pretty wide tarnished gold band with runes on it. Very nice.

Ok I think that's enough for now I need dinner and water and vitamins.

Homo Out.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Sad Beasty.

So I found a fantastic blog (that I am reading the archives for right now) and she doesn't update anymore.

Bla (c) Kademic I am really sad she's not updating anymore.

Really sad.

If you read nothing else go read this entry and watch the clip of Nikki Giovanni. I would lay at Nikki Giovanni's feet if I thought I could glean some knowledge through her toes. Seriously.

Reading about some of the shit that people said to Ms. Nubian it makes me pretty thankful that my sandbox is pretty small here and truthfully hardly anybody reads it. That's pretty okay with me. Most of the people who wind up here get here from random google searches (which cracks me the hell up) so I don't get a lot of targeted harassment.

Since DX died I don't get a quarter of the random weird comments/emails. And insanely I've never gotten the racist card pulled on me. Homophobes? Check. "Concerned" religious folk? Check. Random weirdos who ask to see my boobs, "prove" myself to them in some weird way, other weird sexual requests. Check.

But not so much of that anymore.

All this of course leaves me feeling more than happy to say whatever the fuck I want.

A fantastic feeling.

So I've decided that I am not going to read comments in any of the blogs I read anymore for the most part. Mainly because I find myself saying a lot of the time, are you shitting me?

Or um, wot? WHUT?

So I am stopping. It's not worth the annoyance and whatnot.

Also I think I need to change my blog list that I read around a bit. I find myself doing a little too much eye rolling. I don't want to read things that only annoy me or make me want to know, who cut off your sense of humor?

Enough of that.

I am trying to work on a project for work and honestly my brain fu must be broken. Also my photoshop skills. Good LORD. Ever just want to remove your brain, dunk it in hot water and see if that helps dislodge the sludge in it?

While I'm talking about brain sludge ever have one of those moments where you look at another human being and just sort of blink? Ever had someone else's stupidity make you go um..wait you...uh...WHAT?

The other day while I was waiting for the bus I listened to this apparently serious conversation between two people. Their main thrust was how intolerable riding the bus is because "they" are on it. When the bus pulled up I discovered that the "they" these two geniuses were probably talking about were you know. average people.

They did that thing that if you use public transportation I know you've seen. The purse clutch, slight nose wrinkle then the wide eyed looking around in horror because they might have to sit in a seat with someone not wearing expensive clothes. I just shook my head.

Some people really should just buy a fucking car.

OH before I forget I don't know if I mentioned that I was having a hell of a time finding some shoes to go with my fabulous party dress for the office Christmas party. Sunday Uniballer and I went to Target and I found shoes.

I was really torn between some fantastic snakeskin print high heeled boots from Payless and some adorable round toed bow having wedges from Target. The wedges won out mainly because I know I'll wear them again. I'm still a little torn between fishnets and some other kind of fabulous hosiery.

So far the outfit looks like this:

The earrings and the hosiery may change I have yet to make up my mind.

As for hair and make up I just learned how to flat iron my hair so I might go with a lovely little chignon and a swoop of bangs that are pinned so they don't quite get too much in my face. Make up, I'm thinking very dramatic big smokey eyes and some sexy super glossy nude/pinkish lips.

I am very in love with the Mac lipglass Bare Fetish. Alone it's really lovely but paired with my Avon lipstain in Bitten it is fabulous. My only gripe is that lipglasses are so freaking thick. Thick and sticky and I don't like that so much.

My trick for super wet vinyl shine and wearability without weird sticky mouth is to put a little layer of this super cheap clear lipgloss I got from Walgreens.

I think I am about spent. I have soup to eat and tea to make.

Goodnight folks.

Oooh wait before I go let me pimp my hair journal real quick like. If you were ever curious about how this black woman (who started out not knowing what to do) goes about learning to care for her hair read it. I also do some product reviews, post recipes for DIY hair treatments that can be good for anybody. I'm the Fluffy Lover.

Fluffy homo Out.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Quality time.

I spent some very quality time with myself over the weekend. Most of it consisted of detangling my hair then relaxing it, then using henna on it.

I found the whole thing very very soothing.

I am really enjoying getting back into what can loosely be called kitchen witchery.

Next weekend I am making some herbal infusions and a possible decoction but I haven't decided on the latter yet.

I'm also trying very hard to take better care of myself. I've adjusted the supplements I take and that seems to be helping.

A word about vitamins. I take a buttload of vitamins mainly because my diet is very erratic and I don't want to be malnourished because I've got a taste for tasty instant soups (the ones made by Thai Kitchen are the bomb diggity) for a whole week.

I also don't eat breakfast and all things considered don't eat near regularly or enough. I'm working on that.

I am really excited about this next weekend. No, I'm not going to go out and party with Leather Daddy's. I am going to make myself some Amla infused oil. Some shikakai infused oil for cleansing my hair AND most exciting I am going to try a recipe I just thought of for my face.


You all have no idea how much I love this sort of thing. I had no idea how much I missed mixing up my little self care concoctions until I started doing them again. I also need to start studying up on herbs and things again since the knowledge I had has mostly flown from my poor brain.

I also need to get myself a little binder for my recipes and whatnot.

Now if I had room and the ability to garden and grow my own herbs I would be in absolute heaven. However, I have what's commonly known as a black thumb. Plants hate me. I coo at them and play them Beethoven they wilt and die. I very nearly killed my Mom's garden while watering it. How? NO idea.

I have never in my life had a plant that lasted. I have killed more cacti than I should admit to. To plants, I am THE DESTROYER.

So that means I have to buy my herbs. Which is ok. I know gardening is not a gift I possesses and I am finally fine with that.

What else?

Can I talk about bellydance here for a minute?

I am still getting such a slow start because of my crappy joints and back but I have hope. I just have to take it slow.

And in conclusion I still LOVE Asharah. I wanna dance like this when I grows up.

And now homo out I have writing to do.

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