The Thinking Blog. This one is interesting watch the multiplying large numbers video. Granted math isn't my strong suit but that was cool.
Also go read A Celebration of Curves. Enjoyable and smart. DO IT.
I've also been musing (as ever) about beauty.
My sense of what beauty is on a personal level has been in some bit of tumult recently. Not so much an issue with my self esteem (though yes, that does waver) but more akin to whether or not I stick to what please me or should I "grow up".
My personal aesthetic has (unfortunately? fortunately? who cares?) not changed in a long damn time. I know what I like and what makes me feel like a thing of beauty.
That said, I wonder sometimes if I am stuck (for good or ill) in this for reasons I can't quite get my head around. Or am I just still the same black nail polish wearing jangling clothes loving weirdo?
I'm really very seriously leaning towards the latter.
I say this because most of (hate that I put it this way) mainstream when it comes to beauty and fashion just doesn't do it for me.
Clothes, make up, other surface things are costume to me. It makes me feel good in my warm insides to present myself to the world in a way that (to some) is just weird. And yes that's okay.
I think that last bit is what makes me want to cease questioning myself about this. I think I need to focus less on trying to, for lack of a better term tone myself down rather I should find arenas where I can be as weird as I wanna be.
Hard thing to do.
I know that I'm happier and more loving towards myself when I let go of the idea of what I'm "supposed" to do/be. My fabulous ass was not meant to fit in a box no matter what shape said box is in. I know that when I treat myself nicely, and take care of myself I feel like I am in love with myself again and in turn I love the world a little more.
I know intellectually that my whole "I GOTTA BE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" spiel can get tiresome but, I do mean it. And thankfully I've grown out of the "I'M TEH SPECIAL AND BYOOTIFUL SNOWFLAKE" attitude to realize that while yes, some things about me are indeed unique I am in fact a conforming non-conformist to a degree and I am ok with that.
I have also grown out of feeling like I have to apologize for my love of girly things. I do not believe that me waxing my eyebrows, not shaving my pubes, painting my nails, wearing lipstick etc makes me any less or more a feminist. That school of thought is not for me and I am okay with that. Now. There was a time I wasn't okay with that and I tried very hard to change but, no. It's unnecessary and silly.
So far in my 30th year of life I have relearned some things that I lost sometime between my teens and twenties. I have also decided the following for the record:
- I have a fantastic rack. I admire it daily. My boobs are a wonder.
- My pubes are not the business of anyone. Theoretically, academically or politically.
- Politics+my pussy=anger. Keep yours away from mine and everything will be fine.
- I'm odd and that too, is ok.
- Not everyone thinks I am fabulous. That's ok.
Actually no I lie.
I'd like to give you my dream of a few scenerios.
We all remember they Tyra Banks is Fat. Nonsense.
Instead of tears and "why you call me faaaat" type of response here's what I would've liked to have seen.
Imagine this, if you will:
Ms. Banks in her favorite jammies with whatever she likes to snack on in her lap.
Interviewer watching her munch with that look of faux concern mixed with glee.
Interviewer: So Tyra, you've gained some weight? Are you okay? Do you need an intervention to curb your addiction to tasty treats?
Tyra: (Eye roll, because come on have you seen her eye roll it's fantastic) Yes, yes and no.
Interviewer: *blink...blink...getting teary now*We're all so worried about you, what will happen if you get...well you know.
Tyra: Bitch you like cookies too. You look kinda hungry you want a cookie? Here have a cookie low blood sugar makes you an asshole.
End with Tyra and her interviewer happily having snacks and discussing booty jiggle.
That's what I wanted to see.
That and I think I have found my calling. I need to be a Celebrity Truth Sayer.
Yes you read that right. I will let celebrities especially ones who tend to say/do stupid things in public pay me to tell them to shut the hell up. Or put on some panties. Put on a real shirt. Wear a better wig.
I won't charge a lot and i will mentor them.
I will be the person to say,
"Brit Brit, honey no. Put on a shirt, and lets go buy you a good wig okay?"
"Paris? SHUT UP. Put on some panties and shhh...no really shhh. Stop."
"(insert other celeb here) Psssst...cameltoe...CAMELTOE pull it out."
"Nipples, hey put something over those before someone loses an eye."
You get my point.
I would teach them not to say things they know goddamn well are stupid.
Also as a note I love that Tyra felt up Rosie O. I think Tyra is obsessed with boobies and she may examine mine anytime she likes. As long as I get to touch her butt. Reciprocation is key people.
Okay now I'm really done. I'm tired and it's almost time to go home.