Friday, January 18, 2008

Bitch please.

I am in such a foul mood today. I haven't been sleeping well (per usual) and humanity at large is working my last nerve.

I actually said out loud today to someone, "Negro please."

Words that I rarely if ever use. However the situated called for it.

Picture this if you will.

You see a pretty girl, holding a book up to her face apparently intently reading whatever is contained in said book.

You are a boy. You think girl is kinda hot. Do you needle her about reading a "white" sounding book? Do you do this and not expect to get told to fuck off?

I was polite enough not to tell him to fuck right off however I was not polite enough not to roll my eyes and say, "negro please" and continue reading.

Anyhow I posted this in Fatshionista and maybe one of you fantastic readers can help a girl out.

I need a plain black semi-fitted(as in not princess seamed or cut like a mens button up) button up shirt that maybe stretches a little. You would not think that is an impossible thing to ask for but I have been thwarted at every turn.

I have been so far to Macys, Ross, Torrid (Torrid and I are breaking up sadly), Hot Topic (my boobs laughed), LB, JCPenny,, and I am starting to think I will never find it.

I don't want sparklies, ruffles, lace, bell sleeves, ribbons or any other shiny fluttery crap on it.

I am wide shouldered, big boobed, short waisted. I probably need anywhere from a Torrid-ish size 12 to an average 16? 40 D type bust. Long or three quarter sleeves is disco. Hip length or a little longer is fine I can tuck it in. I don't want to pop off buttons or have to wear four layers of stuff under it so I don't have a tit falling out everywhere. I can probably spend up to about 45$ but I would prefer to spend less. However I am willing to squeeze the wallet so I can have a staple in my closet of doom.

Apparently my shopping fu for clothes that don't come from the thrift store is just broken and I am really frustrated.

Also, point me towards plain (no fancy stitching, no shiny, no sequins no butterflies, etc) black boot cut jeans/other warmish pants and I might come through your computer and hump your leg in sheer joy. 30 in inseam size 14 (or can accomdate 34" waist) i will really seriously love you forever. I can't really afford over 50$ for one pair sadly.

(x-posted to my regular blog) OH (sorry almost forgot) if you can point me at a pattern for the mythical plain black button up I could probably make one myself. But I am not an experienced pattern buyer yet so I wouldn't know what to look for. Now really thanks.

As much as I do actually like ribbons and other fluttery shit I don't want them on every item of clothing I own. I left the thread open and check out some of the fabulous suggestions.

I think...wait for it...I might actually be going to the fucking Gap sometime soon. Insanity reigns.

While we're talking clothes I believe I might be about to drop some (for me) serious cash on this Lip Service top. I think the Division LS line is very sexy and by the sizing on that bad boy I believe it might just contain the D Cups of Doom.

My problem finding a shirt like this leads me to wonder where do Fat Butches shop? Granted I'd want a slightly girly cut but, I've known many a hot butch with some tig ole bitties and hrm. Note to self email some people.

And PANTS have been found. At Old Navy of all places. I'm not entirely happy about giving them my money but i need a pair of new black jeans so bad. These are the ones I'm thinking about. I'm not entirely sure if I need a 14 or a 16. It depends on where the rise is. No way a mid rise jean will go to my natural waist. And if the rise is too low they will fit in the hips/booty and not in the "waist". Crap.

I might try the Classic rise instead although I hate jeans over my belly button.

Why am I on such a mission? Mainly because over the years I have unfortunately neglected building myself a base of good staple items. And my tastes have swung back to comfort, hotness and the absurd. So a lot of things I did have that are either worn out or just don't fit aren't fitting the bill.

Additionally the places I used to shop when I was younger I can't afford anymore (ah the joy of youth and few bills) or I can't find things I like that fit.

SO, with the assistance of Fatshionista I believe next paycheck I will be making a few purchases from the Old Navy and giving them a whirl. Not uber goth to shop there *insert eye roll here* but I don't give a shit I wanna look hot.

I also want a non tight lacing waist nipper to wear with a few skirts that I have. Those also need the black button up shirt and that would be teh hot sex.

Also really I am thinking Spring here. i am willing the warm weather to get here because my Winter Fu sucks and I don' feel like being cute when it's so fucking cold out. Then I get bummed out because I'm too miserable layering stuff and sweating under it all (because I walk everywhere I don't ride the bus to) and I feel gross and not cute.

Again, I fucking hate winter.

I also hate winter because my skin is still freaking out and I don't know what to do. It has rejected the whole baking soda cleanse every night. No really last night while I was gently removing my eye make up my skin said, "FUCK YOU AND YOUR GENTLE WASHCLOTH" and this morning I wake up to a lake of oil in spots and some peeling along my hairline.

This isn't the first time my skin has done this and won't be the last. My skin is very sensitive to weather and it does not want. So I sooth as I can and wait for weather that won't make it lash out in anger.

In other news I've been so cranky this week because my ability to sleep is again fucked like I don't even know what.

And it's making me crazier. And that is not good.

What else?

Oh let's talk make up shall we?

My Milk of Magnesia experiment was good and bad. Good it is a very nice silky primer for make ups. Bad that it wasn't entirely strong enough to defeat my skin. However, if my skin were not going bitchnuts it would probably work a lot better and bonus it didn't break me out. And it's cheap.

Verdict is, if you have moderately oily to normal skin this would probably work super well for you.

Also um baking soda daily made my skin angry or did I say that already? At any rate it did and there will be no more of that son.

So that's about it. More later unless I am up for awhile then insanity.


1 comment:

vesta44 said...

I'm in the process of uploading all my patterns to flickr so I can sell them (none of them fit me anymore). Some of the patterns were my mother's, or my sister-in-law's or ones I bought for a friend when I was sewing for her. I have one that might fit the bill for you, it's a Simplicity pattern from the 70's. Email me and I'll send you the jpg of it (vesta44 at gmail dot com).

Subscribe To My Podcast