Thursday, April 24, 2008

Only amusing to me.

I was stat checking a little bit earlier and there are posts that have been found via amusing search strings on the google and they are I would bet my left ovary totally not what the person thought they were and that makes me laugh.

For instance if you google the term (not entirely work safe here just don't cruise images) "got hurt by a stripper" it will take you to my paen to the ass I was sporting while I was stripping.

Another WTF google one, "whos the girl in the holy shit i love oreos poster" on and I'm right there on the first page with a link to my first page of my journal here and not a specific entry.

My keywords are pretty funny as well. My current keyword analysis tells me that people are coming from all over ze world looking for "fat black ass".

Although I did get a hit from someone searching "monkey fucking bastards" that was win.

I am such a stats nerd. I am very amused with how people get here, then I am further amused by the disappointment they must feel when there is no actual porno. Or naked fat black ass.

And I think on some version of the Fatosphere feed I'm still on it but I'm not sure which incarnation. I'm not quite that energetic to track it down.

Okay that bit of nerdery out of the way I am going to talk about fashion.

I have this incredibly horrible LUST no seriously it's a burning I should probably take some valium type want to get myself a hot ass Lippy outfit, take a shitload of camwhore pictures and post them everywhere and enter every one of Lippy's photo contests.

I don't want to do this because I think I'd win because I don't actually. Mainly I think that there are probably some other people who are bored with the same tall, thin, pale aesthetic and would appreciate seeing a face that is different. I know when I first got on the intertubes seeing some hot ass super goths who stepped out of that aesthetic rocked my wee world.

In other fashion news I think I really need a mid length denim skirt. I also need some calf high ish boots, more cool socks, and some girly tees that fit right and don't cost my left tit. However highest on my priority list of clothing right now is a new bra.

I also want to play on the Fatshionista Flickr group but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to submit a photo. Insert "UR DOING IT WRONG" macro here.

And can I just say how frustrating that my wardrobe aspirations and wants are seriously outpacing both my budget and sewing ability? That sucks fucking balls.

Out pacing like racing a Pinto and a fucking Mustang.

In other news I bought a fabulous super cheap little Curvations black/red lacy lookin cincher. It's very cute and I still don't know what exactly I'm wearing it with but it's a keeper.

I also decided that I'm going to sell off a couple of pairs of boots I have because one pair is a little too big enough that they aren't comfortable to wear. And the other pair my calves are just too fucking musclebound and hot.

In other news I've been doing some testing all day and my brain is full of jello now.

Tomorrow, maybe the feminism post. Or maybe not I dunno yet.

Also you should go read Davita's latest post it's pretty goddamn good.

I know I'm going to totally sound like a little old lady here but those two over at Pregnant Drug Dealing Prostitutes are fucking adorable. I want to go to A&W with them and have floats.

Okay going home I have cramps still and can I just say WTF? Why is it I don't bleed much so my uterus makes up for the lack of volume by trying to wrench itself out of my abdomen?

And if you were wondering the jerking off went off of the menu in favor of stabby then drugs and napping.

Homo Out.

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