Friday, April 11, 2008



Being that I don't have a particularly wide readership aside from you random Google people who come looking for black girls with fat asses booty shaking I AM ZUUL I KNOW YER SEARCHES BITCHES, I feel like I can let loose as I please.


Seal Press what the FUCK are you doing? What is with this mealy mouthed mother fucking shit? Are you fucking serious? No Seriously WHAT THE FUCK MAN?

I am entirely divided about how I feel about all this(I'm sorry my darling loves no recap I'm already too pissed off) on one hand Seal Press has published some books that have really impacted me. Someone I think is darling and wonderful (Sarah Katherine Lewis, who's new book you should totally buy, note to self get her banner placed today mmkay) has been published there and I've found glee and things that made me go YEAH YEAH YEAH (Picture me pumping my fist while I do that).


Bitch was actually pretty gentle about it because I suppose they are all homies. However I would much rather my friends if they see me smoking crack bitch slap my ass twice and tell me, BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

But then again I'm no gentle flower and since I'm one of "them" I engage best in a negative way. /snark. You have to read the original link up there to get that.

Okay *deep breath*


Okay sorry. Had to get that out.

Now, okay. My homies who are not in the realm of People of Color. I am going to be your advocate right now. Everyone needs a friend like me and today baby I am your girl.

This is a case where (and I'm giving some huge benefit of the doubt here) maybe, the lady who made the original comment of:

Krista Lyons-Gould and Brooke Warner said...

Seal Press here. We WANT more WOC. Not a whole lotta proposals come our way, interestingly. Seems to me it would be more effective to inform us about what you'd like to see rather than hating.


Now that is direct from the blog.

First of all this person does not know the blogger personally. And just like when you're strolling down the sidewalk just because something has an informal tone does not mean you come strutting in like you know people. It's rude and presumptuous.

Now BlackAmazon actually responded a lot more politely than I would and I tip my hat.

Blackamazon said...

First and foremost how ever rude and disrespectful your entrance , welcome to MY blog.

Secondly , considering you want more women of color I find it highly comical your response to a WOC is to tell her what it seems like to you is the best option for her experience.

Because immediately my display of anger is met with a public call for what is essentially servitude

I t seems like to me that this lack of out reach and unbelievable entitlement might have something to do with thelack

And finally since were not toddlers or characters from Miami's most wanted. I would prefer you not use the phrase "hating". YE s my language was strong but yes I would encourage or do EXTRA work for someone who characterizes my words as essentially empty minded hating or envy.

Now optimally, Lady1 should have read that taken it in and reworded. Or just said, (HERE'S THE LESSON BABIES) "Shit I am SO sorry."

Now yes there were other comments but being that, that comment came right from the blog owner and author, there you go. Coming back to defend what you said, when you've been told repeatedly how it was not appropriate is not the way to start any kind of dialogue.

Also, when speaking to people of color using the terms, "us" and "them" really doesn't help your cause.

Unlike my usual stance I will offer some alternatives to making yourself look like a dickhole a few appropriate and probably useful phrases to tuck into your mental roledex.

"Shit my bad I really didn't mean to be offensive. I'm sorry"

"I'm really sorry."

"Oh crap, oh crap oh crap. I'm sorry about that"

You my readers are smart so you see where I'm going. After making one of these statements shut the fuck up and put your listening ears on.

When dealing with someone who is not just like you, if they are a different color, fat, thin, have boobs, have boobs and a penis, have a penis, hate penis, love the vagina whatever. Remember that if that person tells you, that you have fucked up. Chances are maybe you did a little bit and it would be in your best interest to acknowledge that and not be a dick about it.

To go a step further when a LOT of these different people are saying in various ways that you Fucked. Up. Then seriously shut it and listen.

Don't whine.

Don't try to play the victim of teh evul whomevers who're all out to get ya. If you want to be taken seriously shut up.

If after all this you're still offering excuses and reasons why it's okay to have said what you said, fuck you. No really fuck you.

Okay. I'm better now.

See, this is why I should probably not be invited to things that require soft handed tactics because really, I can't control myself sometimes and I'd hate to make someone cry.

If you are afraid of, intimidated by or can't deal with angry black women I am probably not your homie. Sad to say but it's totally true and I can own it.

Moving on.

TR over at The Rotund needs a coblogger. Go do it. DO IT.

Over at BFD Mo Pie posted this, and as I'm looking at my crappy cup o Starbucks, (don't laugh it's almost payday and I'm kinda broke) I actually really like the Retro Chubby Mermaid. I find the shape of her stomach very pleasing to the eye and I'd like to lay my head on it.

What else?

OH Lindsay over at Sneaky Kitty started a new blog about pain and Fibro and stuff. Go read it here.

My pervy homies, check out this Knotty Boys video blog featuring Monk from

I dig Monk. I don't know as much about rope bondage as I'd like to and I've not done a lot of it but I would let him tie me up anytime he likes. Srsly.

While I'm discussing pervy things I think you should all go and read some of the archives over at Black As My Soul. I've read The Sinner for a long time and he's quite a tasty morsel.

And yes before you ask I am in fact objectifying men. And enjoying it.

And if you're still with me here after my frothing I reward you with some bewbies. I missed half naked Thursday so take some DAMN THEM SOME BIG TITTIES Friday.

That is a beer label and yes thems is my boobies.


Homo Out.


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