Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Heading for a heartbreak.

Okay I'm back from my wee unplanned hiatus.

I wasn't writing because my back/neck was motherfucking jacked up and I get very depressed when I'm in that kind of pain.

I finally am starting to feel human like.

So in reference to the title.

I pass this fancy pants store every day on my way to work and for the last couple of months there has been this dress in the window that I have slowly and inexorably fallen in love with.

The first time I saw it I thought, um ew wait what? And every day since my heart grows a little fonder.

Not only is it way left of my style but it's a shade of pink. A deep dark but still bright magenta (what I'm guessing is silk) over wait for it....a bright orange underslip. It's kind of empire waisted and a little weird and looking at it makes my wee black heart go pitty pat.


I've been in the store exactly once, and it was a long time ago and I do remember the stuff is expensive boutique prices. Also, even back then while I was a wee tiny size 8 hardly anything fit. I want them to take the dress out of the fucking window so I don't have to look at it and pine for it.

I may or may not have to try and make one because it's just, juicy and pretty and I would wear it and twirl.

My heart fucking bleeds glitter for this dress. Srsly.

So in other news my Road Dog Cookie is getting hitched later on this summer and I am her maid of honor. In lieu of strippers and beer type bachelorette party we are going to go see Wicked. Ladies and gents I have never been to a musical in my life.

Now I know she loves me even when I dress funny but, I really want to maybe go with something pin up ish and classic. I am heavily leaning towards something like this hot ass number but without the huge price tag.

Now I can sew but can I go there? I'm not entirely certain.

In other news, I find it very interesting that some of the few feminist blogs I still read have only l lamented HRC's defeat and not said one word about the fact that. HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT THERE COULD BE A BLACK MAN IN THE FUCKING WHITEHOUSE.



I unsubscribed.

That's all I want to say bout that.

In fat news.

I really enjoy reading Men in Full a lot. Fat men some fantastic art and point of view. Check it out.

And okay another confession that will probably lessen my popularity and likeable fatty cred even more.

There is an ever growing number of things I do not get upset about as a fatty and that I often just kind of go buh?

The big one is I honestly don't go all frothy over every mention of weight loss, weight loss products etc. I think I finally figured out my aversion to this today.

First of all, Fat people. My Homies. Do we really believe that there will ever -ever- be a consensus about fatness? Come on now darlings. Take a breath. You know it's true. Frankly no amount of "yer stupid let me show you it", hollering, freaking out and hurt feelings is going to change that. Does it suck? Well yeah sometimes it does however suck does not mean it will go away.

Secondly. if you Fat Person deride, mock, speak hatefully of someone who is does not share your size, political stance or space aren't you turning around and doing the exact same thing that no doubt pisses you off like whoa? Yes I am talking to you baby.

The fact is, that if you speak in hateful spiteful judgement of what someone may or may not be doing with their body but try to cloak it in Fat Acceptance that doesn't make the bullshit stink any less. Every time you put your idea of what is and isn't okay with someone's body out there, you are in fact doing the same thing that every jackhole who's ever told you to lose weight. Yes. You. Are.

And being involved in Fat Acceptance does not absolve you of that. And it also does not mean you get to sit on your Fat Horse and decide what is and isn't appropriate for another persons life and body. It. Does. Not.


The assumption that anyone who speaks of, does or thinks about weightloss is in it for nefarious purposes. That the mention of fat free, low cal or whatever is for nefarious purposes. The fact is there are a hell of a lot of people who have yes bought into the mainstream information that they have to eat rabbit food and drink Unicorn pee in order to be healthy. And that is their decision. If they want information that does not require Unicorn pee and two mermaid scales to keep their ass a size 5 that's great. That's wonderful. But if they don't it doesn't mean they are stupid, evil, mean or otherwise crappy people.

And lastly and the huge one for me. I do not believe that regulating, censoring or otherwise trying to skew what people say is a good idea. I don't like the idea, hint or even smell of telling people what they should, shouldn't, can or can't say. I don't and never will.

There I got it out I feel better.

Moving on I want to whine for a moment.

For the first time in my entire fucking life I am a perfect size. And by perfect size I mean, there is a retailer who has a size that fits me mother fucking perfectly.

Now why am I whining?

Several reasons. Mainly because I can't afford to shop there as often as I'd like. Matter of fact I probably can only shop directly from the store once a year, twice if they are having a huge sale.

Reason#2 is that all too often some of their featured designs chap my delicate goth ass. Granted, my ability to wear things that aren't black and/or drag queen ish has increased in the last few years but oi.

Who is the mystery retailer? Dudes, it's fucking Torrid.

From the days of being an undersized lollipop headed size 4 up through being a sort of size 18-20 I have never in my life consistently been able to buy clothes without the drama of it fits in the boobs but not in the ass, or it fits in the ass but pinches my thighs. Etc.

Not a single other retailer especially a plus sized retailer has ever had this many clothes that fit my big titty, big ham having ass and it just kills me.

It's really frustrating to know where to go but lack the means.

It blows.

Probably aside from the prices and occasionally shoddy workman ship Torrid, how you tempt me.

And can I just say again that it is ALL Cookie's fault that I even remotely get twittery in the pants over pink things? Good lord.

And to end it here folks because I have French Press to make The return of BlackAmazon. She speaks for herself.

Homo out.



Anonymous said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading that post. :)

SexxxyBitch said...

AMEN to aalll that!!
MAy I say you rock awesome and reading this post made me smile.
Not to mention I now have a headache from the constant and vigorous nodding in agreement of my head.

wellroundedtype2 said...

Wow, this post is amazing.
Your blog is a great contribution to the fatosphere.
Torrid -- send this women some clothes to model and review, already.!

Marste said...

Hm. I think I deleted my own comment. That takes some special kind of smarts, right there. :P

Anyway, just wanted to say that I love this post. Really great stuff all around.

men_in_full said...

Hi, nudemuse, thanks for the "shout-out" for men_in_full. Glad you are enjoying it.

I don't get bent out of shape by people wanting to lose weight either.

belledame222 said...

Hey, found you via BA, excellent stuffs here.

and yeah, I'm sick of all the garment rending and gnashing of teeth over Hillary. really, really sick of it. I've ranted about it in a few posts and won't go into it again, but some people I just want to shake until their teeth rattle: Get. Over It.

and ffs what's with the whole "representation as the be-all end all of everything?" Does -anyone- remember Margaret Thatcher? Anyone at all. Bueller? -weary sigh- anyway. I'm just excited as fuck to have a change from the last eight thousand billion kajillion hillion squillion CENTURIES of fucking Bush and his goons, and I could've -sworn- most of the current hair-tearers-for-HRC felt the same way up till not so very long ago? quickly they forget...

DavitaCuttita said...

OK, I don't know anything much about American politics and I don't even live in America but if Obama wins I am totally cracking open a glass of champagne. REPARATIONS, MOTHERFUCKERS! Eat it, KKK.

Anyhoo, this post was excellent. Did our chakras get mixed up this week because before I came here, I touched on the whole "We shall not speak of diets!" issue on my blog yesterday. Double-teaming!!! RAR!

You did a waaaay better job though. I be luvinz it more than Mikki D's.

Oh, and thanks to for the men in full link. Greatness.

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