Friday, July 04, 2008

Friday Fluffitude.

I am still really tired so I am posting fluff today.

So first fluffy thing.

I am currently for the first time in years a little annoyed about the size of my boobs. For the record I am a 40 DD. Though technically I can work a 42 if I am in the land of PMS. Now big boobs are great I love big boobs, specifically I love my big boobs.

However, they are a tad bigger than would be optimal for dresses fitting me in both boobs, lower torso and hips.

What I realized yesterday while I was lamenting the fact that I am going to have a closet clearing my boobies are too big clothing sale, is that I had the exact same problem when I was thin, quite thin and painfully thin.

And now that I'm on the fatter end, I say bullshit and shenanigans on myself.

I didn't realize until recently I still thought that clothes fit me better when I was thinner. Actually they didn't for the most part I had the exact same fit problems when I was a size 5-7 as I do now as a size 12-16.

Shit, there goes another mislabeled memory.

In other news.

I have a very big bug bite on the inside of my right thigh and it hurts a lot because it's right were half of it rubs against my other thigh when I walk and have doesn't.

And amusingly, I had the same thing happen when I was dundundun...thin. Yep.

Lately I am finding it entirely too amusing that the majority of my day to day gripes about my body are the exact same as they were when I was a wee tiny skinny lady.

And I can honestly say that for me thin was not better. Even the "optimum" weight my then doctor assigned me was not good for me at all.

Okay so this is not so fluffy or sexy but stay with me.

For me to maintain what she called a high but good weight for me at 135 pounds I had to do the following:

Strict 1600 calorie (or less) a day diet.
3 hour workouts 6 days a week.

Seems simple no? At the time I had a 2 hour commute to a full time job. So to add it up, I would wake up at 4 in the morning to do whatever exercise for two hours. Be out of the house and on the bus by 8. Usually skipped breakfast because I was too busy and tired. Get to work by 11. Get off of work at 7 PM. Eat dinner, depending on what I'd had for lunch determined what I would allow for dinner. 9 PM 1 more hour of exercise. Bathing, cleaning up etc usually took until about midnight or so. And if I was lucky I was in bed by about 1.

Think maybe I started to not feel good?

I absolutely did not feel good at all. Not only was I exhausted but my already not so great knees were hurting all the time, my back hurt all the time. And my skin looked like sheer hell.

But goddamn it just like my doctor told me my weight was usually between 135-140 or so. And as the BMI calculator will tell you, I was still right on the edge of overweight depending on how bloated I might be, constipated what have you.

All that "good work" and I felt like I wanted to die after about four months of that.

When I stopped and started gaining weight I felt so much better. I changed my exercise routine to something far more gentle and more enjoyable for me. And goddamn it when I was starting to get as one friend told me supposedly for my own good, "almost too fat" I felt just about the best I had in my life to that point.

The punchline again here was that the supposed norm and what everyone supposedly wants to be made me absolutely fucking miserable.

The reason this is in my head so much this week is that someone said something to me in passing about being thin and that being the epitome of greatness or some such poop. I really had take a minute (because that's how I roll) and reflect on the falseness of that particular slice of shit in the case of my life.

In other news back to the fluffy and let's talk about fashion for a wee moment.

I blame my best friend and Road Dawg Cookie for a newfound lust for wait for

I know right? What the HELL happened to me she is sapping my goth street cred.

I'm discovering pink actually looks really good and rich on me and I'm slowly moving along my former hatred of all things pink that weren't yanno, pussy.

Can I also say that I think it's hilarious that my taste in clothing is getting odder as I get older? I am tickled fucking pink about that.

OH before I forget.

I posted the following on Fatshionista last night:

Hello my fat homies.

I am a long time lover of Lip Service clothing and they have a poll up currently about what people would like to see. There are options in the poll to indicate more plus sizes.

I think Fat folks need to represent.

I recently wrote a whole big thing about their current plus sizing/line and you can see that in the community here. To see the size chart I am referring to see here.

I didn't even get into the fact that the sizing on the individual items doesn't even go with any of their listed sizing.

I had an all too brief email exchange with their CS people and haven't heard anything back. I really think they need to hear more about it.

I pointed their staff to this community and the Flickr community but I don't know if my yammering will make much of a difference. However a bunch of us giving some feedback would be awesome.

It's kind of difficult to actually find the plus size clothes so here is a link to their current three pieces.

I might be an aging goth but damn it I still want my kick ass clothes. Feel free to link this to your plus sized goth homies or other interested parties.

I got overexcited and forgot to link the poll here it is.

Hot DAMN all those votes that is fabulous. And I am super tired and feeling stupid but thanks. Especially those of you who are not on the goth side of the force. You are made of awesome and win.

I'm reposting it for my non lj reading homies.

And ZOMFG this is cool and has never happened before. Two people commented that they thought it was me because of my writing style. That. Is. Made. Of. Fucking. AWESOME!!!

Awesome. O squee'd so hard I almost pulled something.

And before I go, I've got three possible titles for my sexy times advice thingy. Also, I will probably do the form this weekend while I'm doing some other web type work.

Okay I'm spent. I've been watching a crapload of make up videos on youtube lately and if I can figure out how to do it myself I'd like to give a go at reviews.

So I love you guys.

I know I'm a dirty hippy but I totally do.

Happy 4th us homies.

Rest of the world, please hope I don't have to punch someone in the neck for being a drunken moron armed with fire.

Homo Out.


Twistie said...

I think a lot of us manage to conflate changes in size with changes in shape. When I started gaining weight, I thought that no matter what else, at last I would have boobs!!!

Not so much. Even at my largest size (26 on a 5'2" bod) I was still flat-chested. I was still flat up and down. I was just a slightly thicker sausage of a shape. Ah well.

I have no real problem with pink other than the fact that I have yet to find a shade that doesn't make me look like I'm suffering from a severe case of jaundice. OTOH, I prefer purple and orange and bright shades of blue and look fan-freaking-tastic in all of those colors. So there's one color on the planet that looks horrible on me. I think I can both live with that and live with the fact it's pink. More power to you and your pink oddessy, though. Sometimes we surprise ourselves. I think that's a wonderful thing.

Mindy said...

I can relate to the clothes fit issue. When I was at my thinnest, about 140-145, it was almost impossible for me to find a dress that fit me properly. I am very broad shouldered and have a very athletic build (even under my flab now) and am short. If I found anything that I could actually zip up past the middle of my back, it was too big on the bottom. Now I'm a size 16-18-20 and can find lots of dresses that fit me correctly, although I'm still working on my issues with my naturally-occurring muffin top.

As for colors, I didn't start wearing pink until about two years ago and find most shades are flattering on me. I have very dark hair and skin so light I'm practically pink. I do well with jewel tones, but can't go too pale on yellow or wear a green with too much yellow in it, and orange just doesn't work at all. Red is a good color, but I find a bluer red looks better on me than an orangey red.

Ms. Heathen said...

Their sizing is odd, ideally, I'd wear their 4. Ok, maybe it's conceivable that my waist could be the same size as my rack, I've seen a lot of tubuliscious fat ladies who rock that body shape. However, if my waist were the same size as my rack, what makes them think that I'd miraculously go *in* at the thigh? I'd be almost able to fit their stuff if they'd flip those two measurements. Almost, I'd like another inch in the bust, just so I can take a deep breath every now and again.

They've got some really cute clothes. Do you know how much I'm dying for a corsetted style top that looks right on me? If I weren't a broke-ass fat girl, I'd buy an actual friggin corset! Nobody makes anything sexxxy in size fat. ("Extended plus" doesn't mean I wanna dress frumpy every day.)

Ms. Heathen said...

Ah dang, I can't edit my comments. Wanted to add: Pink clashes with the shade of brassy orange I usually dye my hair. I try to avoid anything that messes with my trashy trashy hair color. :)

Anonymous said...

I was the one who recognized you on second look on LJ.

It was the "fat homies" that gave you away! :)

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