So first fluffy thing.
I am currently for the first time in years a little annoyed about the size of my boobs. For the record I am a 40 DD. Though technically I can work a 42 if I am in the land of PMS. Now big boobs are great I love big boobs, specifically I love my big boobs.
However, they are a tad bigger than would be optimal for dresses fitting me in both boobs, lower torso and hips.
What I realized yesterday while I was lamenting the fact that I am going to have a closet clearing my boobies are too big clothing sale, is that I had the exact same problem when I was thin, quite thin and painfully thin.
And now that I'm on the fatter end, I say bullshit and shenanigans on myself.
I didn't realize until recently I still thought that clothes fit me better when I was thinner. Actually they didn't for the most part I had the exact same fit problems when I was a size 5-7 as I do now as a size 12-16.
Shit, there goes another mislabeled memory.
In other news.
I have a very big bug bite on the inside of my right thigh and it hurts a lot because it's right were half of it rubs against my other thigh when I walk and have doesn't.
And amusingly, I had the same thing happen when I was dundundun...thin. Yep.
Lately I am finding it entirely too amusing that the majority of my day to day gripes about my body are the exact same as they were when I was a wee tiny skinny lady.
And I can honestly say that for me thin was not better. Even the "optimum" weight my then doctor assigned me was not good for me at all.
Okay so this is not so fluffy or sexy but stay with me.
For me to maintain what she called a high but good weight for me at 135 pounds I had to do the following:
Strict 1600 calorie (or less) a day diet.
3 hour workouts 6 days a week.
Seems simple no? At the time I had a 2 hour commute to a full time job. So to add it up, I would wake up at 4 in the morning to do whatever exercise for two hours. Be out of the house and on the bus by 8. Usually skipped breakfast because I was too busy and tired. Get to work by 11. Get off of work at 7 PM. Eat dinner, depending on what I'd had for lunch determined what I would allow for dinner. 9 PM 1 more hour of exercise. Bathing, cleaning up etc usually took until about midnight or so. And if I was lucky I was in bed by about 1.
Think maybe I started to not feel good?
I absolutely did not feel good at all. Not only was I exhausted but my already not so great knees were hurting all the time, my back hurt all the time. And my skin looked like sheer hell.
But goddamn it just like my doctor told me my weight was usually between 135-140 or so. And as the BMI calculator will tell you, I was still right on the edge of overweight depending on how bloated I might be, constipated what have you.
All that "good work" and I felt like I wanted to die after about four months of that.
When I stopped and started gaining weight I felt so much better. I changed my exercise routine to something far more gentle and more enjoyable for me. And goddamn it when I was starting to get as one friend told me supposedly for my own good, "almost too fat" I felt just about the best I had in my life to that point.
The punchline again here was that the supposed norm and what everyone supposedly wants to be made me absolutely fucking miserable.
The reason this is in my head so much this week is that someone said something to me in passing about being thin and that being the epitome of greatness or some such poop. I really had take a minute (because that's how I roll) and reflect on the falseness of that particular slice of shit in the case of my life.
In other news back to the fluffy and let's talk about fashion for a wee moment.
I blame my best friend and Road Dawg Cookie for a newfound lust for wait for it...pink.
I know right? What the HELL happened to me she is sapping my goth street cred.
I'm discovering pink actually looks really good and rich on me and I'm slowly moving along my former hatred of all things pink that weren't yanno, pussy.
Can I also say that I think it's hilarious that my taste in clothing is getting odder as I get older? I am tickled fucking pink about that.
OH before I forget.
I posted the following on Fatshionista last night:
Hello my fat homies.
I am a long time lover of Lip Service clothing and they have a poll up currently about what people would like to see. There are options in the poll to indicate more plus sizes.
I think Fat folks need to represent.
I recently wrote a whole big thing about their current plus sizing/line and you can see that in the
community here. To see the size chart I am referring to see here.
I didn't even get into the fact that the sizing on the individual items doesn't even go with any of their listed sizing.
I had an all too brief email exchange with their CS people and haven't heard anything back. I really think they need to hear more about it.
I pointed their staff to this community and the Flickr community but I don't know if my yammering will make much of a difference. However a bunch of us giving some feedback would be awesome.
It's kind of difficult to actually find the plus size clothes so here is a link to their current three pieces.
I might be an aging goth but damn it I still want my kick ass clothes. Feel free to link this to your plus sized goth homies or other interested parties.
I got overexcited and forgot to link the poll here it is.
Hot DAMN all those votes that is fabulous. And I am super tired and feeling stupid but thanks. Especially those of you who are not on the goth side of the force. You are made of awesome and win.
I'm reposting it for my non lj reading homies.
And ZOMFG this is cool and has never happened before. Two people commented that they thought it was me because of my writing style. That. Is. Made. Of. Fucking. AWESOME!!!
Awesome. O squee'd so hard I almost pulled something.
And before I go, I've got three possible titles for my sexy times advice thingy. Also, I will probably do the form this weekend while I'm doing some other web type work.
Okay I'm spent. I've been watching a crapload of make up videos on youtube lately and if I can figure out how to do it myself I'd like to give a go at reviews.
So I love you guys.
I know I'm a dirty hippy but I totally do.
Happy 4th us homies.
Rest of the world, please hope I don't have to punch someone in the neck for being a drunken moron armed with fire.