Thursday, July 17, 2008

How about no?

Before I get into the meaty bits of what I'd like to talk about today I'm going to admit to something.

I totally giggled because I saw Prunella's bewbies. Also because she has a very cute new kitten.

Now onto the meaty part of what's been bubbling away in my brain matter since last night. New sexy column tomorrow and I even got a question from a BOY and I'm excited.

So I've mentioned before that I am a big fan of Violet Blue. I read her Hump Day Porn Break entry (okay in case you haven't guessed darlings not a lick of this pun intended is going to be work safe so save the links for later) and happened on a link to a fan request for "curvy" girls over at Fleshbot.

Now the first thing that caught my eye was Ms. Blue's caveat that these are not in fact BBW ladies. As always those kind of warning always annoy me a tad bit. I feel the same way when people say, "not in a gay way", "not ALL black people" you get my drift.

Now when I looked at the Fleshbot entry I was in fact kinda excited. I do love some big natural boobies, I do love naked ladies on whom I can count nary a rib. However the use of the word "curvy" as a euphemism for perceived fatness or bigness is a bit much.

Lots of women are curvy. Some of them are a size 0, some of them are a size 28. Some women are more of a straight shape, some have big boobs and no ass, some have little boobs and lots of ass. Now on reading the comments most of them were appreciative of the "big" girls and there was some mention that not a single one of those ladies was at all big and/or plus size. There was even recognition that they are "big" in the porn world.

However the author (who I don't know, I forget to read Fleshbot most of the time) left it the way it was.

All this of course makes me ruminate on the fact that most people have no clue how any particular weight or what clothing size means in terms of actual flesh. Is it any wonder so many of us are so confused about our bodies?

TR was quite right when she was so excited to see a naked woman who looked a lot like her. Read her entry here.

Times like this I really wish there was some giant repository of naked pictures where you could type in your height and weight and see other naked human beings who are within the same range as you. How awesome would that be?

I think this is why places like Fatshionsta on Flickr and on LJ are important. However I do think that somewhere where everyone is welcome. Would be even more fantastic. What's sad though is that I don't really see that the human body in all it's fantastic variants being normalized anytime soon.

Can you imagine if at some point the idea that you have to give warning about a body, (these aren't BBW's, I'm fat, I'm not fat etc etc). Granted I never do that in general or at least I try not to. If someone has a shitty reaction to something it's their own responsibility not mine. But it is such a prevelant thing to warn people that what they are about to see might be oh noez DIFFERENT OH NO NO NO.

How do we make it happen?

First thing stop apologizing. Don't apologize for your messy hair, greasy face, fat ass, small boobs, ribs showing or whatever when you publicly discuss or show photos of yourself. Just don't. When you hear people express disgust about, small boobs, greasy faces, saggy balls, hairy asses, ribs, fat asses, messy hair and ashy knees. Call them on it.

You don't have to be the educator, you can leave it at a simple "that's really uncalled for and inappropriate" to giving it to 'em with both barrels that's up to you.

I believe that change can be as creepingly insidious as bullshit. But it smells better and quite frankly makes it better for everyone.

Now back to the original links up there. If I knew any of the people I linked personally I would ask why the caveat? Do you have some idea that you're going to offend if they were in fact fat women? Would it be so terrible if the "curvy, chubby" women were actually fat?

I don't know the answer to any of those questions but I do wonder.

I should say now that I don't actually comment very often on strangers blogs. I'm just not in the habit of doing it. Especially people who I just plain don't know at all.

I think that's all I have to say about this for right now. Later on I might do an entry about clothes because I have a jones for recycled clothing lately.

Homo Out.

PS..keep the questions coming. I'm aiming to do sexy times questions every other day or so sprinkled in with the rest of the crap I talk about.

And PPS...YAY I'm so glad you liked your answer Fat Cowgirl. Remember, pillows under the booty.


Jen said...

I couldn't figure out how to do the reverse cowgirl last night. *sadface*

Prunella Jones said...

I'm glad you liked my pic. I love looking at boobs myself. Big ones, small ones, doesn't matter. They are all lovely and should be proudly shown IMO.

Persephone said...

I followed a link back to the original comment, the one that requested the post this is about:

"And...I'm sure I'll get shit for this, but I like looking at chubby chicks. [...] That being said, let's not go with any 300 pounders. Some things can't be unseen."


Subscribe To My Podcast