I hate doing it. I hate talking about it. In short, I mother FUCKING hate yoga.
I hate it because even when I was super flexible I never EVER found a way not to choke on my own fucking tits.
I also never found a way around my big hams. Because even as a thing girl Hams, I had them.
If ONE more fucking person tells me to try yoga for my joints and back I am going to stab them.
I'm not sleeping thus I am posting.
I just watched a crapload of videos from TribalFest 08 (and before anyone gets to bunching their panties this is Tribal used in the context of a group of people and not culture stealing vultures) and I am quite honestly fairly depressed.
I have been wanting, no really wanting to really learn how to bellydance for years. But am stopped constantly by lack of money for classes and most often my crap ass joints and back.
I have been in enough pain lately that I am starting to again (a very serious issue I have) view my physical body as the enemy.
Is it because I'm fat?
It's because the mind is willing but the flesh is being a motherfucker.
And the bigger issue is that I want to do more than I am capable of right now and it makes me angry that I have trouble sleeping due to discomfort and pain. It makes me angry that my usual walk is harder instead of the same.
I am pissed off.
And Fatosphere I don't know what to do.
I don't know where to direct my anger at my current state of physical being.
Thus, you get no content.
Now if I could get ahold of my fucking doctor, I would be a little less angry but that's a whole other post.
Also, I still fucking hate yoga.
I'm going to go take a hot bath and boil in some nice smelling mineral salts I got at the drug store. And quite possibly wax my eyebrows.
Tomorrow..no later today I'll discuss a little about how beauty relates to all this.