Thursday, July 31, 2008

I hate yoga.

Okay I admit it. I hate yoga.

I hate doing it. I hate talking about it. In short, I mother FUCKING hate yoga.

I hate it because even when I was super flexible I never EVER found a way not to choke on my own fucking tits.

I also never found a way around my big hams. Because even as a thing girl Hams, I had them.

If ONE more fucking person tells me to try yoga for my joints and back I am going to stab them.

I'm not sleeping thus I am posting.

I just watched a crapload of videos from TribalFest 08 (and before anyone gets to bunching their panties this is Tribal used in the context of a group of people and not culture stealing vultures) and I am quite honestly fairly depressed.

I have been wanting, no really wanting to really learn how to bellydance for years. But am stopped constantly by lack of money for classes and most often my crap ass joints and back.

I have been in enough pain lately that I am starting to again (a very serious issue I have) view my physical body as the enemy.

Is it because I'm fat?


It's because the mind is willing but the flesh is being a motherfucker.

And the bigger issue is that I want to do more than I am capable of right now and it makes me angry that I have trouble sleeping due to discomfort and pain. It makes me angry that my usual walk is harder instead of the same.

I am pissed off.

And Fatosphere I don't know what to do.

I don't know where to direct my anger at my current state of physical being.

Thus, you get no content.

Now if I could get ahold of my fucking doctor, I would be a little less angry but that's a whole other post.

Also, I still fucking hate yoga.

I'm going to go take a hot bath and boil in some nice smelling mineral salts I got at the drug store. And quite possibly wax my eyebrows. later today I'll discuss a little about how beauty relates to all this.

Homo Out.


Sniper said...

And Fatosphere I don't know what to do.

You're very young to be dealing with so many health problems and you have every right to feel pissed off. I can't offer any concrete advice, as I'm going through something similar, but I wish you well, and I will your damned doctor to call back right the hell now!

Lindsay said...

Someone gave me a copy of Big Body Yoga or something like that... but i haven't yet tried it because my body just doesn't want to DO those things. My body looks at yoga mats and laughs.

At least once a week, i see an article come through my news search feeds about how people with fibro benefit from exercise. Which, IMO, is kind of like saying that someone with a sprained ankle would benefit from walking a marathon.

I totally understand your anger. I don't know if i have an answer for you as to how to manage it. If your doctor is being non-available or non-compliant, maybe it's time to find a new one? Which, i know, is WAY easier said than done.

In the meantime: work on your sleep. No matter what it is that's going on with you, sleep is when the body repairs itself. Quantity is important, but quality is what you're lookin for, here. Mattress pads, body pillows, maybe some incense, a hot bath just before bedtime... good times.

Oh, and along that line, something you can do with your bath: toss in a couple of Sleepytime Tea bags. It'll knock you right out. :D

Piffle said...

I also like valerian tea for sleep help, though not for taste!

Chronic pain is a right bear. Do you have a doctor who specializes in it? If not, then there's a very good doc in Edmonds who my husband used.

And here have a curtain you can pull around your mind everytime someone mentions yoga. Now you hear a different favorite beauty product name instead of yoga. Hope it helps.

xoxo Jaimie said...

I don't like yoga very much either girl.

Tiana said...

My body looks at yoga mats and laughs.

LOL mine, too. And I'm exceptionally glad that this post has been made, as well as Lindsay's comment, since I've just realized that I had been feeling bad about myself for not trying harder to get into this yoga thing. Thank you for reminding me that it's completely okay to not do yoga. *headdesk*

orodemniades said...

I didn't learn bellydancing from a class, no, I learned from, ta da, videos! And I do mean, videos, not even dvds. My best rec is for Atea's bellydance dvds, you can find them on ebay for about $20. She explains everything very clearly and the fabulous Fahtiem and Dalia are two of her 'exhibition' dancers. So is Anaheed but I'm not a fan of hers, so, y'know.

Speaking as someone with lower back and trapezius muscle issues, I hear where you're coming from...

Jen said...

I can't do yoga without choking on my tits either. :(

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