Thursday, July 03, 2008

My darlings.

Wow okay so I am really glad I'm not the only one thinking about sex. I love you guys.

Also, TR I am thinking about that and will email you. And TR if you figure out how to put the word speculum in a comment I will probably wanna smooch you. Just sayin.

And okay I would like to tackle the whole fetishization/BBW/FAdmirers thing but not today. But I will swearsies.

Thank you for the links CharmStar on a day when I am not half asleep/dead I am reading those I have them bookmarked.

And you my shy anonymous omnisexual pervert. Those are all things I have plans to talk about.

And last but not least you other anonymous darling.


Now you probably didn't realize it when you asked but you hit my DING brain button because see, I have long held dreams of being your homie go to girl (think of people like Tristan Taormino, Annie Sprinkle, Carol Queen, Violet Blue, Susie Bright, Dr. Ruth, all my heroines) to ask all your sexy times questions.

I squee'd.

And okay so, since I am clearly not the only dirty bird in the house Fatosphere here's what I propose. I am going to make a webform where you can ask me all your pervy questions anonymously. Like Auntie Fatty but, this is all about the sexy times.

When I say ask me anything I mean it.

When it comes to sexuality, I may not be quite the honorary doctor yet but I can tells you things.

I really believe everyone, straight, gay bi, asexual whomever and with whatever genetalia and whatnot you are working with, needs a person they can have this sort of convo with:

You: OH MY GOD SHANNON, so there was penis and it went whoa and then I was all like OMG WTFBBQ!!1!1!!!11 What the hell man?
Me: HELL YEAH. So the penis probably was going whoa because you were all like YEAH YEAH YEAH *this is where you imagine me pumping my fist in the air joyously* so yeah. How was it?

I want to be that homie for everyone. You, your Mom hell even your Gramma if she has a question.

I very seriously believe that our sexuality is and should be one of the most joyful fantastic parts of our lives. And I would like to help people make that happen.

So after the holiday weekend because mine is going to be JAM MOTHERFUCKING packed, I will make the webform available and for my first official uuum...should I actually give this a name?

So yeah contest, come up with a name for my sex advice entries and I will um...well uh...maybe I'll show you my boobs.

Anyway the first one I will answer the all important how to on the fat cowgirl.

So we're all working with the same thing here. Here are the rules.

You can be at any place in the vast continuum between hetero and homo, both all none whatever.
You don't have to give me your name.
You don't have to be embarassed or ashamed because I'm not going to laugh at you.
You DO have to (totally the rules people) after sending me a question, look at yourself in the mirror at least once and say a la Prince, "YOU SEXAY MOTHA FUCKA"
You don't have to tell anyone it was you that asked about butt plugs or whatever.

I will do my best to answer your questions.
I will recommend specific products, toys or whatever as appropriate and no I am not making a commission.

I will also let out some of my own fat related opinions on the ever wonderful topic of sex.

I think that's almost it.

I stayed up way past my bedtime listening to the awesome storm here in Seatown. Huge thunder, I saw heat lightening and then when my head and sinus area was starting to hurt, a downpour of rain that was loud and smelled like heaven. It. Was. Awesome.

Also, I got my new shoes and painted my toenails.

Something I don't understand about womens shoes is often there's not a good little fabric barrier to keep sweaty toes from sliding around in there. I hate that feeling. I fall down enough as it is and don't need extra instability. Uniballer will be fixing that tonight.

Okay I am spent.

It's not even seven and I'm wilty. Note to self, being a grown up does not make it okay to stay up that late and watch it rain.

SO yes again I say I love you folks. I know it's cheesy and if you call me a dirty hippy I might pout but it's true.


Twistie said...

Awesome! I look forward to reading the results. Who knows? I may send in a question sometime. Or not. We'll see how the wind blows and what strikes my fevered brain.

liz said...

Um...howsabout Dear RC (for Reverse Cowgirl)? Since that's what started it all?

Anonymous said...

Woot! I shall have to get thinking on some questions asap! As for names...I can't think of anything either :/ I don't feel I know you well enough to try, if that makes sense, as I only recently started reading.

Should definitely contain the word 'nude' in it though.

RurouniQuare said...

How about Dear. Sexy Homo? How about Sexified Nudemuse? Is a good try worth boobies? :)

Jen said...

I just randomly found your journal throught FA blogroll and I love it. I'm looking forward to the new forum.

Subscribe To My Podcast