Thursday, July 31, 2008


Funny story.

Well not haha funny but in light of what I said about twelve hours ago here you may see the grim humour.

So I finally speak to a human at the doctor of my choice's office. An actual medical type person. I explain what I am having trouble with and what I would like to do.

Here's the convo in a nutshell:

Me: Back pain, knee pain, neck pain stemming from backpain. Digestive problems. Can't sleep, feel crazy and mean, hate everything.

Nurse Practitioner: Well maybe you should try doing some yoga.


NP: We don't have any appointments available for a few weeks. Why don't you start a new exercise program that has some gentle yoga, change your diet and you'll feel better.


NP: *Heaves put upon sigh* We'll call you when an appointment opens up.

Mind you this is while I am walking to work, and feeling my back start to tighten up in preparation for fucking war.

Me:.......(deadpan)great. Thank you.

After I hung up I seriously said out loud into the ether- I Do not want to do any fucking yoga.

A lady standing near me said, "Amen sister".

So I am 90% sure I am finding a new doctor. Which is going to prolong finding relief or help but seriously? I have told the NP more than once I don't fucking like doing yoga for many reasons including my DD boobs and general dislike. I cannot be all relaxing and going OMMMMMMM while I am seething with Hate. Can't do it.

Also, since when is it okay to tell a patient who's complaining of back and joint pain to exercise more sight unseen? They know that I am not one to generally show how much pain I am in. If I actually say out loud that something hurts, than it really fucking hurts a lot. So yeah they can fuck off.

Now with the way my insurance works I will be very lucky if I can find a doctor who looks like someone I can get along with, who will not be a fucking douchebag and is accessible to me, I'm looking at Early Sept. I can deal.

But for FUCK sake man. I don't want to do any fucking yoga, I absolutely don't believe I need to exercise more rigorously right now. So fuck off. NO really fuck off.

However, I can look at the situation and do my little head shake and bitter laugh.

Thank you again for your well wishes it means a lot.

Especially because when I have a serious problem I tend to clam up entirely and maybe one other human being might know that I am unwell. I am working on that.

Okay as I said yesterday all this relates to beauty.

For me, when I am feeling so crappy in general my love of all things beauty related is what saves me from becoming a raging psychopath.

This stems from the fact that I like doing things that make me feel good. That I enjoy. Thus, taking an extra half an hour in the morning to do crazy make up, or exfoliating myself to velvety smoothness makes all of this easier to deal with.

So in light of that how about some beauty?

I am SO excited for the Mac Cult of Cherry collection (see the color story and product photos over at Temptalia), I haven't been this excited about a release in quite a long time.

Now the question is will I have the $$ to get myself a few things. I am really hoping so.

Bloody hell man. Ever run across things on the great big internets that make you just skid to a halt and go, wait wut? WUT D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D: DEAR GOD NO.

Sorry intermission for coffee.

So yeah. Holy fucking wow.

Also Tully's coffee is not made of win. I've been going to a place called uh..Red Express or something. It's a little drive up/walk up place operated by hot girls. And their coffee is motherfucking delicious.

Okay wait what was I saying?

OH beauty right.


In other news.

I'm also looking at travel right now and does it make me weird that I don't want to cruise Orbitz because William Shatner isn't their spokesman anymore?

Something funny. If you look at the more than 100 some odd blogs I subscribe to my trends are easy to follow, Fatties, The Gays, Kinky People and beauty blogs. Since most of you don't know me all that well I actually think that says it all right there.

I'm running out of steam.

Should we do an Ask Shannon anything you damn well please? Not exactly a formal FAQ but since we all don't know each other so well feel free to ask me anything that pops in your head. I won't be mean unless you say something racist. Anything else is fair game.

OH and wait. check me out. This past weekend I got my nerd on and organized and cleaned out my make up like WHOA. I threw out about two plastic grocery bags worth of stuff that isn't good anymore and that I don't use. Then, I did a spreadsheet you can see here. I add things as I find them.

And then I started a spreadsheet of things I want to try out. See that here. This is a highly unusual thing for me but it was totally fun.

I will probably redo the first spreadsheet to look more like my wishlist.

I'm still trying to figure out how to use my Fuji digicam to make some videos. I really want to do some beauty videos because of people like Scandalous Beauty, Enkore, Twixtbetwixt and many others. My youtube subscription is very telling like my blog list. Lots of make up, some gayness, some kink and insanely random music.

And someone bought something (I don't know what) from my Amazon Store. THANK YOU. You whomever you are, you are awesome. Please drop me a line and let me know what you got and how you like it okay? Today I am going to spend some time expanding the book section and this weekend more sex toys and porn. Did you know you could buy porn from Amazon? No really you can and it's awesome.

They have some stuff from the late 70's early 80's ish that I really need to get my hands on because I love them.

And I'm spent.

I love you guys, thank you for reading and caring about me and everything. I really appreciate it.

I would totally lay a smooch on you.

Homo Out.


Sniper said...

So I am 90% sure I am finding a new doctor. Which is going to prolong finding relief or help but seriously?

I hope you find one soon before you end up in emergency. Honestly, yoga? Change in diet? Change to what? Does she assume you've been eating nothing but gummi bears or an all-toadstool diet and that's causing your pain?

Argh! Good luck.

The Rotund said...

I want to comment on the rest of your entry but right now I just have to say: I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THE CULT OF CHERRY.

It's going to rock me.

Piffle said...

Dr. Robert Bayles, 425-881-8813. He usually sees people quickly. I don't know if he's available for new patients or not, but it can't hurt to give him a try. He's in downtown Redmond if you can get there. Not particularly fat-friendly necessarily (recommends low carb diets usually); but knows his stuff and won't make you wait until you lose weight to fix what's wrong now. He's always gotten us to the right specialists when needed too.

Anonymous said...

Oh, dear - I've got a supercrush on you from your blog (don't worry, I won't really stalk you) not only because you seem like an awesome person, but also because most of what you write has me pumping my fist in the air going YOU SAID IT RAH! I feel so badly that you're in pain and suffering. I am unhappy about it. *good healingmojo*. Pain sucks.

Melissa said...

I'm so glad to find out that I'm not the only one who hates yoga. People always give me such strange looks when I say I don't like it.
Also, I live in the Seattle area too. Hi. Nice to meet you. :)

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