Wednesday, August 06, 2008

An Open Letter.

I don't know if it's because there are fucktons of tourists in Seattle right now, or because I am somehow more visible than usual but people who are probably nice and smart folks have said some really fucking stupid things to me lately. So an open letter to middle aged white people, black people, and all the rest of humanity who feels the need to pipe up and talk to yours truly.

Dear Humanity,
Hi, how are you? I'm all right but I think we need to have a little discussion. I'll try to be gentle.

I realize humans, that I am probably not the black lady you're used to seeing wherever you come from. I get that. I have a facial piercing, I wear bright make up, I dress in black 99% of the time, I have a tendency to look pissed off as I'm hustling down the street. And of course I live in Seattle. I get you might be mystified or intrigued or whatever. I get it.

However. Don't be butthurt if I am not immediately impressed and awed by your Vote Obama button. I honestly don't give a tin shit that you're voting for Obama. Voting decisions aren't popularity contests, and they aren't ways to make me think that you must love us black folks. Also, I don't want to hear strangers wax poetic about the majesty and wonder of the good ole US of A because there is a black man in a major election. Don't blow rainbows up my ass about it and I won't want to stomp on your instep. Yes, it's exciting however, there are things to be worried about and this does not herald the end of racism by a long stretch.

Also, please stop with the sidelong staring. Yes I can see you. And when I catch you don't give me a wide eyed OMG look, know you're being rude.

Next thing since we're talking about staring. Black folks, my people, my brethren and sistren I don't want to hear your shit. I don't want to hear you are somehow offended by my reading habits, mode of dress, public presentation, frantic scribbling in a notebook, etc. Is all that necessary? Is there really some point to telling all your friends all about how much you don't approve? Fuck off. No seriously fuck off. You my friends are just as guilty of stereotyping and whole heartedly embracing the bullshit fed to you by the American culture. Being a black woman does not add up to a single experience and like I will tell every other person on the planet, difference does not equal some type of abandonment, denial, or selling out of my color and heritage.

If you want to know no, I am not "too good" or think I'm "above" you by me not speaking to you. My commute time is spent decompressing and enjoying my books. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to talk to anybody at that point. And quite frankly it's none of your goddamn business who I do speak to, where I sit etc.

And not to leave anyone out, it's a tad insulting to sit by someone on the bus, read over their shoulder then move away in a huff. Yes what I'm reading may not be your cup of tea but that is fucking rude.

Also rude, sitting and throwing elbows and ass all over the place. Riding the bus can be enough of a pain in the ass as it is, understand how to not step on, elbow, jam your ass crack in peoples face. And gentleman oh yes you, I am glad you really love your balls, if you are going commando rock on with your bad self however, if you are going to stand on the bus shoving your crotch eye level with your fellow passengers is just unpleasant.

Nobody wants to get to know you that well for forty five minutes. And if you're going to go sans drawers, please keep your bike shorts to yourself, and wear a fucking belt I don't want to see strange balls on my way home.

When you encounter a human like myself, if you want to hit on me please don't say or do any of the following:

1.)Ask me if my lip ring means I'm freaky.
2.)Comment in any way shape or form my supposed sexual prowess based on what I'm wearing or what I'm reading.
3.)Annoy me with stupid questions like (if I've got a book in my hand and headphones on) "Do you like to read?", "Where do you live?" etc.
4.)Tell me that you don't like white women. WTF I don't fucking care.
5.)Ask me if I'm a witch, a voodoo princess, a Baptist or something. It's none of your business.

You want to get my non pissed off attention, say hello. If I don't respond positively walk away. If I do engage in conversation say none of the things mentioned above.

Also, if I never ever have someone call me "exotic" ever again I'll be one thankful little fatass. No really I will.

Other things.

If you want to talk about my hair don't pretend white people that it is just like yours because it's clearly not. And you wanting to say it is, or think it is, doesn't make you some anti racist super hero it makes you irritating. That said, don't automatically discount anything I say when it comes to hair because mine is different than yours.

Additionally, I am not (despite rum ours to the contrary) Divine Empress of all Black People. My experience of being a fat black woman is not just like any one else's and that's just how it is. Frightening I know, but that's reality.

On the face of it humanity, we have an ok relationship. However, a lot of you are on my shitlist. It's a little personal, a little political and a little just plain I don't fucking like you.

I know it's shocking. And someone out there in the big wide world might have hurt feelings but that's not my issue and I just don't care.

My point here is that regardless of what outer trappings you may be displaying, how you're flagging, the color of your skin I am not obligated to like you, talk to you or otherwise let you into the little bubble that makes up my world.

Are we good?

Love Shannon.

Now that's out of the way I've got some work safe and not so work safe links for you. I'll do the work safe ones first and then warn you when there are boobies.

First up, via Needled there is now a tattoo magazine for people of color. I have been reading tattoo magazines for just about 15 years and have always ALWAYS had that sad feeling that there were rarely people of color, and issues for people with color and tattooing were hardly ever covered or discussed. I do take issue that it's "Urban" tattoo, but whatever. That's a whole other story and everything has to start somewhere.

Also, I made a list of top 500 political women bloggers. See part of the list (I'm on there) here. That is pretty awesome I don't think I've ever been on a list like that. At least that I know of.

BFB turned 8 yesterday. That is pretty fucking awesome too. That is pretty cool. Congrats Paul.

Rachel posted a link to a really um, yeah video featuring the asshole behaviour of Ted Nugent and (shit this makes me a sad beasty) Anthony Bourdain. Ted Nugent, I'm not surprised really. But Mr. Bourdain, seriously? For fuck sake. So yeah. No more crotch tinglies and fantasizing about being fed delicious treats from far flung places by Mr. Bourdain.

If you skip any of these links don't skip this one. Julia wrote a really wonderful piece at Fatshionista about being fat and black. I have some thoughts but not today.

Tara announced that there will be a caucas for people of color at NOLOSE this year read all about it here.

Via Men At Large there's a link to a really fantastic photospread of different athletes and their varying body types at the New York Times Magazine. Absolutely worth a looksy.

Curvaceous Dee(okay not so work safe from here on out) wrote a tasty tasty entry about her husband kissing another man. Hotness right there.

My homie Distorria has some really lovely pictures up at her new photoblog. I have been working up to doing something like that myself but I've yet to get my space/set up right to do it.

Audacia Ray
featured sexy blogger Wanton Maleness over at Naked City. I've been reading him for awhile and yes, he is hawt.

Monk does some Navel Gazing. And honestly he was a cutie bigger, and is still pretty hot. And yes, I still totally have a thing for him.

There is an awesome interview with fetish diva of hotness Midori up over at Circlet Press. Tasty. That's all I'm gonna say.


I think that's it actually. Tomorrow beauty, with some pics of my look today because I love it. I'm wearing a very simple Mac Viz a Violet look. I used Viz a Violet all over my lid and a little over my crease, then I used my Aromaleigh mixing medium stuff and made a custom liquid liner out of Mac's Bright fuschia pigment, finished with a buttload of black mascara and some black pencil liner on my lower lashes. Soft pink shiny lips. Which reminds me I need a new better clear glitter lipgloss. I might go with a Wet N wild gel gloss thingy if they still make it.

And I will make Uniballer take a picture of my outfit. I feel very sexy, elegant summertime goth. I'm wearing a pair of very nice Torrid slacks, a pixie hemmed stretchy slinky top with a tie at the cleavage so you can go from a little to a lot, and my trusty Mary Janes. And I'm still rocking my awesome ballerina style bun.

So tomorrow, hair make up and pictures. No post Friday probably because I'm going to a wedding. So sexy times advice soon I promise. I feel a lot better thanks to my aforementioned old school (think P.E) style stretches before bed and prior to heading out the door on my walk to start my workday commute.

Um. Yeah I'm done. Although tonight. I am totally painting my nails silver. And a picture of their current Chanel Vamp knock off hotness.


Homo Out.


Elizabeth said...

There is something...I don't know what. I live near Seattle and I have had more stupid fucks say stupid shit to me in the last month than I've heard in years.

yellowhammer said...

Man, and I got my panties in a wad today because some one wolf-whistled me while I was walking to the health food store.

I'm sorry people put their crotches in your face. That is indeed gross.

April D said...

I get SO irritated when people will go out of their way to try and strike up a conversation with me on public transport. I always have a book; usually music too. Why don't you go bug that dude across the way who is just staring into space and leave me the F alone? And yeah, anyone reading over your shoulder needs a few lessons in common curtesy. Anyways, good open letter!

Cara said...

Public transportation is a fast-track to well-placed misanthropy. Too many humans in too small a space, doing too much stupid shit.

Jessica said...

Yeah, what is with people and their "oh, you're black and a female that doesn't ... 'fit the norms', you MUST be an Obama supporter!"

I'm in a predominantly white college town, and the past two weeks have been full of people walking up to me and flat out assuming my political alignment. I'm aware that Obama and I "match", that's no reason for you to assume I am going to vote for him, and that suddenly we're buddy-buddy because hey look! I can trust you, you're wearing an Obama button. Right.

As far as people staring, I've been meaning to get a disposable camera so I can ask if they want to take a picture with me and have me mail it to them when I get them all developed. Maybe they like my "au native" hairstyle, as I like to call it. I'll have to give them my stylist's number...

Psst, by the way, "selling out"/"acting white"/"not living up to crazy black standards that are based on someone else's standards" is totally frowned upon, didn't you know? You won't fit in and be "properly black" if you keep it up. :p

One more thing, your nail polish is awesome.

Jaimie @ Just Kiss 'N Makeup said...

I love all your posts girl. People can get SO annoying and downright rude sometimes.

Tari said...

On the face of it humanity, we have an ok relationship. However, a lot of you are on my shitlist. It's a little personal, a little political and a little just plain I don't fucking like you.

I know it's shocking. And someone out there in the big wide world might have hurt feelings but that's not my issue and I just don't care.

I have had almost this exact thought. Brilliant post.

Julia said...

I am dying to hear from other POC about my post. Especially if you have criticisms/push back on some of the things I talked about.

DavitaCuttita said...

I really loved the letter to humanity.

I wish I could read my own version to all the people I dislike but "fuck you!!" just has this ring to it that has never let me down. Even in French!

Loverz. Totally loverz this post.

Anonymous said...

No, I am not intending to donate my tailbone-length straight chestnut red hair to Locks of Love. Furthermore, keep your grubby mitts out of it, and those of your kids.

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