Monday, August 18, 2008

Then I said.

As I said Friday I got some really good comments from this entry.

Nuckingfutz said this and I think I should clarify a little what I meant.

Regarding this:

I live daily with these things and it doesn't matter to you? You reject that the color of my skin could have an impact on the experience I am bringing? Is it safe to assume that if you do claim to be color blind at some level you disbelieve that the color of my skin or your own skin for that matter has had a wallop of an impact in how you've been able to live your life?

While I'm sure there are SOME people that take that attitude, as a person who USED to call herself "colorblind", I feel the need to give you another view on the term.

When I did say it (and no, I don't say it anymore; my ignorance has gone), that's not at all what I meant. When I would say that I was colorblind, what I would mean was that I saw a PERSON first, a person OF COLOR second. A person's skin color made no difference to me in dealing with that person AS A PERSON. I made judgements based on attitudes and personalities, not the color of someone's skin. But I never meant that it was unimportant in the larger sense of the word. And I know I'm not the only one. I have been lucky in that the people I have chosen to surround myself with hold much of the same attitudes and ideas as I do.

When I said that, I have in fact experienced that level of "color blindness". While the idea that I could spend my life and experience it as a person (just a regular person) and not have the color of my skin be the first thing that has impacted my life is a great idea. Stellar idea.

But, the fact is that there have been precious few times when I have been able to exist and deal with the world as just a person first.

And my comment mostly stems from when people continually stress the person part to the point where any discussion of how my color impacts my life as a person of color gets shut down. Is that a tad clearer?

I have known a lot of very well meaning people who have flown the "you're a person first" flag but, honestly that just does not cut it with me. It's great to feel that you want to see people as people first but, the fact is their lives and experience are probably not going to reflect that at all. I can speak from my experience that no, it hasn't.

So to answer something either Nuckingfutz or someone else said in comments, I think color blindedness is a great idea.


However, the state of the world being what it is I think it's unrealistic to think that a person of color can live a color blind life. At least not in America.

Before I forget go vote for Scandalous Beauty over at the Black Blogger awards. Also there are a ton of great links to read there as well. Go to it.

While we're discussing black folks I have some things we need to talk about.

In the 31 years that has been my life, I have experienced some things routinely at the hands of other black folks that I call double bullshit and shenanigans on.

Do not lecture me about my hair. You don't know me. You don't know how I may or may not feel about my hair. Don't do it. Ask me about it sure. Ask me why or what for sure. Don't walk up to me like you know me and start proselytizing your particular flavor of hair care.

I say this because at least three times a week someone sees fit to tell me I either need to relax my hair or wear it natural. Seriously, and it's usually not coming from a kind loving sister to sister kind of place and that pisses me the fuck off.

I will say that my hair is motherfucking luxurious and healthy and I love it. I don't give a shit what you think of it.

And for the record, the way I wear my hair is not currently or in the foreseeable future a political statement, a rejection or embracing of anything aside from having some fantastic hair.

Bullshit and shenanigans.


If you would like to talk about hair care and whatnot do not come at me clucking your tongue over my apparent shortfalls. It's fucking rude.

In other news.

I am maid of honor in my RoadHomie Cookie's wedding next month and I am really seriously anxiously awaiting arrival of my dress. I am really anxious that it's not going to fit. I ordered several sizes larger than I normally wear due to hearing horror stories about how small their clothing runs.

I am very worried that the DD's of Doom won't fit.

I also think I might make a special page for all my blog links. I have way more than I have in my little blogroll there and I think it might be handy.

Also I've been uploading some of my writing that I never intend to try and get published to a file sharing site. If you want the links lemme know. Warning there's porn in there.

I am so backdating this. I forgot to publish it yesterday.



nuckingfutz said...

Shannon, actually, that's kind of what I meant when I said that I've learned better. That's why I made sure I emphasized that I USED to think that way, and not any more.

I can't say that I totally understand where you're coming from (being so white I practically glow in the dark), but I do appreciate people like you who talk about it. Some of us ignorant people want to learn NOT to "open mouth, insert foot", and being able to mentally put myself in your place helps with that.

So, seriously, thank you.

DavitaCuttita said...

Ya damn right Coloured people can't be colourblind! Your race matters everywhere, even in Africa. If anybody thinks racist momofukkas have a boundry, newsflash: THEY DON'T.

Seeing the colour of my skin isn't racist. It's called the ability of sight. HOWEVER, thinking negatively of my intellectual, emotional or physical capacity because of it does.

tsk-tsk. when these people gonna learn?

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