Monday, August 04, 2008

Things that are Awesome.

Pain is so so today but I broke my brain earlier while editing some fiction so you get fluff.

So first awesome thing, first I have to tell you a little story so you get the full picture of the awesomeness.

I used to work out at a gym where there were a number of lady bodybuilders. I made fast friends with one lady in particular who we'll call Miss Big Hotness. She gave me workout help and I did her hair and sometimes her make up.

So at some point I confessed that my ultimate goal was to look like Linda Hamilton, I wanted to be all sorts of GRR. Or at least rock some Janet style abs. At the time I was committed. Very serious.

So she watched me for a couple of months, and I got so frustrated. Even with expert advice, an insane workout schedule and diet I never managed to get more than a 2 pack while flexing so hard I thought I'd fart. I was devastated.

No I don't think you understand I was HEARTBROKEN. I rarely ever lose my shit in public but I remember after a particularly hard workout I was in the locker room staring at my naked self in the full length mirror crying my eyes out. And when my friend Miss Big Hotness found me, I jabbed myself in the stomach and moaned for awhile about my blubber.

She was the first person who ever gave it to me straight. She told me (gently) that maybe my body was just not cut out to look like that. She told me that not everyone who worked out like I did and ate the way I did was going to become the cut muscled hotness.

My doctor didn't tell me that at the time, nobody who worked at the gym told me that. My big gorgeous body builder lady friend did. And she comforted me while I worked it out in my head.

Fast forward a few months and she and I were out to dinner together, she asked me probably the most random strange question I've ever heard in my life. A recreation of the convo:

Miss Big Hotness: So I need to ask you for a really personal favor.

Me: Sure.

Her: I'd like to take polaroids of your boobs to my plastic surgeon. I want my implants to look just like your boobs.

Me: *blink...blink...blink*

So first I didn't even know that was possible, second as much as many people have loved and admired my boobies she was the first to tell me she wanted replicas. We talked about it more and she told me that because of her extremely low body fat and high muscle, she had pretty much lost the boobies she'd had and she missed them. Also she'd discovered that her boobs sans enough body fat to fill them were very asymmetrical and it bothered her a lot.

She also told me that her self consciousness about it had impacted her sexual relationship with her husband because she had become too embarassed to have sex naked. Also he was absolutely not on board with her getting fake boobies but, wouldn't stop her if it would make her happy.

From my angle, she had the most amazing body ever. I'd seen her naked plenty and hadn't even noticed that her boobs were different sizes.

We talked about it a lot and I wound up just going with her to her plastic surgeons office. The surgeon complimented my boobs which was awesome. He checked out the scars from my reduction and come to find out he'd read the paper my doctor wrote on my case. He took pictures, did some doctory figuring and about two months later my friend had her new boobies.

Okay so fast forward about um..nine years now and I opened an old email address and hot damn if there wasn't an email from Ms Hot Bigness herself. She's retired from body building, doing very well and she's very happy with her hubby. AND she sent topless pictures because I never got to see her new boobies after they'd healed up totally.

I will be goddamned if hers don't look almost exactly like mine except a little smaller and milk pale with pink nipples instead of chocolatey brown with dark chocolate nipples.

I have to say it is awesome but very weird to see your own boobs on another person.

However it was pretty awesome.

Other awesome things.

Also awesome, CurvaceousDee. I've been reading her for a month or two and must say I've got a little girlcrush. No really I do. Srsly.

I've also been reading M. Christian's Blog lately. And I have to FULLY blame at least one of the erotic stories I wrote (and had that one published) on Mr. Christian. Also, have SUCH a fucking literary crush on him. It's Not. Even. Funny.

While I'm talking about girlcrushes here. I might as well just keep tossing links at you.

Still totally have a thing for Monk.

Audacia Ray wants to know what your favorite porno is. If you're too shy to comment over at Naked City tell me, I promise not to tell. And in case you're wondering my favorite is "How To Fuck in HighHeels." From Fatale Media.

Mm yeah that is my favorite.

Thank you local folks for the doc suggestions. I think (toes crossed) I found one in the Highline area where I live. Hopefully when she gets back from holiday I can go see her. Not having to travel by bus for an hour to get to the doc would be awesome.

And oh I do on occasion review fragrences. I will probably do that sometime this week I got myself some new BPAL and some other stuff I've been wearing.

Tomorrow, is all about beauty. I will be putting on my beauty editor hat and talk about some new stuff I've got.


And if the meds hold out sexy times advice on Weds.

I think that's about all.

Homo Out.


Anonymous said...

Story of the month, that booby story was.

And fucking in high-heels? DO people do that anyway? Um...what?

Sexiness confuses me, that's why my cooter's only for peeing. *ahem*

M.Christian said...

Thanks for the great comment (blush)! Send me something for my Frequently Felt blog ... please!

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