Friday, September 19, 2008

A little fluffy and a little random.

Vacation countdown is ON.

So awesome things right this moment. I am wearing bright red liquid liner. And I think I love it. I wasn't so sure when I put it on but I do in fact LOVE it.

Also loving my faux stained red lips. I was not 100% with the Sephora #94 (also those are on sale right now) it's a bit more of a tomato-y red than I'd thought when I bought it and straight out of the tube it looks like straight up ass on me.

So instead I apply it in little dabs on my lips with a fingertip. Voila instant ruddy stained lips. Doesn't last like a traditional stain but it's pretty. And that lipstick has a very nice slight gloss to it.

Moving along.
TR has had some really great entries this week about clothes.

Since I started dressing myself, there have always been people who've given me the rules about fashion, what to wear, and have been at times appalled by my wardrobe choices.

Among the complaints about my wardrobe, too much black, too much cleavage, too much too much too much. My response is usually fairly amused.

Once I settled in my odd eclectic and occasionally absurd aesthetic I stopped paying overmuch attention to the rules, the expectations and whatnot. I just don't care enough to make an issue of it with myself.

Personally I see a lot of fashions that do not go with my personal aesthetic and that's okay. I believe that one should rock on with ones bad self and do what you like.

Next thing.

What are some of your favorite compliments to give or get?

I have a long standing love of complimenting people. Often strangers because in my commute I often see people who just look upset or unhappy. And sometimes a random stranger saying something nice to you can be just the thing.

There are good and not so good ways of doing this.

For instance, this actually happened to me. While I was waiting at the bus stop awhile back after work.

Southern Gent tourist: Excuse me can you tell me where I can find a cup of coffee this late?

Me: Go about three blocks up and you can stop in at that place called Minnie's on the corner. Or you can head straight up that way, hang a right at the light and go over to the Mecca.

Southern Gent Tourist: *Starts to walk away after saying thank you, pauses and turns to say* You have got such a beautiful speaking voice. You should do voice work.

Then he smiled and walked away.

That is a nice thing.

He was sweet and polite and charming. The Southern Gent Trifecta as far as I'm concerned. And yes, I do have a soft spot for older Southern Gentlemen. I do not mind when they hold open a door and when I say thank you they respond, "no problem darlin/hon/etc" I am woman enough to admit it makes me giggle and feel charmed.

Equally awesome.

I saw a very pregnant lady looking really not comfortable nor happy, I am thinking her feet hurt the other day.

Me: Oh you look so pretty. That sweater looks nice on you.

She was wearing a really cute pink cardigan over a sunny yellow dress. She smiled and blushed (which was about the cutest thing ever) also I discovered she didn't speak very much English.

Her: Oh oh thank you.

We smiled at each other, she had awesome dimples. When she got her on her bus she was still smiling and we waved at each other.

This is the kind of thing I love.

Compliment someone on their shoes, their hair, their purse, their awesomeness in general. Be nice, be genuine and not overly creepy (as in no long up and down look before issuing said compliment) and watch how easy it is to make someone smile.

Now for some link salad.

Via Beauty and the Blog I have seen and subsequently fallen for Kat VonD's black lipgloss. Like Ms. VonD I am a lover of dark lips and as I mentioned before HELLS TO THE YEAH. I'm a little sad it doesn't look darker but I bet that would look banging over some darker plummy lipstick.

Also on various blogs I found out that Ellen is going to be a CoverGirl. On some queer blogs I've seen folks questioning her choice but I think it's fucking fantastic. CoverGirl is billed as clean, fresh, pretty. And Ellen is just that. Also HELLO out married lesbian as a CoverGirl. I think that is beautiful. Also beautiful is the look Ellen is working in that picture. Just goes to show that even if you aren't a make up obsessed diva like I am, CoverGirl is for you too so HELL TO THE YEAH.

Also over at Doe Deere I entered the Must-Be-Red contest. Vote for Shannon's lips cause contests are cool. You can also click on my comment to see those red lips (my naked lips in Mac's So Scarlet).

To celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day check out this post over at Needled featuring Pirate themed ink.

OH regarding my entry yesterday.

Um you guys are awesome.

Also I forgot to mention that I have found a few size friendly kinky things on the internets. But the thing that makes it difficult for me is the necessity of having them be very very private because of how people are.

And yes I know I've talked about talking about the whole BBW thing, I've been doing some research so I can make my point succinctly. So yeah it's happening just not super quickly because I want to do it in a way that's fitting.

I was watching a fat girl video on youtube and went against my usual policy of reading comments.

Okay fat hating people, let me show you where you run your points off of the rails.

1.) Shaming, hating, and otherwise being a complete asshole is not the way to get a point across. If you "care" so much for another persons well being or health, screaming about how they are "OMG SO OBESE YOUS GUNNA DIE FATASS" does not indicate caring. All it does indicate is that you probably have some emotional problems or have a bad case of Internet Tough Guy syndrome. And honestly, a lot of people aren't going to be impressed they are likely to think you're just a dumbass.

2.) Non sequitur statements and arguments. Let's take known trollish person in the FA world, "Fat Acceptance" who left this comment on the entry regarding the recent fuckery here at Nudiemuse world. Now everyone else was talking about racism, and being really supportive and awesome to me and each other and Fat Acceptance comes up with this:

Fat Acceptance has left a new comment on your post "Racism on the internet? Reading comprehension what...":

I am SHOCKED, SHOCKED that some members of the fatosphere are pathetic whiners. SUPRISE SUPRISE! The fatosphere is nothing but a bunch op pathetic whiners who are almost exclusively overeducated in a field that has little commercial value and have graduated from "I wish somebody would do something about how fat I am!" to " FAT IS NOT A CHOICE" and "Even a 500 pound person is healthy, fit and eats no mere than any thin person; thy are fat due to their genetic setpoint!" I love the fatosphere!


Now as I said in the follow up entry I would have taken this more seriously if it had in any way had to do with what I'm talking about.

I've seen (as in being snarked at that one forum I can't recall the name of) most vehement anti FA people pick and choose things that fit their world view of fat people.

People somehow got that I don't exercise nor care to from my entry titled "I Hate Yoga".

For people who are supposedly superior to me in my fatness, if you read that entry nowhere do I say anything about hating exercise. No I just fucking hate yoga.

This anti-FA, Fat hating people is one of those spots you run it off the rails. If you cannot or refuse to actually pay attention to the context of what's going on, your arguments are going to sound stupid frankly.

For instance, I do not like the colors pink and brown together. Let's say someone is talking about how much they love sparklers and I come along and say,

"How can you LIKE BROWN AND PINK TOGETHER YOU FUCKING BROWN AND PINK LOVING STUPIDHEAD."

Would it be a stretch to say that I wouldn't be hurt if people didn't take me seriously?

3.) Along this same vein, using media misrepresentation as gospel. As in wielding BMI as proof of apparent sudden death. Or refusing to acknowledge or understand that weight alone is not a factor in a lot of health problems. Also as Anti FA folks are fond of saying, "you DENY OBESITY RELATED ILLNESS THEREFORE YER DUMB".

If this goes on in the Fatosphere please point it out.

What I see more often is a questioning of using weight as a single indicator of illness. There are many illnesses that are often exacerbated by being fat, and many that have nothing to do with being fat.

Something that Anti FA and Fat Hating people often misintepret I think is that FA advocates don't want fat to be Invisible or for people. They want to be given adequate health care. And that includes, doctors taking diagnosis seriously instead of saying well lose however many pounds.

Weightloss is not a cure all. It never has been and never will be.

I personally would like to see doctors and other trusted health professionals stop pushing things like WLS when it is not appropriate nor wanted. I would like to see Health professionals not harass, ignore or otherwise make peoples lives worse. That goes for fat people, poor people, women, people of color etc.

5.) Using "because you're fat" as the crux of your argument is a waste of time. When someone has pain (phsycial or emotional), when someone is having a bad day, when someone is treated badly repeating ad nauseum the obvious does nothing for nobody.

The bottom line is this.

The Anti FA trolls, the Fat haters, the closet racists, the gay haters all have the same things in common to me. No matter what you're against running around being a dick just to be a dick doesn't make your points valid.

Personally, my way of dealing with it is just not.

If the person talking to or about me behaves in any of the above ways they are off my radar for the most part. I know a lot of people who blog think about these things and that's my two cents.

It's also part of why I don't delete comments and keep them ALL in my email.

Further, I can't really take someone seriously who posts from a fake or anonymous account if they are just trolling or working out their own emotional problems by crapping on other peoples lawns so to speak.

So my fat homies that's what I do. And that's how I deal.

I think I'm done.

I might post again over the weekend to work out my pre-vacay jitters because OMG OMG OMG I have to fly and I am terrified of flying. For reals.

I will probably be doing some twittering too. See that here.

So leave me more fabulous comments, also feel free to show me your boobs. Or butts or balls.

Homo Out.

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7 comments:

peggynature said...

Compliments are sticky subject with me, but I agree that the one you received from the Southern Gentleman was very sweet, very respectful.

I get annoyed when people comment on my appearance, though. This is probably a weird thing, but I feel like I wish it didn't matter so damn much how I look. I get especially annoyed with variants of "You are pretty/beautiful/nice-looking" etc. Because I feel like those play into some kind of hierarchy whereby some people are deemed beautiful and others are not. And I feel like beauty is truly subjective and not global. It's all well and good if someone finds me attractive, but I'd honestly rather be thought of (and treated) as a human, rather than as Pretty Girl #4534857. I realize I am attractive by several traditional parameters (except for the fat thing), but I also know that for several years, before I started dressing the way I like and doing my hair certain ways, people ignored me completely. People even told me I was ugly. And my features have not material changed in the interim, so I know that people are reacting more to flattering, status-relevant add-ons to my appearance than they are to my actual appearance. And not at all to my personality.

Every night I come home and take off/wash off all the stuff that makes me "beautiful" -- and my husband still finds me attractive. I wish everyone could be more like that.

I don't mind it when compliments are specific -- when they touch on the thing people are ACTUALLY reacting to, like your makeup, your sense of style, a shirt, your voice, whatever. But when people can't articulate that, they fall back on stuff like "WOW YOU ARE GOOD-LOOKING" which seems really ignorant to me. I know they're trying to be nice, but...I can't help but think that it's just a visceral reaction to some kind of class-indicator, and that people in general are classist assholes.

(And I am not AT ALL neurotic, paranoid, or slightly drunk on tasty beer.)

Long-time reader, first-time commenter, nudiemuse. You have my warmest internetual affections. Thanks for letting me ramble incoherently :)

Twistie said...

Funnily enough, I just posted this morning over at Manolo for the Big Girl about TR's wonderful articles on personal style. I'd been thinking about the subject a lot because I'd had several makeover shows advertised in my face repeatedly and then ran across Nina Garcia's latest tome on the hundred different things each and every woman of style needs in her wardrobe. I flipped a few pages, flipped my lid, and was delighted to come home to see that TR was so avidly and so eloquently singing my song.

As God is my witness, I will never own a little black dress again! I don't do little. I don't do black. These are no more for me than pastel twinsets are. I need my Boho frills and I need my down to earth henleys and jeans. I need my bright colors that light up my face and make my hair look shinier. I don't need heels that I fall off of to be fabulous. I just need the right kind of flats and some awesome boots.

I love that you do Goth and TR does industrial glam and that I do brightly colored Hippy/Romantic, and that all three of us look freaking amazing, because we're dressing for our bodies, our coloring, our personalities, and our specific needs.

Also? There's nothing like a really good compliment given or received to brighten the day.

Nina Garcia would probably have kittens if she knew that the day a phone company van came screeching to a halt and a terribly handsome man jumped out because he felt he needed to meet me...I happened to be wearing an ankle-length crushed velvet blue skirt, a purple suede Highwayman's coat, a patchwork velvet scarf tied around my throat like an ascot, tapestry boots with red roses and gold scrolls on a black background, and a purple canvas top hat with a pattern of gold starbursts.

I did talk with the guy for a minute. When I started to leave, he called after me 'are you married?' when I said yes, he said 'tell him from me he's a lucky man.'

It's been a year and a half, and I still get blushy and happy when I think of it.

In a little black dress, nobody notices me because I'm not being me. In a cacophony of sumptuous fabrics, bright colors, and artsy details, I'm me. And that's when I get noticed. And that's when I get appreciated. And that's what feels good.

Twistie said...

Damn! I just realized that I forgot to comment on Ellen the Cover Girl. I'm all for it! Not only is it great to see an out lesbian being appreciated for her down to earth style of pretty, I love the fact that she's not a flavor-of-the-month twentysomething, but a mature woman who has her own very personal style.

Ellen is - in my not so humble opinion - the exemplar of easy, breezy, and beautiful. The fact that at least one cosmetics company has noticed that you don't have to be a bland, fill in the blanks young thing to hawk makeup (as opposed to skin 'treatments' or hair color) makes me tremendously happy.

Dance on, Ellen!

Sniper said...

My "favourite" fucked-up comment was one I recently read on Feministing - yet another blog I've had to drop becausde of The Hate. It said "MORBID OBESITY MEANS YOU'RE DYING" in, seriously, all caps. I'm "morbidly" obese and I just got back from a walking my dog in the park. I'm not commenting from beyond the grave, as far as I know. It is truly amazing how presumptuous and ill-informed people can be.

DiosaNegra1967 said...

i love giving (sincere) compliments....i abhor people who just throw compliments around...

and the whole ellen as a cover girl? love it! i've not gotten to some of the LGBT blogs on this...but i'm sure someone is gonna challenger her "butch" cred over this..... *shaking my head*

nudie....why u gotta go and mention kat von d? i've been trying to stay outta my local sephora....now, i've no choice....

sniper: a lot of peeps are "checking out" of feministing due to the constant trollery! damn shame, too...

twistie: i'm in your closet, stealing your wardrobe....LOL, that's one of the great things about fall...velvet, velvet, velvet!!! have you ever checked out a site called "raspberry beret"? they've got some killer velvet piano coats and other stuff that's swoonworthy!

Twistie said...

DiosaNegra1967, I have Raspberry Beret bookmarked and have every intention of spending an entire paycheck there one day. Gypsy Moon is another great one for velvets and gloriously floaty, artsy clothes. They don't come cheap, but they sure are gorgeous.

Lindsay said...

Totally not post-related...

Yesterday i found myself thinking, "Hey, Ms Nudemuse hasn't posted in a few days, and she normally posts pretty frequently... i hope she's okay."

And then i remembered you were on vay-cay! YAY VAY-CAY! I hope you're having a blast, and that the flying wasn't too hideous. :)

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