Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Right in your pants.

Welcome my darlings to my very first ever sex toy review.

I know something virgin about me, it's shocking.

So here we go.

I picked out prostate massager, from Eden Fantasy's, which says on the package it's a prostate stimulator but I'll say more about that later.

I chose it because I have never owned a waterproof sex toy (shockingly) and I liked the picture.

Let me say first and foremost and please pay attention to this bit if nothing else, I do not recommend this one as a butt toy, either for boys or girls. If you want a butt toy make sure you find something with a flared base or something with a handle, or some other thing at the bottom to make sure you don't get over excited and lose the toy in the great unknown because it's been known to happen.

First impression- looking at it in the package it looks pretty cool. The stimulator portion looked more hooked than I thought it would be but it looked neat. Black, sleek, stylish. I got it out of the packaging and that is where my first moment of WTF is this?

The vibe is covered in a waterproof skin of some sort that I don't like the feel of. It's one of those fingers to brain signals that um, I don't know how much I like this. I got over that quickly enough and took it apart to figure out what to do with it. It runs on a single AA battery which is good because there are tons of those around our house.

I got the battery in and discovered that it's push button operated which I think is pretty cool. I have small hands and sometimes don't like having to stop what I'm doing in order to change my vibrator speed. I just don't dig it. So the push button is really good for me.

It runs on two speeds, if you like really hard vibrating toys this might not do it for you but I liked the lower setting a lot. So into the tub I got. It is waterproof. However if you've never used a vibrator in the tub the sound waves bouncing around in the water can take some getting used to. I didn't really mind it so much.

But I did discover why I don't masturbate in the tub as a habit, at least not since I was a kid. I like to spread 'em and have myself, I don't like being all contorted trying to hit the right spot. I cannot climax that way alone or with a partner. Never have been able to.

The tip of this toy is firm but, moves around a lot if you use a lot of pressure. And insertion sans lube in the tub was a no go for me.

As far as using this occasionally as a clit tickler I think it works beautifully. The curve of the tip if I get it placed right curls right under the shaft of my clit at the bottom, that's a nice thing. But I wouldn't pay that much for that I'd just get another pocket rocket. I will probably try it again in bed or on the floor where I can be more comfortable all the way around.

Now for those looking for (to give or just have) some prostate stimulation find another toy.

First of all, the angle of the head would make it difficult for a man who's not entirely certain where his prostate is to begin with, to find it. Also, if you're by yourself trying to get it inserted properly with the tip going the right way would be difficult. This toy doesn't have any orienting markers.

By this I mean there's no flat spot, or spot with something raised for your fingers to tell you you're on the right track. Minus points.

Also it has no base.

And please, my loves my darlings please do not put things in your butt if the end is rounded like this. Please. Even with a partner, please don't do this. Nobody wants to interrupt a night of lovin' to go to the ER or to fish a toy out of their butt.

Gentlemen, if you want some prostate massaging action and you're with a partner I would suggest something more like this. It has a good sized base, and has a vibrating bullet. That looks like it would be far more awesome for you or a partners booty.

And as a note here.

Before anyone starts looking at their men, or men they know in suspicion of being teh GAY here's some info.

All men, gay straight bi whatever have something called a prostate gland. And while this part does have some awesome biological functions, it also when massages, pressed or otherwise stimulating can, in effect blow a mans spine out the top of his head when he orgasms.

And everyone loves a good orgasm. So if your man, or whatever man wants something in his butt it does not mean he's turned suddenly gay and the next thing you know he's cruising for some deep dicking from some dude. It just means he has discovered his BOOM button as one man I know used to call it. And this is good and yes normal and enjoyable for everybody.

It's only gay if it involves more than one cock and I'm not talking about a strap on.

Are we on the same page?


Now some tips about getting into butt play.

You need supplies for this. I really don't think anal pleasure is something you wanna do on the spur of the moment. This info is from experience and is handy for whatever version of sex you're doing. Gay, straight, bi, group, solo whatever.

First you need lube. Do not be afraid of the lube. Use whatever kind you like. Keep it on hand and be liberal with it.
Clean butthole. If you want to get into anal play I highly suggest while you're bathing start getting into running your fingers around in the area and even a little bit inside. It can make things easier and you can get used to having someone touching you there.
Gloves. Not the yellow dishwashing gloves. But latex or latex free gloves. Safety first people. And the texture of these kinds of gloves can make getting in there a little easier going.
Rubbers for your toys or for your penis.
Deep breathing.
And clear communication.

If you are getting your butt played with, don't be shy about telling your partner to slow down, or speed up, or don't move or whatever.
If you re playing with someone's butt, listen attentively. Be nice. Rub their lower back, remind your partner to breathe. Be their very own cheerleading section.

Do you need further instruction?

Let me take a moment go to and pick up Bend Over Boyfriend and Bend Over Boyfriend 2 if you are a boy girl couple or don't mind seeing some boy girl action. I have seen a lot of anal sex porn, I have read a lot about anal sex and have done some butthole invading of my own but, Bend Over Boyfriend has seriously got the best no nonsense visual instruction ever. Also the people in them aren't porn stars. They look like they could be your neighbors which I also appreciate.

The first one is more instruction, the second one is more eye candy. Both are really really hot.

To sum this up, that toy was not made of butt area or clit area super win. I will use it again, probably with Uniballer as a clit stimulator if any of my other ones are out of reach.

That said, go poke around at Eden Fantasy's, thanks to them and to AAG for this opportunity. The website is very user friendly, lots and lots of product reviews, there is a blog all sorts of adult naked solo or group fun times things. And I really appreciate having the chance to do this review for them.

Also I really appreciate the chance to maybe pass along good info. This is awesome.

Stay tuned, I have some orgasm questions to answer that I needed to do some research for. Also I am going to start giving you guys some awesome sex blog links and reviews because I read a ton of them and like to share.

That's all.

Remember folks, love the one who loves you the most. I give you the green light to masturbate until you pass out. Bring a friend and remember to keep a glass of water handy.

Homo Out.


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