Tuesday, October 21, 2008

But no wait what?

Okay I'm not quite as well as I thought I was.

I'm working 6 days this week and I'm already tuckered out.

But in awesome news I finally did a post over at Make up Chicken. Go look.

Not so awesome is that Uniballer bought be a bag full of hair toys and I frigging broke one. Rather my hair ate it.

It was this cute circle ponytail thingy and my hair went OM NOMNOM NOM HA try again bitch.

That is a convo that happens between me and my hair quite often. It's not uber long yet but it is very very thick and likes to NOM decorations it finds lacking.

So the stuff that's not big enough I might gather up and make a wee goodybag for someone with hair not as thick as mine.

In odd news I think I've lost another five or so pounds. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. I bought jeans at the thrift store (which I'll post the OOTD featuring all thrifted stuff when Uniballer gets the pics off of the camera) that were a smidge too tight when I bought them, and today they are looser than they should be.

I am also 5 precious dollars and two days away from getting new shoes. They are Dansko's on Ebay and no I'm not showing them because I'm paranoid and I don't want to get bid sniped. Do you have any idea how truly awesome for me it would be to have amazing quality shoes for non rainy winter days?

The nicest shoes I own currently are my knee high burgundy doc marten boots. I bought them a couple of years ago with money I'd saved for about three months all together and I just happened on a HUGE blowout sale and got them for about 80 bucks with shipping.

When you are poor, things that are seemingly simple like shoes you like that don't let your feet get wet, last and are comfortable is a huge deal. More so when you have something really quality within your grasp.

I am still on the hunt for one or two more pairs of pants. My want is pretty simple but apparently hard to fulfill. Bootcut plain black pants that are not jeans.

No ridiculously low rise because I don't like my ass crack hanging out.

No hugely high rise because I hate waistbands digging into my fucking diaphragm.

I will probably make another thrift store run at our local Value Village because they had some really nice stuff I just didn't feel like trying on because it was hot and crowded in there.

I am thinking about giving some Old Navy pants I saw a whirl. But I am unsure about the rise. If it's as low as I think it might be, I will need a size up I think. But then they will be too big in the hips. And quote possibly the ass.

The only other thing I absolutely need right now is new glasses.

I've been wearing contacts for years and I'm kind of over it for now. I found some black framed vaguely retro glasses online that I am going to order as soon as the fax of my rx comes in.

After those things are done I will probably still cruise for shirts because I don't think you can ever really have enough. And continue my eagle eye for hot deals on the internets.

I was just reading one of those "OMG MY SPOUSE TO BE IS FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT NOW" things and wow.

What almost always makes me laugh and shake my head is that the first thing out of people's mouths is "but I'm not attracted/don't want sex from them/etc" then the oh yeah and I worry about their health too.

This is one of those things that I tend to wonder (and how often to people answer truly honestly) how concerned and worried about someone's health you are if the first thing that pops out of your mouth is an issue with their appearance?

Notice here I'm not saying it's right or wrong or whatever. I'm sure someone in the big blue nowhere will get that, but that's not my issue here. I don't pretend to put a label on other peoples emotion.

What I wonder about is how honest people are about these things?

I've heard people say some things on this issue that astound me.

A girl I was friends with for a very long time was a long sufferer of disordered eating. She met a guy when she was quite ill and doing a lot of restricting and binging via exercise, when she decided to get healthy she did yes gain a lot of weight.

At first boyfriend was happy because she was recovered but, told me on numerous occasions that he didn't like how big she'd gotten.

It got to the point that he was getting frankly mean and abusive.

I don't think that's ok.

Nor do I think that badgering, belittling or generally being cruel to someone you supposedly love is in fact a loving thing to do.

I know it's far more difficult to be kind and make a serious effort to be mindful about the effects of your words on your loved ones.

What advice would I give?

I would ask first that original question I had. Is it looks or health? Then I'd advise taking some time to as the saying goes get your mind right.

The fact is even if you are married to someone they don't owe it to you to remain exactly the same. Not what people want to hear but it's the truth.

Aside from that if someone is already having self esteem issues, being a dick isn't going to help the situation. No matter how you frame it, tough love, being firm or what have you. Chances are whatever is going on with your loved one is going to get worse if you're an ass about it.

Rather than focusing on OMG YER FAT NOW why not ask if your loved one is ok? Are they happy? If you love someone and are really worried why not bring down the mean a notch and just say, I love you and I'm really worried about you?

None of these things is a guarantee that you will get the answer you might want. If your spouse or lover is perfectly happy the way they are, you'll have to deal with it. You might be pissed off but why be pissed about someone loving themselves?

I dunno.

Maybe I'm talking out of my ass.

Probably am because I personally have never taken issue with a lover or partners body that way and can't imagine demanding that they change their appearance to suit my whims. That just seems weird to me. It's just not my bag baby.

If I am in love with someone, I am in it to win it you know? Your ass got fat? Awesome let me smack it. Lose the booty? Awesome let me smack it.

this goes along with my whole I don't have a type thing. I like all kinds of types. I have been into som pale tall skinny no boob having ladies. I've been into some tall not so pale wee tiny ass having dudes.

In my world view it's all good.

I think I'm done.

Tired now.

I got tagged for that 7 random things meme but I'll do it tomorrow because I have actual stories for you.

Okay laters hotnesses.

Homo Out.



The Head Girl of Slytherin said...

I had a boyfriend when I was suffering from my Eating Disorder some years ago who loved my "flat belly" and pokey-out hips. He made such a big deal out of how small I was, that it just made me worse. When I told him, finally, he was very supportive and was very happy when I started on the road to recovery. But a year later and 2 stone heavier, he had stopped finding me attractive and consequently, we broke up. Now I am 4 stone heavier than my lowest weight, curvy on the side of big, but happy.

And his new skinny girlfriend seems to think it's OK to post rude comments about my size on my blog.


The strange things people do.

Love your blog by the way, just recently found it and linked to you straight away :)

Kindest regards xxxx

Twistie said...

//Aside from that if someone is already having self esteem issues, being a dick isn't going to help the situation. No matter how you frame it, tough love, being firm or what have you. Chances are whatever is going on with your loved one is going to get worse if you're an ass about it.//

I love waking up and seeing truth in bright colors while I'm having my morning java. It's all sparkly and happy-making.

My beloved has been with me through quite literally thick and thin. He's been with me through abrupt changes in interests and careers, through horrible depression and brilliant joy and everything in between. No matter what, he's been nothing but supportive and loving, even when I had to explore some things that he couldn't understand, let alone appreciate.

And I've been with him through the best and the worst of his times, and supported him even when I didn't get where he needed to go.

Sometimes love is recognizing that the other person needs to go somewhere you can't follow for a while, and choosing to be there when they get back.

Love never means behaving like a giant douchebag.

Anonymous said...

"If I am in love with someone, I am in it to win it you know? Your ass got fat? Awesome let me smack it. Lose the booty? Awesome let me smack it."

This made me spit out my water while laughing in glee. :D

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