Sunday, October 19, 2008

I live.

So I was sick and now I'm better. It started with what I thought was an allergy thing that turned into a nose/ear/throat thing.

First thing.

After a "friend" who I am deciding about speaking to again read my entry from last week Revelatory. Her first impulse was one of those back handed "Oh that's sooooo neat you can love yourself." Implying of course that it's somehow weird and astonishing that I do in fact love my fatass.

Then after me telling her I really wasn't in the mood to discuss it with her because I didn't feel well she sends me this email telling me all about how much better I'll feel and how much happier and wonderful I'll be if I go on her Drink Unicorn Pee and Snort Glitter diet.

To be fair before I ripped her an electronic new one I went and did some reading about her apparent miracle diet.

Yeah.

It was quite simply starve yourself, drink some shit, starve some more, drink some more shit and presto chango you are instantly feeling wonderful and beautiful yadda yadda.

I told her quite pointedly that I a.) am not interested in starving myself because I've been there done that, having blood sugar crashes makes me really angry and b.) because I am fine the way I am. I also reminded her not so gently that if she bought the information she misspent her money and that the same information and some information about the dangers of this miracle diet are all over the internet. And I am just not into it.

As I told her.

If you're an asshole when you're fat chances are you'll still be an asshole when your not. Just saying.

I really hate when I am polite about my disinterest in bashing my body, losing weight etc and people respond with that kind of blind BUT I KNOW BETTER attitude.

I am similarly disinterested in people telling me that anything that might be wrong with me on a given day is because I am fat.

I did not get the flu because I'm fat. I got it because people don't cover their mouths when they cough in my vicinity and someone got their fucking germs on me.

Clearly I am still a little aggro today because my ears are still plugged up and because people get on my fucking nerves.

Yes more FBombs dropped.

Okay to mitigate some of my aggro some links shall we? This is mostly some rampant girl love. And not entirely safe for work.

Essin 'Em. I have been reading her for awhile and I dig her. A lot.

I have probably mentioned this lady as well but I love me some Audacia Ray. I enjoy her writing style and the things she talks about. Always a bright spot in my reader.

I also love me some Alison Tyler. She frequently makes me giggle and who doesn't love that? Also some of her books=win.

Tasty Trixie. She makes porn, she has a hot lady and her boobs look kind of like mine in a different color. What more could I ask for?

I also enjoy BelleDame a lot.

And some local love FatGirl Femme. She has fabulous taste in shoes and as soon as my schedule is not made of flu virus or fail she will be my homie. Also if I might say so girl has some fabulous legs. Just sayin.

And last but not least Curvaceous Dee. One of my commenters turned me onto her blog and I would like to put my face on her boobs and talk about skin. I know don't ask.

While I'm talking about Ms. Dee, I must say that she's one of the reasons I've been considering doing some HNT posts. Mine will probably be of the less explicit variety. I don't think I'm quite ready for flashing my nipples and/or crotchal area on the intertubes.

Although I will tell you guys a secret I do know that there is at least one totally topless picture of me on the internet. There is also at least two of my panty covered (lace edged red mesh panties over fishnets if you want details) of me on the internet as well.

Very occasionally I get a shocked email from a friend saying they just randomly found my boobs on google and it makes me giggle.

Uh.

Oh do you have links to recommend to me? I do love reading blogs. I love seeing a slice into a life that isn't my own.

Oi now if you'll excuse me, my sinus area is filling with grossness and I need to get it out and take some daytime drugs.

Homo Out.

OH PS...I believe you know who you are but you're getting a book. pfunkem baby send me your snail mail address with the ask nudiemuse button and you will be getting some mail next week.

Now really laters taters.
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4 comments:

Colleen said...

Heehee! Yes, we will hang out as soon as life is no longer The Crazy. :)

deeleigh said...

Ever checked out Heather Corrina's blog.?

nuckingfutz said...

Drink Unicorn Pee and Snort Glitter diet

I just HAD to tell you that reading that line? I nearly snorted my diet pepsi all over my desk. =)

Twistie said...

BWAHAHAHAAAAA! Unicorn pee and glitter! Hee!

One of my favorite blogs for chasing the blues away is Cake Wrecks.

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

Today they're having a vote on the worst butterfly cupcake cake. The contenders are both terrifying.

Take care of yourself. I hope you're feeling less snotty soon.

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