Monday, November 17, 2008

Wandering brain waves.

So I know the blogging has been light I blame nanowrimo entirely.

I've been quietly reading some of the various skirmishes in the Fat communities and several things pop right out at me.

Personally I think some of it boils down to a few root problems.

I think that there are some people who view these fat communities (whichever one is your flavor) as being 'safe space' thus they are sacrosanct and everyone is playing by the same set of rules.

Clearly this is not so.

We all know by now that I myself, me personally (again I am not Queen Fat of all Fatassia) don't really like the whole idea of safe space. I think a space can be supportive and wonderful and give you a happy in your brain place however, I do think that safe space can over coddle us to the point where functioning and transitioning into a outside the internet activist can be stunted.

Now when it comes to Fatshionista in particular I went back and forth about posting outfits there. Now generally speaking I just don't. Mainly because it's really difficult not to be rude when people make assy comments.

Those nit picky, your camera/picture taking ability/area you take the picture in sucks so I won't give an opinion passive aggressive bullshit.

Granted there isn't a lot of that but I have a very limited capacity to deal with it even in small doses.

Also, a lot of the time Fatshionista at large seems to lack a sense of humour about the fatshions. My last outfit post I made specific mention of being rumpled after a two hour commute most of which was spent on a bus and people felt the need to point it out anyway. That kind of I won't read what you said but comment annoys me.

Also if I see one more persons outfit called juvenile I'm going to holler.

I don['t have much use for the "rules" of fashion one way or another. As we all know (and if you're new) I have a kind of sometimes absurd fashion sense that is awesome.

Also the constant chorus of better bra, better bra. What if your bra is just fine and you just don't feel the necessity of making sure your boobs are always up and perky? That has to be one of my least favorite bits of "constructive criticism" ever. Boobs do not always h ave to be symmetrical and perky.

So yeah. I still enjoy the community in spirit and some of the posters I find to be made of awesome but more often than not I skip reading the comments, make my comment and run. If I really wanna post outfits I will do it in my personal LJ. That way I won't get myself banned by calling someone a fucking dick.

I don['t know what changed. When I first joined Fats it seemed like there was more room for a more diverse aesthetic and not so much fashionz is srs bizness.

I think also my viewpoint has changed a bit. I am simply disinterested in mainstream fashion entirely. Which I've only just (I know I know how slow can I be) realized. I don't care what the rules are. I love Tim Gunn but we would have one hell of a bitch fight if he threw away some of my treasured silly goth frippery. There would be tears and probably some cat fighting.

That said, I am interested in seeing other people whos fashion insterest is different than mine, rocking the fuck out of their clothes. Yes I do. Yes I might really hate one thing, but it does make me happy to see someone feeling fat and sassy and awesome rocking what they are wearing.

So yeah.

Did I have a fucking point?

I totally did but I've lost it now.

Oh no wait right.

My actual point was before the fatshionista digression is that, we are not all playing by the same set of rules in the fat community.

For instance.

In many places along the Fatosphere highway, there are things that are not to be discussed. We all know this.

There are people who may or may not approve your comments.

There are people who do not like to be disagreed with.

That's fine.

I think sometimes people forget that once you are out of your own sandbox (your blog, forum or whtaever) there might be a divergence of ideas. Having one thing in common does not necessarily mean we are all going to have the same opinions.

For instance, this is my sandbox.

You can disagree with me, you can talk about your diet as in what you eat on a daily basis or your diet as in what is shrinking your ass.

My only rule is don't be a douchebag, and if you are going to be a douchebag or troll don't think you won't get called on it. I have only ever deleted two comments in the what's it been something like 6 years I've been keeping an online journal on the internets.

The first case was way back in my diary-x days and a crush had left her very personal info in my comments by mistake and I deleted it as soon as I'd gotten said info.

The second was some weird internet pharmacy potentional spyware shit that I didn't want my readers to click accidentally.

I've never deleted another comment.

Incidentally I sometimes think that's why it's rare that I get trolled in a public manner. It's just not fun.

That said. If you absolutely have to troll I can't p0romise I'll be so upset I'll delete and flounce off of the intertubes in a butthurt way, I might make fun of you (use spell check), I might dissect what you say. I might ignore it.

Um yeah I am procrastinating something awful today.

For the latest excerpt from the epic smutfest that is my nanowrimo novella see here at my lj.

Keep an eye out for my first hair related tutorial to go on the Cheekan. (You are totally supposed to say that out loud with some happy glee like in that The Fifth element, if you've seen it you know eactly what I'm talking about), it is going to be epic so it's going to take some work. EPIC.


Also some new make up pics coming soon.

Now back to the salt mines.

And I still love you guys.

Homo Out.


Anonymous said...

Shannon, I think your point about everyone having their own sandbox as it were is a really good one. I've often struggled with the diet talk/no diet talk dichotomy, and I decided that I wouldn't allow it on my blog because it triggered me personally, and I didn't want to read about it because of the same reason, so I kept blogs that were diet talk -friendly off my personal feeds.

In the end, each blog in the FA community (and any other community) is unique, as its bloggers are each unique. Certain places one should avoid talking about politics. Other places it's encouraged (if you have the right set!). Some places are better to talk about religion, and others brush it off. Some are healthist and talk endlessly about HAES, exercise minutes, and food cravings. Others don't. And so forth.

Great post.

Twistie said...

I love me some Tim Gunn, too, but he's never touching my beloved boho/Stevie Nicks/gothlite wardrobe. The nicest thing about him, though, is the fact that he waits to be invited. I appreciate that about his show as opposed to all the shows where people are turned in by their nearest and dearest for their lack of fashion sense and then hijacked and bullied by the show. But Tim can have my cut-down-to-there stretch velvet Guenivere gown when he pries it from my cold, dead fingers.

What fun is fashion sans whimsey? There's a reason I adore Elsa Schiaparelli so. Her pork chop hat alone would have my heart forever, but then she went on to design a suit with pockets that looked like drawers with little knobs instead of buttons!

I won't hang where clothes aren't fun.

Different groups need different things from different communities. And every sandbox has its own rules. I'm truly glad that you haven't had a lot of nasty troll traffic, but I know from experience that you don't have to have any potentially oppressive rules for them to strike. It's happened to me. May your luck continue, because I wouldn't wish trolls on anyone. I really wouldn't wish them on you, because, hey, I love this blog to pieces and back again. I love how free-wheeling it is and how I might find one day that you're talking about health issues, another about awesome clothes, and yet another about great sex and what you had for lunch. That's one of the things that makes this blog so shiny.

And I now discover that the bad Peter Lorre voice I was using in my head for Cheeken is incorrect.

I bow my head in shame. Then giggle.

DavitaCuttita said...

Damn, do I ever love how Milla Jovovich said "Cheekan" in that movie. I loved her outfit, too.

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