Monday, December 08, 2008

Chica my darling.

My Darling Chica sent me this question. Keep them coming my sexed up homies. I got my databse rebuilt and it is accident proof.

I'm having trouble with being able to get my boyfriend inside me on the first try, like for some reason every time I try to get on top of him his penis doesn't just go in, like I have to stop and like do this whole maneuver thing and it's awkward and kills the moment for me....I just want to know if there's anything I can do that will make it easier, to be quite honest it makes me feel like I'm being a bad lover because it looks like I don't know what I'm doing. Help if you can. Thanks.

Dearest darling Chica,
First of all YES you are doing it right! RIGHT!

Second of all you are absolutely not a bad lover sweetheart. You are perfectly normal. I will tell you from lots of experience (I LOVE being on top, and have for more than a decade so I've done the field research) that the porno movies are often incorrect and most of us don't get a bullseye on the first try.

Think of it this way. Unless you are super bendy, you have probably never quite seen your pussy from that angle, nor tried to get something in there from that angle.

Here's what I think you need to do.

First, take a breath and relax. He is totally seriously happy you're there. Believe me baby.

Next. Ease up on yourself. Sex is not serious business. Things happen. And it is perfectly okay to have an oops moment, have a giggle and keep on trucking.

But for the practical advice. When you get on top of your man, while you're getting into your preferred position, give your pussy a nice rub with his cock. If you are at all made like me in the crotchal region, your inner labia may be swollen with arousal therefore making the entrance to your pussy a little harder to get to. No sweat.

My favorite move, rise up on your knees a little, rub your partner where it feels good then, use your fingers to spread your labia, rub your partner between them until you hit the spot then ride to glory my homie.

Also try using a squeeze of lube along your inner labia or on the tip of your partners penis. Not a whole lot just enough to ease entry.

And I am willing to bet that you're having some anxiety. And when you're anxious you can tighten up and that can make getting your partner inside you a little more difficult. Breath, relax. And remember, you are doing it right.

Dykes, you too can use this info. I expect a full report from the field people.

The bottom line Chica, your skillz are not lacking. You like most every other woman are not able to get on top and smoothly like whoa, get your partner inside you in one try. I can't. Most of the women I've been with haven't. You aren't alone, you aren't weird, you are beautiful normal and hot.

So here is my challenge to you my darling, armed with some new info I want you to get all horned up, get on that man and ride him like he doesn't even KNOW what is going on. Then when you are spent and glowing, turn to your man and say, "HELL YEAH!" Take a nap, maybe have a snack, then walk around the next day with one of those knowing little smiles.

Now as for the rest of you.

The above, that is your homework too and yes there will be a quiz. Naw but no seriously go have some fun. It's cold in much of the world and why not spend the winter doing things that make you have a special tingle?

More questions? Awesome send em.

Also folks, I have some stuff to recommend from my personal stash of sexy times supplies. I'll probably do that later this week. Now that I'm finally out of the cold induced fog I've been in I can concentrate to do it. Also, a little reminiscing. And if you're real nice I'll tell you about one of my laughter inducing, should have been embarrassing sexual misadventures.

Until then.

Go forth, have orgasms. Lots of them. Love your genitals. Pet them daily.

Homo Out.



Haddayr said...

There is nothing wrong with holding his penis and guiding it in. Our parts don't just line up automatically and perfectly, no matter how well you know the other person's body. For RLZ. Good advice.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely nothing wrong with guiding him in.

Now, just to get everything relaxed and lubed and going (cause I've had kids, and that sometimes means the whole self-lubing mechanism goes awry) I will get on top of him and not put it in, just put my weight on my knees on either side of him and enjoy the sensation of him inside my labia and the head of his penis running over my clit, and just sort of grind there for a little bit. And in a bit everything relaxes and opens up, and sometimes I need a hand to guide, and sometimes I can just scootch my hips around and make it happen.

(This also has the beneficial side effect of making him squirm and yell pleasepleasepleasehoney!!! which is not to be overlooked, oh, no...)

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