Monday, January 05, 2009

Remembering the precious and sacred.

As I'm approaching my 32nd birthday (March 16 for you folks shopping playing along) I have some plans.

Aside from my previously mentioned return to craftacular awesomeness. (That is currently in the form of crocheting myself an awesome hat, it was too cold in my apartment, cold=stiff back, to move my sewing area) and I've got some clothes stuff tucked away.

I am also trying to do a few things more diligently.

Chief among those things are remembering the things that are precious to me. And remembering to appreciate and love the things I find sacred.

What are those things? I don't feel like sharing right now because they are private.

However I will say that part of this involves loving and taking better care of myself.

This includes a shit ton of things I am not going to list but a huge part of it is that, I tend to forget that I have to take care of this body even if it's temporary and doesn't always perform to my liking.

I forget to honor myself.

I also maybe because I do seriously and deeply care about a lot of things, tend to let myself get worked up and into a state over things that I can do nothing about. I am going to work hard on that because it's not worth the hike in blood pressure.

Another thing I am working on personally is my ability to fuel my own joy.

WHen things are hard in my life, or I am really stressed out I tend to bring it all in. I reel everything in tightly and forget to laugh or smile. I forget that sometimes it takes an effort to feel joyful. That despite whatever hardship I happen to be having at that moment, it will pass and I will make it through.

After almost 32 years on the planet if there is one thing I know I can do it's survive.

And dear self, yes we know survival is in your toplist of shit you can do. How about working on surviving and having a good life?

All that said this is a time of hard work for me. I have things that are very serious to deal with and at the same time I have to do some fixing on a personal and spiritual level. It's important to me.

I need to remember how to advocate for myself in my personal private life. I tend to not be able to do that as well as I want to.

I think I may be in for a bumpy road. I will probably fall down and freak out but I am determined to create a sacred and beautiful place for myself.

I know this is all kind of out there in the ether.

So right o.

To give myself an official beginning because I love that sort of thing. Tonight I am going to work on rearranging my computer area to be conducive to dancing. Belly dancing naturally. I am not going to be mad that I am back to trying to get through Amira's 101. And I am going to be nice to myself about it.

Note to self, also get a new sports bra and some yoga pants type things.

So my darling readers, how are you going to honor and love yourselves?

Also, my dear feminist homie, I have not forgotten about you but have been ruminating on your question and will answer this week.

Homo Out.



Anonymous said...

Honor and love. The world needs more of this.

I do believe you are starting in exactly the right place.

Anonymous said...

A big fat gorgeous "Amen" to that.

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