There are a lot of blogs I ready by women and one very common theme in what is (if I do say so myself) a hell of a diverse roster, is so often women feel they must repent for apparent dietary misdeeds.
Whether it's one of the make up loving ladies I read bemoaning her decision to have a cupcake and her "punishment" of an ass kicking workout (I originally typed wardrobe because I was totally looking at clothes earlier) in the morning or it's the literary diva bemoaning her love of a pair of pants that makes her look chunky, it hurts my heart.
It hurts my heart to see women shaming themselves and often others due to these perceived "sins"- against what?
Who are they sinning against?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be thin, where I see the wrong is the idea that someone somehow has moral failings if they eat a fucking cupcake.
This is an area where I think we fail each other as human beings. By assigning moral goodness, rightness or badness and wrongness to foods we are essentially kicking each other in the spiritual crotch for no reason.
Now food ethics aside here (because I don't care to argue about it and I will start frothing about class and whatnot), I have yet to find someone who can give me a compelling, intelligent, well put together reason that someone should shame themselves for having a snack, or wanting a cupcake.
I think a huge part of this problem for women speaks more to the idea that women are not creatures of appetite. That women are somehow inherently immune to (unless they are pregnant and then only a point) cravings and yes, beastly up front desires.
If you have a glance through any magazine (from silly newsprint tabloid to supposedly reputable publications) how often do you see a picture of a famous woman who appears to be eating something "unhealthy" and there's almost always some kind of back handed aside.
Think about it.
Now the harder thing to think about is why do we do this to each other?
How could we (you, me, that guy on teh corner) start putting the brakes on?
Here we arrive at just speaking up.
When your BFF or whomever is lamenting their want of some cheesecake or bacon, tell them it's ok.
Not that it's okay for a special occasion, or that they'd better head out to the gym right after, just say, "that sounds awesome enjoy it."
Quite frankly I think there is already plenty going on to feel bad about.
This is not a manifesto but I am taking a stand.
I will enjoy my appetites.
I will not feel ashamed if all I want for dinner is bacon and a granola bar. I will similarly not feel ashamed to be juicily, hotly, magnificently human in all my foibles and oddities.
Now I know there is going to be somebody who's' going to be horrified.
If women give in (yes note the language there) to their desires won't they all get fat and go insane?
Actually probably not.
I believe that when we fight ourselves less over things that are often in the long run not such a big damn deal we are happier.
I also believe that we must change the language surrounding women and their desires. We must start chipping away at the terrible guilt so many of us are burdened with.
Sometimes, it's as simple as saying "It's okay".
Sometimes not so much.
Now of course, if a food say peanut butter would kill you of course I would ask that you not partake. But, your desire for it doesn't make you a bad or lazy or terrible person. You're just a person.
So I will wrap up and say be nice to yourselves and each other.
Now I'm off my friends.
Tomorrow I have some musing to do about fat and sex. Someone asked me some interesting personal questions and that sparked some thoughts.
But for now I have an essay to edit and tea to drink.