Thursday, February 19, 2009

When the peen starts looking good.

Before we get to the beef, MCCN I have no clue you are seriously the first person to ever ask. Uh...I'll get back to you on that.

So the Peen.

I had a conversation via email recently with an up til now hetero man who's found himself quite suddenly rather enamored of another peen having human and naturally he's kind of confused.

For background this fellow is in his mid thirties, biologically male and has to this point never found himself curious about or really anything other than ambivalent about peen other than his own.

Recently he met another man about his age who he found himself quite attracted to and this dude is fairly into him, he's not super freaked out but a little bit.

Here is what I think.

I do not believe for an instant that a persons sexuality is ever static. Things change, people change, needs and desires change and there is nothing wrong with that.

Does his interest in this other dude mean he's suddenly gay? Probably not. Does it mean he's bisexual now? Maybe. Or maybe he's a straight dude who is sometimes attracted to other dudes.

I'm not a huge believer in sticking to a label for simplicity's sake. Things like sexuality are often far too complicated for these things. I also don't believe that deviating from what's the norm for you indicates a massive tectonic shift either.

If we take the peen out of the issue and say that this guy usually dates 6' blonds with short hair, blue eyes and small boobies then shows up at the party with a 5' black haired black eyed big titty having lady does this turn the universe inside out?

Nope not really.

I think that some people are really just more attuned to attraction based on what gives them the special tingle in the brain than others. And sometimes what gives us that special tingle is not what we are expecting and can be scary.

I told him to just enjoy himself. If he finds himself with an unavoidable want to have some buttsex or whatever with this guy to go ahead. And also to be honest that he is maybe a little freaked, has never sucked a cock and isn't sure what to do or how to feel exactly.

I also told him that if he does in fact want to have some boy on boy sexy times he needs to be prepared. I hand picked him some awesome porn to look at, recommended some informational things to read. I always advocate knowledge before taking the big plunge.

I think all of us at some point has a thought or attraction that freaks us out. Maybe it's someone outside of your culture, outside of your slice of the universe, hell maybe it's somebody fat or thin or super hot or whatever. It's okay.

Yes let me tell you that again my darling, it is okay. You are not losing your mind, your personality or self. You are okay. And there is no rule anywhere that says you have to even act on these feelings. You are free to stay home and wank yourself into a coma if you want to.

Now I am not a huge fan of picking at and trying to analyze every emotion or fleeting attraction. I don't think that it does us as humans a whole lot of good when we try to police ourselves to the point we start freaking if something seems politically incorrect in our own brains.

If you are not demeaning someone who hasn't asked you to do so, if you aren't basing your attraction on some racial or sexual stereotype, if you are not being creepy or weird you are probably just fine.

In essence what I'm saying here my homos, homies, haters and noobs is if you feel yourself getting the special tingle for somebody in your brain parts, go with it.

You never know. You might fall in love, you might have some awesome sex, you might freak out and never want to do that again but you'll know at least that you gave your brain a chance to lead your heart and/or crotch. And that my friends is an awesome feeling in my current view of the universe.

So there you have my take on sudden peen appreciation by fellow peen having human being.

Now I don't feel so hot today my stomach is wibbly and I think I've forgotten to eat enough and my blood sugar is taking a proverbial nose dive.

Homo Out.



Twistie said...

I think one of the biggest mistakes we make about sexuality in this culture is to assume that it's like a lightswitch: on/off, straight/gay, virgin/whore, boring/depraved.

In reality, I think it's more of a wibbly-wobbly-sexy-lexy thing that encompasses many possibilities which may or may not ever be acted upon for a variety of reasons.

Hope you're feeling better. Don't forget to eat, girl!

Eema-le said...

I always viewed sexual orientation as a spectrum, not as binary. I can understand why that perspective might make people uncomfortable. We want to categorize things, in order to feel like we understand them. I hate that.

I can only speak for myself, but I doubt that I'm the only one out there. What draws me to a person has more to do with what's between their ears, than what's between their legs. The between the legs stuff is just a bonus :)

Raven Nightshade said...

Agreed on the spectrum concept of human sexuality. It's rather confining to stick to gay, straight, and bi when you have people who identify as male, female, both, neither and everything in between.

Anonymous said...

People would be pretty shocked to know the number of straight identified guys who have regular boy on boy romps. It happens in the military, male dorms, guys who travel a lot, and guys who are driving home after work and need a quick BJ. Its just not acknowledged because its not fetishized in the media like lesbianism.
Tell him to check out Humphrey's Tea Room Trade. And there's tons of porn out there focused on straight guys.
Mmmm boy on boy action makes this lesbian very happy :)

Sheryl said...

I have problems with the whole "I'm only attracted to..." thing because it assumes attraction is all about the appearance, and it isn't. Whatever qualities attract you may be more common in one group or another, but that doesn't mean you won't be attracted to someone who shares those qualities but not that label.

Plus really closeminded people will not recognize their own attraction to someone out of their "chosen" group, which somehow tends to lead to really sick assumptions about the person they're attracted to. So I wish people would forget the boxes and just own up to the fact that they have only the vaguest idea what attracts them and not get in a sweat when they're attracted to someone who doesn't fit their assumptions.

If the attraction violates your religious beliefs or you don't want to act on it for some other reason, then just use that unusual attraction to hone your knowledge on what actually attracts you, whether you decide to act on that particular attraction or not. Maybe that knowledge will help you be open to a relationship that DOES work out, y'know?

Haddayr said...

I think if bigotry were out of the equation, folks wouldn't have to identify themselves by their attractions. It wouldn't be part of your identity. You'd love who you loved and not be enormously shocked if the genders (or hair or eye color) changed.

It's because of bigotry and the need to be proud of who you are in a world that hates you that makes us start defining ourselves by our sexuality. I for one look forward to a time when this is not so.

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