Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Random fat related musings.

I was musing earlier (being that it's my usual navel gazing time of year) and looking at some old pictures of me. Let me illuminate you and show you the picture in question.



That is probably about oh 7-8 years old now. Now to all appearances that is a happy young Shannon, pretty fit, not fat right?

So if it is to be believed that thinner=better I should probably be looking back at that with sad fondness and longing.

In actuality I was pretty ill. What you can't see is how miserable I was. I was miserable because I didn't feel well. Medication I was on caused hairloss and weightloss. From about the belly button down I was wearing a size 6-7 and because of the DD boobies XL or 12-14 up top hence the cardigan.

I remember feeling horribly undesirable and my self esteem was seriously in the shitter. I really deeply hated my body.

Hindsight being what it is, I do kind of wish I could go back and tell myself it's okay that there was a choice. I was not required to enjoy being in that particular physical state.

I wish I had known more about being well rather than focusing on some ideal that I didn't believe in.

I forget now what my original point was.

Anyhow.

Wow I've been working an unintended double shift and I'm exhausted.

My darling Virgin your question is up Thursday or Friday.

Awesome only a half hour left.

later my loves.
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1 comment:

Nadege said...

i admire your honesty...and for
laying bare - how appearances
often lie.

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