Thursday, April 30, 2009

Seriously? Part two.

If you recall the other day I wrote a post in response to someone whom I'm not sure is a troll or not.

So to continue this faux dialogue since Schmoopy hasn't yet given me a working email address for an actual conversation the next list of erroneous assumptions.

I know I've gone over this many many times but you Schmoopy clearly have the entirely wrong idea about Fat Acceptance.

Now since the word fat completely freaks you out and causes you to send people weird messages I will use the words Body Acceptance.

My position is as follows.

I do not believe that there is anything morally wrong with having a body that is different than any one else's body. Whether that is someone who is really fat, kinda fat, average, super thin whatever. It is your body and your body does not exist for me or have anything to do with me. The physical state of your ass at any given time has no bearing on what I may think about your intelligence, morals, health status, political leanings, favorite shade of toenail polish, who you like to rub genitalia with or even what you like to eat.

The fact is that no two human bodies look the same. It is natural and just fine that people have bodies that are all sorts of different.

Also you do not have the right (nor do I for that matter) to harass, abuse, or decide what other people do or do not do with their bodies. You do not get to decide how I treat my body, you do not get to decide that I need to lose twenty pounds, you do not get to decide what food I do or do not put in my mouth as I would not dare do to you.

Just as I cannot come into your house and burn every piece of clothing you own that I don't like, you cannot come into my house and decide what foods I cannot have.

I think it's a terrible thing that we allow each other to try so hard to police what other people do with their bodies.

Now for every person out there (and there are a shit load of you) who gets pissed off when the fatties do anything, go to the gym, exist, wear clothes, have sex etc what the big booger for you folks is that you cannot control these things.

It's a bear ain't it?

Sure you can spew hate, and psuedo science, you can hype whatever you're doing to keep your ass the same size it was when you were 16 but, people don't have to listen.

Now I may be going out on a limb here but most of the anti-FA things I've heard revolve around several key but misguided ideas.

The big one is that being "healthy" means being thin and appearing fit.

The fact is that being thin is not a swell indicator of how healthy someone might be.

I have known many thin people who would not exercise if you lit their feet on fire. I have known many thin people who would rather eat at Micky D's every day than cook or eat other foods.

Now if you were really so serious about health and one must be healthy, wouldn't you be harassing those folks too?

If you were really serious about health as the be all end all, you wouldn't bitch about the fat girl jogging, or doing yoga, or being at the gym. You would be the most excited person on the block wouldn't you?

In a society where one ostensibly has free will within the law, being healthy is not a moral obligation.

I do not have a moral obligation to you, to eat the way you want me to. I do not have a moral obligation to you to exercise to avoid diseases that I have no sure signs of developing other than the fact that I am fat.

At the root of this issue is that appearance does not equal health.

Appearance is just that. What you see on the outside of me or anyone else generally speaking is not going to tell you how actually healthy they are or aren't.

I am a fat person. This does not tell you what health issues I may or may not have.

Someone else is a thin person and this does not tell me what health issues they may or may not have.

Also pretty much every equality based movement has not a thing to do with people wanting to be found hot.

No really it's not.

It's not about you thinking I am a hot piece of ass.

That isn't what it's about, that isn't the point and I would guess that nobody really cares who you think is or isn't hot or who you might want to rub your genitalia against.

What Fat Acceptance (I know I said I wouldn't use that term but I lied) is about for me and some few other people is that you cannot treat us, or anyone like less than because our bodies are different.

That means don't try and legislate what I can or can't eat, if you are a medical professional do not try and push surgery on me or not give me proper and appropriate medical treatment based on the numbers on the scale.

It means, that fat, thin, super fat, super thin, average, muscley, flabby, in awesome shape, can't run four steps whatever state you are in is your own business.

That. Is. All.

Now Schmoopy, this is going to be our last conversation. I'll probably read your missives and ignore them.

My big suggestion is this, you live your life, I'll live mine and that's fucking awesome.

However, if you would like to have an actual dialogue as in give and take I will do that with you but if you decide to give faux email addresses or cannot be respectful of my autonomy as a human being you can fuck off.

That goes for the world in general.

Respect my autonomy and I will respect yours and we'll get along just fine.

Homo Out.


Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The art of the self portrait.

I know I've discussed this before but I have new thoughts.

I have a serious and long standing interest in the art of the self portrait.

I think a lot of this has to do with issues I've had over the years with my own appearance and my endless fascination with the varying ways and things one can show the world with a self portrait. Also with having a visual representation of my habitual naval gazing as well.

And not a little vanity of course.

I've been slowly taking some self portraits and I have two that I am supremely proud of because I just like them visually.

I will show them at the bottom.

I'm also highly interested in visibility. Being visible to myself. If nobody else appreciates said photos that's fine, what's important is giving myself a chance to outwardly show some things I feel inside.

I realize that there is a political implication and aspect to some of the things I want to do and quite frankly I don't care. This is a new realization.

I don't care what my slow going project does or doesn't do for fat folks, black folks, queer folks or whomever and that's a little hard for me.

That's hard for me to say because I -want- to care about making an impact for (insert people here) everywhere but this isn't for you all it's for me.

What I'm having the most trouble is technical currently.

I don't have great light sources for what I am aiming to do and I am not yet a good enough photographer to work with it. Most of my lighting successes have been entirely accidental and I don't know how to replicate them.

I will show you folks some examples of self portraiture I really like. And here is my question for you folks, how does one go about creating and figuring these things out? Do I just start shooting and work it out as I go along?

Aside from really loving her writing I love a lot of the self portraits Violet Blue takes of herself. NSFW mostly dudes.

I also love wooferSTL a lot. Some NSFW. A lot of his photos make me want to get to know him, have a cuddle. Have some beers and share a plate of food.

I also love a lot of the pictures in this Taking Pictures of Myself group on Flickr as well.

I'm thinking part of my problem with doing this thing is some low level fear. I'm afraid my pictures will be crap, that I won't be able to express what I want to.

I'm not so much afraid of being seen. Which is a nice feeling.

So help me out. Should I just work with what I've got until I can get my crafting/photo area (when not shooting outside which I have yet to master) done?

Do I put on my big girl panties and manly hard hat and get to work?

So, all that said here are some of the self portraits I'm most proud of.


Click for the bigger image. I like this picture because even though it's fairly simple, just my eyeball yanno, there are things to look at. The eyelash on my cheek, the things reflected on my eye, my freckles and birthmarks (of which I have plenty on my face).

And this one, which you'll recognize from my header.


Naked skin, my head is tilted with my eyes closed. That photo says a lot about how I spend some time of my life. Quiet. Thinking. Trying to see inwardly.

All this might be psuedo artistic blabbering but it is how I feel.

That picture makes me happy even though it's fairly somber.

There was a time when I would have slit your throat if you tried to take my picture without me having my hair did and make up on. And there was no fucking way I'd have let someone take one that close up.

So these are a start I think.

I'd like to move into more body oriented things, more costume and tom foolery.

Okay that's all.

I had a big Fatshionista related post planned but I just don't feel like it. I've been trying to reframe what I have to say and it's just not happening and I don't know if it would be productive to share my opinions right now.

At this point I think I might just lurk there for awhile until I figure out what it is that I'm feeling exactly.

Or I might spew it all out here.

Either way it's nothing personal, it's just a thing that I need to process in order to get out of my brain in a way that's not dickish.

And in more exciting news, I finished my screenplay. I WON FUCKING SCRIPT FRENZY.

My after impressions are here on my el jay. Feel free to comment even if you don't has the El Jay.

Now if you folks will excuse me, I need to do some naval gazing and writing about said naval gazing.

Homo Out.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Fatshions for Ladyjaye

Ooh my darling.

I know the Torrid.

Ladyjaye asked me about some options at Torrid and tights. Two things I know from my shopping learnings.

First thing, Torrid can be absurdly overpriced. My big advice for Torrid is not to shell out the big bucks for most of their stuff unless (this is my personal rule)you love it so much you have to have it.

Quite frankly the quality verses the price of many Torrid items is just not great. A lot of very expensive things that in my mind are not made that well. Since you'll be in New York, I'd honestly save my money for somewhere more fabulous where you'll get more bang for your buck.

When it comes to Torrid I like a lot of their basic items. Things like tanks and tees when they are on sale.

I usually go for a size 12 in pants/skirts, a 0 in tanks and I like their tees in a size 1 because they tend to fit my shoulders better. Also more boobage room.

If you're not looking for basics I'd say unless it's on the clearance rack skip it. To tell you the truth I'm not super into a lot of what Torrid is offering these days. I also suggest calling the store you want to go to, to find out what they are stocking currently.

I believe (and if I'm wrong correct me folks) most Torrid stores are carrying different things these days depending on the demographic of their location. If there's something you really want to try on or buy on the website call or email them (their customer service can be really good if you're nice but firm) and see if an NYC or NJ store has it or is willing to get one in for you.

As far as sizing things from Torrid like most stores it can be a crapshoot sometimes. I am very high waisted (my natural waist is quite literally right under my ribcage) so I rarely if ever get anything with a high rise. I do really like Torrid's in house mid rise pants when they have them. They come just to or just over my belly button which I love.

And let me suggest some alternatives.

Since you'll be in NY let me recommend Re/Dress. Even though I haven't been there I have a.) seen photographic evidence of the hot fat folks getting some awesome new to them/thrifted clothes, b.) heard the store is all colors of fun and c.)is fucking awesome. From their site there:

Re/Dress NYC is a buy * sell * trade resale
establishment. Based on the store's style,
size and seasonal needs, women are offered
either 25% of the resale price in cash
or 40% store credit for the clothing selected
by the staff.

Fuck. Yes.

If you and your friends are feeling ambitious maybe try taking some clothes with you to trade.

If you're ready to spend some $$ in the Big Apple I also say check out Monif C. Even though I really can't afford to shop there myself if I could I absolutely would. Also it looks like a fun place to just go try on fabulous things if you're so inclined.

Also I've heard good things about Leelee's Valise.

With these smaller stores I highly suggest calling ahead if you have any questions.

If I was on my way to NY I'd maybe make a wee trip to Torrid and save my big shopping awesomeness for another store. Depending on what size you are keep your eye out on your travels for interesting shirts and things too.

And now onto tights.

This year I have not had excellent luck with tights.

I bought a bunch of pairs of brightly colored supposedly 2X tights on Ebay that were a phenomenal fail.

For my size (Torrid 12ish with big hams, not a round booty and big hips) I like Target 1X tights. I've had three or four pairs of Merona brand tights and they have done me good.

I've heard lots of reviews on We Love Colors but I haven't bought from them mainly due to budget constraints. I like their selection and think some of those colors are just drool worthy but, 15$ for a pair of tights is steep to me.

For some awesome (way better than I'm doing today) tights/hosiery discussions check out this on Fatshionista.

I will tell you don't waste your time or money on Torrid's tights or thigh highs. I have been dissatisfied with every bit of hosiery I've gotten from them. Quite a long time ago I bought some fishnets there that were so amazingly ill fitting I tossed them out straight away. Also their thigh highs if they are indeed made for fatties are not doing it right.

Also be leery of plus size Leg Avenue tights. Sometimes they fit and sometimes their "queen sizes" are not so queenly.

And about the boob high tights. I used to really hate that but at some point I decided that tights that don't pinch my thighs, don't fall down and look good are worth hiking them up to my bra.

Unfortunately darlin' trying to find interesting tights in person is a shit ton of legwork and my record thus far is pretty bad. I look at tights at almost every clothing store but all too often anything interesting does not even remotely look like it'll fit.

I've also recently started an interest in footless tights and I think I might go with that since Target carries some neat colors. Unfortunately tights buying even if you're doing it in person can be quite the adventure. But once you find some you like, buy three pairs at a time.

Has this made any sense at all? I'm a little wee in the head from antihistemines and I might have gone off track.

Also in case you aren't on LJ I can put your query to the fine folks at Fatshionista and link it for you.

Other readers, suggestions? Thoughts? Ready..>GO GO GO GO!

Homo Out.


Friday, April 24, 2009

You heard...

Okay I feel better today.

And despite my ongoing frustration I am making an effort to enjoy things.

So my legwear fun let me show you them.

Those are my Target Merona brand size XL magenta footless tights I got on sale quite awhile back.

They are so fucking violently magenta. I wasn't sure about them but now I love them. They are quite stretchy so someone pear shaped could probably rock them well. If you're apple shaped go a size up maybe.

I was wearing them in the picture with a big floofy black skirt on one of the first actual Spring like days.

My big win from target this year though is the following.

Yes those are argyle socks my homies. I wore them with old black capri pants, pulled all the way up. NERDS REPRESENT!

I love those socks so much y'all don't even know. I love, LOVE fancy socks. Also my homies with larger calves if you see the two pack with grey and argyle socks buy them. These actually are a smidge too big and if I walk briskly as I do often, they fall down a bit. But LOOK they are awesome.

Also, as I was saying to Sinner (whom I've been reading for years now and who I think is quite the delicious bit of man) I have started to enjoy the phrase I am becoming.

Despite my weird Springtime ass dragging, I am becoming.


I don't know.

I feel stirrings in my back brain. Not my angry survive at all costs reptile brain but let's say a level up.

In yet other news, I still haven't found shoes I like.

Expect some pictures next week. make up, crafts, some of my arty stuff. I have a crapload of pictures to upload.

Also I'm almost done with my script WOOOOT. And might make it available to read publicly but I haven't decided yet.

So yeah I'm spent. It's Friday I had a BLT and my feet are cold.

Homo Out.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Seriously? Really...part one.

Okay so I am finally feeling a bit more humanoid.

Allergies are still off of the fucking chain crazy snot filled but, I am in favor right now of putting that bullshit aside.

So it's time for some catch up.

In the last month or so I've had someone who's very dedicated to "helping" me with my various and sundry flaws via my little sexy times question form there. I've been ignoring them thus far and deleted most of the "concerned comments made anonymously".

For our purposes here, we'll call this person Shmoopy.

Okay Shmoopy for someone seemingly so concerned with my physical and mental health and in starting a "dialogue" with me you left out some of the important parts of dialogue.

Dialogue implies there is give and take. A back and forth conversation and since you've given me three bunk email addresses here are my responses.

First thing.

You've commented on how if only I'd diet I would not be so fat, wouldn't be in such "dire health straits", and would be happier.

I am not in dire health straits. I may am no Jack Lalane but I'm not on the edge of death. Despite being yanno death fat according to the seeing nothing BMI charts.

I have never in my life (yes I mean back to emerging weeks premature into the world at a whopping 4 pounds) been an extremely healthy person. I was born almost six weeks premature had jaundice, a heart murmur and failure to thrive.

During my childhood I had other health complications. A weak immune system, chronic bronchitis, very bad allergies. I got sick a lot.

I could give a detailed medical history but I'm not going to. Suffice it to say that I have spent a majority of my life being as healthy as I can be rather than being a paragon of health in general.

In my late teens I decided to be a vegan and went health crazy. I did the stuff you read about in women's and fitness magazines. I had quite nearly a perfect (according to the going literature at the time) diet, I worked out with the aid of a trainer.

And I got sick. I got really fucking sick. Not only did I get sick but I injured myself and exacerbated my already not too great joints.

Now read that slowly Shmoopy.

I will tell you I was quite thin for me. At the worst part of those few years I probably weighed about 105 pounds (I stand at 5'3" or so) and have never felt worse about myself at all.

Vegetarianism works and is awesome for some people but not for me. My immune system was depressed, my body was falling to pieces and I felt ugly.

I was by the numbers supposed to be healthy and happy because I was thin but I wasn't.

That is a fact.

Moving on.

Shmoopy, you've also decided that I'm fat because I "overeat and don't move".

This also is an erroneous conclusion.

Regarding my eating habits they are as follows by and large.

I am trying very hard not to eat a lot of dairy because I am very lactose intolerant and I don't like gastric distress.

I am also trying very hard not to indulge my sweet tooth as much as I'd like to. Mainly because my body tends to metabolize sugar in ways that leave me feeling not so good and I don't like that.

I don't drink much soda.

I drink a lot (as in liters) of water.

I usually have one largish meal when I get home from work with Uniballer and a smaller one while I'm at work. I'm not a breakfast eater I never have been really. I like to snack on things like raw peas, edamame, crackers.

All told (as I was admonished by a doctor in the not so distant past)I don't actually eat enough generally speaking. It's something I'm working on.

And as for exercise.

I don't own a car. I walk everywhere. Some days at work I climb a lot of stairs and do a lot of walking. All told my life doesn't fall into the category of sedentary.

However, if you are using the idea of only dedicated time to exercise counts, then yes it is.

Unfortunately due to some fatigue and sleep issues I have (my shitty joints aside) I just don't have enough energy to devote extra time in the day for dedicated exercising.

This is unfortunate but I'm dealing.

Even though I have dubbed myself the Dowager Queen of All Fatassia, I am neither a widow nor an actual queen and my boy prince is a stuffed bunny, all that said I can't speak for every fat person but as far as this fat person goes your assumptions are wrong.

So Shmoopy here's the deal. I don't know if you're really bored and haven't really read a word I've said, if you're trying to troll or what but pay attention please.

If you are being serious let me give you some tips.

If you are indeed concerned about me, preaching to me about whatever diet craze you read about in US magazine isn't going to cut it. Not listening to (or in this case reading and comprehending) what people say is also not going to cut it.

Being that you don't know me personally, you have no window as to the facts about my life save what I say here. Also, can I tell you that 32 years in this body has taught me about what this body likes and does not like.

Now for people who want to engage someone in an actual conversation about health some pointers.

Do not presume that what helps your body be healthy is going to be a panacea for whomever you're speaking to.

Yes, there are basic things that most bodies dig but, individual biology can be a varied and strange thing.

For instance, you are hyping a thrice daily dose of Unicorn Pee. You feel awesome, you're losing weight, you're hair is magnificent and your cellulite is all gone. Let's say I am not interested in those things, that's ok. It's also okay if I don't want Unicorn Pee because it gives me the glittering shits.

Maybe working out for two hours every single day rocks your mother fucking world. That is awesome. That is Mother. Fucking awesome. That does not rock my world and this too is okay.

The point is being that our bodies are not all exactly the same, the same ways of eating, exercising and living are not going to work for everybody and that's okay.

Different does not equal bad or wrong it's just different.

I think if you're of the mindset that everyone must be healthy as a moral imperative and whatnot, if you're serious about this think long and hard about how you frame health.

Not everyone can be Jack Lalane.

Personally I want all of us to be as healthy as we can.

When I say healthy I mean physically, emotionally, the whole nine yards. I also know and own the fact that this is not possible for everyone.

Let's be as okay as we can be.

I also propose that we stop being such douchebags to each other.

I fully believe that if more people were cooler to each other a lot of us would lead less stressful lives.

Even if you don't want to be cool to people, just leave them the fuck alone. Really.

There is a part two to this because I believe I had a grand total of about 10 messages from Shmoopy. But I have script writing to do.

So my darlings, happy Thursday.

Homo Out.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Frustration Station.

I am frustrated internets.


So if you're new or not playing along at home I have a hard time letting out my frustrations and being emotionally up front when there are issues.

I have mega fuck tons of shit that I really need to do but not enough energy or time to do it all.

This is frustrating.

My allergies are on the warpath this year and I don't feel good.

Frustrating as fuck.

Also I am feeling the economic fuckery and it hurts.

It's not in a OH I need shiny things kind of way but in the, oh shit I need shoes so how many hours of OT should I work kind of way.

I'm not new to this sort of thing it's just yanno frustrating.

I keep having weird random shit not go my way and it's frustrating.

One of the things that causes me the most stress is when my ability to do things is outpaced by my ambitions.

Compounding my stress is that some of this I can't do anything about right now.

I hate that.

Anyway, that is the state of things. I am stressed out.

Which leads me to the following.

Generally speaking, Spring is usually a time when I do all that rebirth, change yadda yadda shit but this year I just feel really ambivalent about it.

I am alternately just plain exhausted and then pissed off. I'm just a big ball o' frustrated ranty cranky pissypants.

This is part of the reasons posting has been light. There's shit to talk about but, again the frustration+stress=cranky and tongue tied.

So pretty much, you can picture me flapping my arms in consternation then just squawking FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I'm dealing as best I can.

Trying to take good care of myself, tackling one thing at a time.

The first thing I am going to tackle in the near future is my terrible lack of comfortable summer foot wear.

Back in November I bought two pairs of Torrid flats during the Black Friday sale that were supposed to be my summer shoes.

The silver pair either run a size and a half small or were mislabeled. And the black shiny pair while cute is just ill fitting enough that when I walk they cut the shit out of the backs of my heels.

Also despite my measuring myself a few of my summer ebay finds don't fit properly so I'm going to have to get rid of them.

So I've been on the hunt for footwear and I've got my eye on my first pair of thong sandals, my homie Cookie swears by Reefs so if I can raise $$ I will buy a pair on Ebay.

Unfortunately for me none of the shoes I've tried on recently at Target or Payless have fit well at all or been appropriate for my days full of walking.

So after some fund raising on my part I will report back.

I do have a pair of slightly too big slide on sandals that if I'm not walking too fast or too much I can wear.

There we have it.

Tonight, I am going to go home and exfoliate until my ass feels like silk. Then I am going to paint my toenails. Then I'm going to moisturize and braid my hair to attempt (note the attempt part) a faux afro puff for tomorrow. Not sure I will accomplish that since I've not tried it before.

I'm also going to write some more on my script. Take a deep breath and remind myself I am not nor am I "supposed" to be Super Woman.

I can be upset and it's ok.

So take my frazzled, upset, flaily self as a reminder to be good to yourselves my homies and haters.

Gods know we all need some love.

Homo Out.

One more time with feeling.

One more test.

Ignore it.

( o ) ( o )

See boobies.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Savagry of beauty.

Via Meowser and Harriet I have discovered this fantastic clip of a Brit lady named Susan Boyle.

The clip of her singing on some UK tv show, sums up much of what I think is fucking wrong with people.

Now whether you acknowledge it or not there is the going idea that if one is pretty one must be talented, or if one is talented one must be pretty.

(In this context I'm using pretty as in beauty by Western Ideals, not my personal ideas about beauty.)

Beauty is given virtue and assigned good moral values. Beauty means you must be awesome at everything you do because well look at you.

Beauty can also all to often mean if you're a fucking asshole you get excused to a point because, well look at how hot you are.

Beauty can often mean you can be a total moron, but again look how hot you are so it's okay.

If you watch the video above while enjoying Susan's amazing voice watch those judges. Now I know it's TV and exaggeration makes good ratings but, look at their faces.

Physical beauty is no indicator of talent or lack thereof. Physical beauty isn't really a good indicator of much these days given the amounts of plastic surgery and photoshopping that go around.

Models don't look like models.

That singer you think looks like the hottest bit of walking sex, probably does not roll out of bed looking that way.

What really bugs me is the Cult of Hotness that seems to have become the indicator of all things.

Now I know that somewhere someone is thinking, "Oh you're just bitter cause you're not hot" which isn't the point here.

I long ago embraced and learned to own the fact that there are probably a shit ton of people who think I'm plug ugly and that's fine. That's not what I take issue with.

I take issue with beauty ideals becoming replacements for genuine talent.

I think this makes music suck.

I think this makes art less than.

I think this disrespects all of the creative and ingenious people who have gone before us.

These things are why I developed an interest in alternative art and artists.

I devote quite a bit of my time looking for that elusive unabashed naked anti-beauty. Not ugliness in the "ew gross" kind of way but ugliness in the, "this (person/painting/music/what have you) is astonishing and wonderful" way.

There is something in me that answers to and yearns for the things that are challenging. The things that make me think or kind of freak me out in a way.

I want to see people who are visually weird. I want to see things that challenge me because they aren't easily pinned down as just pretty.

This is what has fueled my interest in fashion, art, make up, etc. Being that I am not (ever so sad about this) not an artist, things like weird clothes and make up are where I can explore these desires and express them.

Does this make any sense?

I don't know if it does or not.

This comes from a purely emotional brain place rather than a rational one.

So instead of blathering on and on about these things let me show you some things I like to look at and read that I find delicious and pleasing.

Coilhouse Magazine. Delicious on the web and even better in print.

Molly Crabapple is an artist whom I discovered completely by accident at some point and now love.

Morbid Anatomy. Weird, amazing things. Good writing too.

Haute Macabre. I think I've mentioned them before but I really enjoy that spot.

Femina Potens. I don't live in SF but if I did I would spend a large amount of time there.

For the Tongue in Chic from the folks at the House of Bias. Delicious.


Most of these kinds of things are very thin white places. Which is unfortunate and sometimes disheartening also, sometimes it's intimidating.

Also unfortunate I don't really have the resources to be involved as much as I'd like and I'm not really contributing to diversity myself so I don't complain overmuch.

It's just a fact of life that must be dealt with like everything else. Is it perfect? No. Is it exactly to my tastes and ideas? No.

But since none of those places are my sandbox I'm not going to piss in other peoples litterboxes.

Like anything else, I believe that the more diverse of an audience things get, the more diverse they can become on a small scale if people get involved.

So that means make art, love art, appreciate art.

Okay enough for the day.

I don't feel so swell right now and I need some otc pain relievers and possibly some more tea.

I also need to (really need to) look for a new pair of pants.

Homo Out.

Also..before I forget I have a crap ton of new pictures to upload to my flickr and will probably post a link to those tomorrow.


I think that's really all. Going to work on my script and write a certain editor who shall remain nameless because he's dirty.


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My...milkshake brings all the boys to no.

Oh my darlings we have a fantastic letter from our homie Canelle but before I get to this let me say to Will.


I am so glad we (yes we, that includes you my homies)could be of some help. Now just for me, if you please. The next time you are with Wifey and Kidlet, grab them put on some music and shake it for joy. Or slow dance for joy. Hug each other, and kiss each other and laugh and be merry because you are on the right track and you have people cheering you and your family onto happiness.

Now let's get to Canelle's question. It's taken me a bit to formulate a response but here we go. And as usual my homies let's all
help our homegirl out okay?

Ready..steady GO GO GO.

I know you mostly give sex advice but does relationship stuff count too? I hope so! ('cuz I still haven't had sex yet)

I'm 22, slim, busty n' big bootied but a little shy and soft spoken at first but open up as I get to know the person. I'm very polite and humble; rudeness just isn't me.

I find it difficult to make friends with or even meet males I either haven't grown up with/aren't gay. I like hanging out with guys; they're so much fun! Beer and nachos! But then 99.99% of them are always trying to come onto me sexually beneath a "friendship ruse". Should I just be satisfied with the guy friends I have now and bury this issue?

My gay guy friends have said that men are intimidated by pretty girls. Is this true? Men stare at me everywhere I go.

I don't dress provocatively as I'm at school a lot, so I like my jeans and fitted shirts. I also wear little make-up but most guys never approach me. They just stare. What does this mean?

How do you meet boys, Nudiemuse? Why do they always stare and stare and STARE but never say anything to me? I don't get it! ;_; Also, how can you tell when a guy is genuinely interested in more than just your boobs? The bad ones seem so good at disguising their intentions. Am I doing something wrong?

Thank you!

Okay first Canelle I love you too.

I'm going to go about this a bit backwards but I have to tell you. From remembering my days as a big titty, smarty at your age, yes a lot of boys see boobs are are like, "OH BOOBIES...heee wait pretty girl..but OH GOD BOOOBIES LOOK AT HER BOOBIES" this internal dialogue can keep a young man from actually talking to you.

Also, a lot of men and women are just freaked out and feel weird and shy when presented with a smart, hot lady such as yourself. And some of us when we feel that way do indeed just stare. There is not a thing in the world wrong with you aside from your hotness, friendliness, smartness, awesome shoes, and niceness can be intimidating.

Take a second to take that in Canelle, you in your shy but friendly glory may well be quite intimidating to the boy types. So yes listen to your gays, your gays know these things and pretty girls are in fact intimidating.

Hell, I am 32 years old and can still be struck dumb by the right combination of the above traits.

Next okay, I will tell you honestly at your age a lot of young dudes are in fact trying to get laid. By and large men are at their sexual peak right around your age, and that being what it is want to get their party bits touched however they can.

And some dudes are just assholes about it.

Some aren't.

Now let me ask you a few questions sweetie, are you looking for a steady relationship? Do you want to just date a little?

This is important because, if you're looking for The Dude right away that can be scary when you're young. Some young guys aren't going to want to go there right now.

If you're looking to date, be upfront. I'm very glad you can see through the let's be friends but lemme touch your boobs thing, which if that works for you awesome, if it's not what you want let them know they aren't getting away with it.

If you happen on a boy who's doing that, but who you like try just telling them straight up, "Let's go on a date and skip the bullshit."

Granted some guys this is going to terrify and they might not talk to you. But dating like everything else is a numbers game.

Also dating doesn't have to be srs business. You don't -have- to be in a serious relationship. You only have to do what makes you feel good and happy.

I think you're probably on the right track for meeting boys. If you are into stuff like beer and nachos (WOOT) you'll meet boys. I will say that these days there are so many ways to meet people.

You could (and these things depend on many factors but these are off of the top of my head) join clubs, volunteer, do something you're really into.

That last one is awesome I think. I believe that meeting someone on some kind of common ground can be easier for some of us because you don't have that momentary, "OMG WTF DO I SAY HOLY SHIT BOOOBIES OMG OMGOMG" internal dialogue going on.

Personally at your age I wasn't super into actively trying to meet people specifically for dating. There was so much other stuff I wanted to get into, dating just kinda happened.

So, my bottom line advice to you darlin' is this.

You are not doing anything wrong, you're not weird, you are just fine.

Also, from my remembrances early twenties is a weird time. For a lot of folks. You've maybe not been out on your own a long time, you want to do all kinds of things, etc etc. You get me.

I say relax, hang with your gays. Even if a boy does that whole "let's be friends but lemme touch yer boobies" thing, if you like the boy set him straight and make a date. If you don't like the boy, you can nicely let them know that you can be friends, but the boob touching is out of the question.

Do stuff. Sounds awful simple doesn't it? But the truth is, I think you're on the right track. Keep doing stuff. And keep in mind that you Ms. Hotness can be intimidating so if the boys are just staring, that's probably why.

As for how to tell if a guy is genuinely interested in my experience they stick around. They talk to you, they hang out with you. And for the benefit of the guys, let me ask you to be gentle with them. A lot of young men are not all the way awesome yet at that age. Cut our peen bearing homies some slack.

They don't have the meet someone thing down yet either.

Now I turn it over to my smart and wonderful readers. Any other advice my homies? Boys, I know there are some of you out there can you give our lady here some tips?

Those of you who are coupled up, what worked for you? For you single folks what are you doing to meet people?

Are boys staring at you too?

Okay my darlings. Time for me to get back to work on my script frenzy project.

Also, look for a make up post on the Cheekan this week I have some budget stuff to review and some tips on being fabulous on a tight budget for those of us in the US and abroad.

Ready...GO GO GO.

Homo Out.


Friday, April 10, 2009

Fluffy assed Friday..and win.

Has it been all week since I've posted?

The season changes are always a weird time for me. As in physically, the time change, my allergies deciding to see how it feels to dry fuck themselves into raging holes of evil, allergy meds not working, weird eating habits, etc.

Springtime always puts me in a weird brain place.

This not withstanding I will be back to my usual glittery ranty self in short order.

Until then can I pimp some stuff?

If you don't know this isn't my only venue for writing. This last year or so I have become very serious about my writing and honing my craft (gods that sounds so fucking pretentious) and I am really happy to share some of my recent publications with you all.

For some of my (this story is seriously the third flash piece that I did on purpose ever) flash fiction head on over to this excellent webzine Diddle Dog. That link is just to my story but check out some of their other stuff it's awesome.

And some of my poetry here at Opium 2.0.

The one I am incredibly proud of, and been most excited about of late is this piece 'Goodbye L.A' currently up at The Legendary. It's not quite erotica but it is pretty explicit. What I love about this one is it's visual proof to me that I can trust my voice and my instincts. And it's proof of just how far my writing has come since I started this crazy adventure as more than scribbling in a paper journal when I was eight.

Something has shifted in my brain and instead of fretting about how not like a lot of my favorite authors I am, I just write. And it works.

What else?

Oh can I tell you about how my eating has been wacked out all week and now I feel funny?

There are things that I like to eat that do not get along with my digestive system or other bodily system oriented things. Among these are dairy (which I've had a ton of. delicious cheese, awesome light super rich ice cream, milk in a coffee), and sugar.

Yesterday I had more sugar at one go than I normally have in two days or so and wow. Granted it was totally worth it, I had this piece of traditional Danish cake with cream, raspberry deliciousness and fucking marizipan on it but holywowomgwtfbbq!!!!!!1eleventy shit that was way more sugar than I should have at one time ever.

So lesson learned. I will refrain from taking in sugar on that level for like ever.


Oh right o.

I'm still crocheting away and have made some awesome things which I haven't had the chance to upload pics of as of yet. But, okay peoples. Informal poll time.

Do people need cheapish (not cheaply made, cheaply priced) Fall/winter wear? Crocheted hat and scarf/cowel combos? I have some sizing down because I am lucky enough to have heads to try them on.

Also, are organic cotton/bamboo/other organic material wash cloths, dishcloths etc something that is awesome or dumb?


I have grand ideas about getting my sewing skills up there and making some other stuff. For instance Loli-ish, gothy fripperies for us fatties. Boot covers, accessories, wearables that don't pinch or squeeze. I'm working on that part.

In other news.

I have seriously declared myself the Dowager Queen of all Fatassia and my boy prince is a stuffed bunny named Gary the Gay Glitter Bunny.

Remember to pass the word.

What else?


I think I'm about spent. I'm off to work on my screenplay and then possibly try not to pee on the floor in angst.

So my homies. Show me your links, show me links to your awesome photos, whatever you wanna show off. Now is the time to do it.

Noodz encouraged. Boys, I know there are some of you that means you too.

So have a fabu weekend my homies and haters.

Homo Out.


Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Whine with my cheese err, showing some emo.

I'm going to whine about accessorizing today.

As in apparently I've forgotten how.

There was a time when I had a vast array of accessories and some precious items that I wore daily without fail. And in the intervening years and moves, it seems I've lost pretty much all of them.

I am so terribly picky about these things that I'm finding it exceedingly difficult to find things that I a.) love and b.) can afford.

Being that I don't have the monetary resources or know how to make a lot of my own jewelry I find myself looking through masses of Etsy pages and all over ebay.

I also find I'm not sure what I like.

So the conundrum continues.

I have decided that I like large bold things. I like things that are slightly weird (see my love of jewelry feature cephalopods), I like strange shaped things. I have been known to wear dead computer parts as accessories.

As I get older I have this insane desire to hone my aesthetic and expand my wardrobe so I can outwardly express more of what I'm feeling.

It's a weird thing, this isn't really a feeling I've had since my early twenties and it's both exciting and frustrating. It's difficult for me to let myself save up and spend money on accessories for some reason.

In many ways this is one of those moments (like in this entry) where I have a disconnect and my wants are shunted into the silly and time wasting category.

I keep feeling like this is among the last bastions of that bad place in my heart. That bad place that spawns the ugly feelings that I am not worth the effort, and that I shouldn't be so desirous of these sparkly fripperies.

It never ceases to amaze me just how hard this process can be and sometimes, I will admit that I get really depressed over it.

It's not so much the not having the physical things, it's the sick feelings. It's the feeling that even though I've come so far in terms of how I treat myself, and in how I love myself that there's still this huge fucking landmine in my psyche.

Me being who I am, I deal with depression by getting really angry. I get so angry at myself I can make myself physically ill and I'm really tired of doing that. I'm tired of going in this viscous cycle of depression, anger over my own depression, stomach ache, then more anger because I feel stupid and ashamed for feeling these things.

The thing that galls me more often than not is my inability to process this and keep it pushing.

For instance.

This morning as I was getting dressed in my fluffy skirts (pics tomorrow) and new Fuschia merona brand footless tights (full write up review of these and some others later on) and I couldn't find my shoes.

Now most of the time it's not that big a deal. But, I've come to a year in which I don't have a lot of shoes. I have one pair of wearable flats (I'm wearing now), one pair of sandals that I don't like to wear because no matter what I do the bottoms are very slippery and I feel like my feet are sliding out of them as I walk and I fall down, and I have boots.

It's spring and I don't want to wear boots so I had this awful few moments of upset and then the vicious circle, and then (even now)I felt stupid and ashamed for being so upset.

I felt ashamed because (probably again stemming from time spent in awful and serious poverty) I have shoes and should be thankful.

I am stuck in the place between have and have not.

And I hate it.

It's not an economic problem per se, it's a whole problem because of the way I tend to spend and how I feel about spending and how I feel deep down about making myself feel pretty.

You see where I'm going here?

My general mindset when it comes to economics goes like this.

Pay bills.
Save a little for monetary doom (which has happened to me enough that I am -very- paranoid about it, matter of fact unexpected bills, bills higher than usual can send me into a panic spiral)
Feel guilty about wanting pretties, maybe get a pretty, feel bad about said pretty, consider selling said pretty, keep said pretty but feel bad about it.
Eventually enjoy pretty enough to enjoy it.

The one thing that saves me from this sometimes is my thrifting/finding deals.

However, there's still that want sometimes to have something that is nice and brand new.

Having brand new off the rack clothes is a huge thing for me. Which is a huge part of the reason I'd like to open an etsy store and why I'm so wibbly about getting presents. There are complicated and vast reasons that feeling like I haven't earned something makes me feel weird.

I have a hard time even accepting gifts from people I've known for a decade.

I'm not often a crier but, that can bring me to tears.

Wow this went way deeper than I'd anticipated.

I sat here for a bit and considered not posting because (a-ha moment yes?) I realized that I am still deeply and terribly ashamed at what I perceive as personal weakness and I hate whining in front of people.

Can I say at the end here that I have a new goal of being more honest and in my feelings, even when they hurt the shit out of me and embarrass me?

So now I turn to you guys I need help. I need advice from you my peers and smart people who's brains I value.

What do I do?

How do I process this kind of pain in a way that isn't self destructive?

How do you deal with these feelings?

Help me out, let's help each other out.

So meanwhile I am going to take a breath. And to tell you the honest truth try not to feel like such a whiny jackhole for showing my emo ass today.

And I'm going to try very hard to feel good about showing my emo ass today because I know how hard it is for me.

Homo Out.


Monday, April 06, 2009

My darling dears.

My advice to our homie Will has sparked more thought which I will probably get to tomorrow.

Today the sun is shining and I am longing for some comfy summery/springy shoes.

I am also indulging my inner lounge singer and singing along with Nina Simone at my desk.

Singing that song, about an octave lower than Ms. Simone because my voice is rather deep.

Moving along.

SO in exciting news I am going to be opening an Etsy store and selling affordable things. To start with some crocheted hat and scarf/cowl sets. Then later on I will be making some affordable hand bags etc and other things as I learn to create them.

That isn't happening for a few months yet. I'd like to make enough things to keep me going for a bit first so I've been crocheting my wee arse off.

Among the things I'd like to be making aside from the aformentioned, silly gothy fripperies. Silly house decorations. Desk whoozy whatsits. Perhaps some geeky hand embroidered samplers? Pervy samplers? I'm researching.

In other financial news a few people have asked (and dudes I've been debating mentioning this for ages because I feel weird) but being that etsy doesn't have a buyable wishlist function and whatnot here we go.

I really want a laptop. Like really want one. So if you'd like to donate to the cause of getting Shannon a laptop feel free to use my Amazon wishlist and send me an egift card . Please seriously no huge ones. Alternately shop my affiliate amazon webstore. I've been going all colors of crazy adding products and will continue to do so.

Or sign up to be an Amazon affiliate through me that would be the awesome. Of if you're gonna buy through Babeland how about using my link on the sidebar there to do it?

And since a few other people have asked, no I don't make money off of doing this. I think the whole time I used adsense (prior to getting kicked off for an entry that said fuck too many times I shit you not) I think in 4 years I made 4 dollars. I tried out some other affiliate type stuff but it's just not my thing.

Okay enough of that.

Back to my current need for shoes.

Being that my budget for most of the summer is going to be way tighter than I'd originally planned for due to the way paychecks fall and having to pay rent twice more months than I'd like, I will probably only get one or two pairs.

I have been stalking ebay and think I might splurge on one pair and get some kickass mary janes (have my eyes on some Keen's and Danskos), and some slides.

I'm kind of over ballet flats because for some reason every pair that I've tried on recently fits weird or cuts the back of my ankle.

I have a pair of Torrid silver ballet flats I am probably going to sell because they run small and a bit narrower than usual. And I have a jeansskirt to sell that I'll probably offer over at Inbetweenies. It's an ON size 12 and just a bit too tight and high waisted for my taste. Not quite the look I was going for.

What else?

OH fucking hell man, I have been dreaming about maxi dresses. Plain or fancy fabric soft long flowing comfy dresses. However I don't think I have the budget to buy as many as I want so I may have to try and make them.


Wow I'm spent. Scriptfrenzy is kicking my ass as is some other writing I'm working on.

So tell me my homies, what's new and fabulous with you?

Favorite deals?

Have some hot sexxin' over the weekend?

Do something else awesome?

Tell me what is new and fabulous.

Homo Out.

Friday, April 03, 2009

This is a juicy one.

Today my darlings we have a really excellent question from Will. Let's get to it shall we? I broke it up into parts and let's go.

Will I'm SO glad you asked.

Okay, my wife seems to think my sex drive is unnaturally high, and that I don't concentrate on being a father as well as I should. My wife is a beautiful woman, and I'm a healthy young man who wants his lover back. It seems like our 2 year old son has become an anti-sex shield for my wife, who never had a very high libido to begin with. But she used to try, you know? She used to touch and kiss me more. There were days when she'd even initiate sex with me. Now, she refuses to do any of these things, and gets angry when I try to initiate with her. "We're adults now," She says. "We have to concentrate on being parents. We don't have time for sex." Or, "Honey, I'm tired. I don't feel like it."

This has been going on since my son was born. Needless to say I'm hurt and a little confused. I'm at the point where masturbation simply won't do, and she doesn't like porn, which might actually be interesting. I feel like my only options are: a) have an affair, b) accept defeat and continue to be forcibly celibate, or c) divorce her.

Okay Will we've got a meaty meaty question here. First thing, congratulations on your baby. That is wonderful.

Let's take things bit by bit.

I'll tell you I've known many many women who've had babies and at some point many of them have expressed that no, they don't feel like being touched. The fact is a lot of women spend all day with someone (being the baby) hanging onto them. It doesn't mean they don't like their kids, or don't like you for that matter but, it can be rough.

Let me ask you, does your wife stay at home to take care of the baby? Does your wife get any time to herself to just chill out without you or said baby?

I know for me personally, having some alone time without anybody no matter how much I love them is extremely important to me. Let's talk about libido and women for a minute here.

I think a lot of men don't really understand sometimes how complicated a womans libido can be. It's not always just a matter of wanting to do it or not.

For many women hormone levels, stress, having babies, being married etc can all work against her libido. Is your wife healthy? Have you two talked openly and honestly (and yes your feelings might get hurt sweetheart) about what she does or doesn't need? For a lot of us lady types, wanting to have sex can be hindered by so many outside things and sometimes we just need to get it out, and get it clear to get our groove back.

Now let's talk about you.

Do you express affection without the expectation of sex to your wife? Sometimes people don't think that if someone is already experiencing libido problems that the way in which you are expressing yourself physically could be stressing her out and adding to the problem.

Think about it this way, there's a huge difference between giving someone a hug and kiss just to give them a hug and kiss, than there is in giving someone a hug and kiss and giving them sexual energy. Still with me?

Do you find yourself putting pressure on her for sex? Whether it's conscious or unconscious, it can be difficult for both of you. You get frustrated and I imagine she might be hurt.

As for her saying that you don't have time for sex do you? Granted sometimes some hot lovin' is just the thing to end a stressful day or make the day go by more quickly but, sometimes we're just really too tired.

If she's expressing that being parents makes being sexual a no go, could there be other underlying issues?

I think that you two should maybe sit down together in a non-sexual situation and you can ask her why it is that she thinks this. Now this conversation might get weird and heated, she might not want to talk about it but sometimes these things are necessary.

When you are talking, don't make the things she says about how you feel or don't feel. I know a lot of people, myself included sometimes don't want to hurt our lovers feelings so we're not always as open as we could be. You have to work together to make it so you have that good open space to communicate.

And, be quiet. Let each other talk.

Now as for how to handle it that's tougher.

Unless you and your wife have an agreement about having sex with other people don't have an affair. I firmly believe that what works in a marriage or relationship is up to the people in it however, I think dishonesty is very destructive.

That being said.

I don't think you have to think of this situation as a defeat. It's not a fight or a war this is your relationship.

You can't approach your relationship the way you might approach a problem at work. You have to work, you have to listen, you have to be willing to do your part and change as does your partner.

None of these options are very appealing to me, but I don't know what else to do.

My question is, is there a way of reigniting some sexual response in her? Do I wait until she's asleep, put the boy into his own bed, and stroke her until she gets hot for me? Or am I just doomed to failure, here?

Okay do not do that. Just don't.

I know you're frustrated, desperate and upset but do not wait until she's asleep to start touching her. It's disrespectful and rapacious. It is not okay to have sexual contact with people without their consent. If you have been doing that, it's not helping your cause.

Also (I'm not saying this is what you're proposing but I want you to be very aware) be very very aware that the above can be construed as spousal rape which is never ever ok.

Never okay.

What you didn't mention is how other areas of your marriage are. Are you having financial trouble? Are there other things going on?

Your best move at this point may be to ask her to go to couples counseling. I do get the feeling there may be more going on than just your wife's libido not being what it used to be.

The bottom line is how much do you want to invest in the whole of your relationship?

Sex is very important to a lot of us, but it's only a part of what makes up a relationship.

Maybe suggesting counseling might be overwhelming to for you right out of the box.

How about you get a babysitter, make your wife a nice dinner, sit her down and look into her eyes and ask, "are you okay?"

Now as you're doing this, your wife might get uncomfortable and anxious. She might think it's just a ploy to get in her pants and that's okay. Reassure her that you want to talk, that you care enough to take some time out of your busy busy lives to check on her.

Maybe, she just really feels overwhelmed being a new Mama, maybe she really wants some time to herself so she can have a bath or read a book. Maybe she needs to be reassured that whether or not her libido is as fired up as yours, you still really care what's going on with her.

I truly believe that when you are in a relationship based on love respect and all those awesome things, you have to work damn hard. You have to deal with your own anxieties and frustrations, pay bills, take care of your partner, take care of yourself and it's all a big ole ball of stress sometimes.

But if you're in it to win it Will, get to work.

In the meantime (until you get counseling or have your talk) start teaching yourself to be mindful. If your wife seems overwhelmed maybe help her out. Do the dishes, bathe the baby, take out the trash, make the bed, do the laundry. Don't expect high praise or pats on the head just do it.

Make the effort to not just tell your wife verbally how much you love and want her, show her.

Now readers, be gentle. Let's help out our homie Will some more.

If you were Will or Will's wife what would you want or do? Have you experienced this sort of thing? What did you do.

I trust and love my readers Will so I believe we'll get you some more awesome advice.

Also please report back. Ask me more. Ask our readers more. And Will, let me tells you hell yes for asking. FUCK YEAH WILL. FUCK YEAH.

And anyone else, have a question? Have one of those burning questions you're too embarassed to ask anyone else? Techniques? Porn? Want to know what the fuck is going on with whatever? Ask me.

Now my darlings my darlings I am off.

ScriptFrenzy is going well.

I will have some new short fiction up soon that I am FUCKING STOKED about because it's going in a kickass webzine.


Also next week look for some SuperFatty Crafting Skills updates because my skills, they have activated.

Okay laters.

I command everyone to spend at least five minutes between now and the next time you see me here on the intertubes do something that is silly and fabulous.

Make faces, roll around on the floor with your dog, put on some underwear and dance around your house to 80's music. Give yourself a facial, massage your own neck, masturbate, do whatever that makes you feel fancy.

Feel free to tell me about it after you've done it.

Homo Out.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

What's cooking.

I'll warn you folks. Posting will probably be a bit light this month because I have duped decided to do Script Frenzy. 100 pages of script, in my case a screen play in the month of April.

I've been reading a new blog called Haute Macabre and I believe I may be in a bit of lust with it. I LOVED todays post.

There is something that makes me so incredibly happy thinking about and fantasizing about having the resources to dress as outlandishly as I please all the time.

Can you imagine how joyful and awesome that would be?

Granted I'd walk around from day to day probably looking like an avant garde fashion show threw up all over me but it would be awesome.

However, there are things to consider. I can't walk in super high heels anymore, I don't drive thus must bow to Mother Nature's whims unless I want to freeze my ass off. Also I walk a lot and must be mindful of that.

The fantasy is fun though.

While on the subject of hotness I'm publicly stating my hardcore girlcrush on Mollena.

Also go read this post at The Best Sex Bloggers about a Bondage Wedding. That looks so lovely. I just love pictures like the ones in that post. Look at those happy beautiful faces. That is love.

I also highly suggest checking out the post about the International Miss Leather thing.

Earlier today on my way to work I was thinking about firsts. There are so many things I've never done that I would like to.

For instance.

I've never been to a Con of any sort.

My big reason for this has been that I've never had enough money to invest in the costuming and travel.

Something I really really want to go to is the Labyrinth of Jareth Masquerade ball in LA. Not this year but at some point I really want to go.

Looking at the pictures I am fairly certain I would be seriously into it. Look at all the sparkly costumes and whatnot how much fun would that be?

The whole idea of going to something like that wakes up my inner child and makes her crap glitter in excitement.

A girl can dream no?

Okay my darlings. My peen having straight man friend, your advice is coming up Thursday or Friday.

Now I am off to continue script writing.

Homo Out.

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