I am frustrated internets.
So if you're new or not playing along at home I have a hard time letting out my frustrations and being emotionally up front when there are issues.
I have mega fuck tons of shit that I really need to do but not enough energy or time to do it all.
This is frustrating.
My allergies are on the warpath this year and I don't feel good.
Frustrating as fuck.
Also I am feeling the economic fuckery and it hurts.
It's not in a OH I need shiny things kind of way but in the, oh shit I need shoes so how many hours of OT should I work kind of way.
I'm not new to this sort of thing it's just yanno frustrating.
I keep having weird random shit not go my way and it's frustrating.
One of the things that causes me the most stress is when my ability to do things is outpaced by my ambitions.
Compounding my stress is that some of this I can't do anything about right now.
I hate that.
Anyway, that is the state of things. I am stressed out.
Which leads me to the following.
Generally speaking, Spring is usually a time when I do all that rebirth, change yadda yadda shit but this year I just feel really ambivalent about it.
I am alternately just plain exhausted and then pissed off. I'm just a big ball o' frustrated ranty cranky pissypants.
This is part of the reasons posting has been light. There's shit to talk about but, again the frustration+stress=cranky and tongue tied.
So pretty much, you can picture me flapping my arms in consternation then just squawking FUCK FUCK FUCK.
I'm dealing as best I can.
Trying to take good care of myself, tackling one thing at a time.
The first thing I am going to tackle in the near future is my terrible lack of comfortable summer foot wear.
Back in November I bought two pairs of Torrid flats during the Black Friday sale that were supposed to be my summer shoes.
The silver pair either run a size and a half small or were mislabeled. And the black shiny pair while cute is just ill fitting enough that when I walk they cut the shit out of the backs of my heels.
Also despite my measuring myself a few of my summer ebay finds don't fit properly so I'm going to have to get rid of them.
So I've been on the hunt for footwear and I've got my eye on my first pair of thong sandals, my homie Cookie swears by Reefs so if I can raise $$ I will buy a pair on Ebay.
Unfortunately for me none of the shoes I've tried on recently at Target or Payless have fit well at all or been appropriate for my days full of walking.
So after some fund raising on my part I will report back.
I do have a pair of slightly too big slide on sandals that if I'm not walking too fast or too much I can wear.
There we have it.
Tonight, I am going to go home and exfoliate until my ass feels like silk. Then I am going to paint my toenails. Then I'm going to moisturize and braid my hair to attempt (note the attempt part) a faux afro puff for tomorrow. Not sure I will accomplish that since I've not tried it before.
I'm also going to write some more on my script. Take a deep breath and remind myself I am not nor am I "supposed" to be Super Woman.
I can be upset and it's ok.
So take my frazzled, upset, flaily self as a reminder to be good to yourselves my homies and haters.
Gods know we all need some love.