Okay I started this forever ago now but wanted to make sure I was presenting what I wanted to say in the way I wanted to.
Over the weekend I got an anonymous question from a regular reader. I won't repost the whole thing here as she'd like to remain totally anonymous. Essentially what she wants to know about is my experience in this sort of body as an adult.
She admitted that she's one of the people who looks at someone like me and thinks inwardly that I am not really fat and she does not understand the place of someone like me in the fat community. She said it hadn't occurred to her prior to finding smaller fat folks on the Fatosphere and in Fatshionista on LJ that smaller fat folks would have any of the same sort of problems pretty much at all.
So some of the issues I have personally (Now I may be Queen of all I Survey however the vote is still out among the smaller fat folks about who is queen) experienced and experience daily.
One of the things that probably bothers me the most at this size is the assumption by the world at large that I am a work in progress. That I am at the midway point between some 'horrifying' before picture and the 'lovely' after picture. I think at the size I am which is probably a little larger than average in spots (I'll get to that later, that has to do with proportion) it is assume that I am actively losing weight.
And when I correct people on this point a lot of them get pissed off.
Most of the time I can let that roll off of my back. Sometimes, it's a really fucked up thing to deal with.
I think that too many people feel far more comfortable trying to exert their will over another persons body when said body is close to what they think it should be. What can often be construed as a privilege is sometimes an ass flavored burden.
So there's that kind of thing.
Doctors. Can we talk about health care for a minute?
I have had countless doctors give me the following speech in one way or another.
"If you just cut down (insert whatever here) and do more (insert other whatever here) you'll lose those last 20 pounds in no time."
Now usually those conversations lead to me being angry because after asking me once and I decline the "weight help" how about just fucking treating me for what I came for?
For me personally as I have probably mentioned size is way less of an issue for me personally than economics is. Frankly, I'm of the mind that regardless of the size of another human being if they have awesome fatshion advice or whatever I'm down to listen. Even if it doesn't pertain to my currently size 14/16 ass.
My advice my anonymous friend, is this.
I can't tell you the Inbetweenie/smaller fat experience. What I can tell you is what goes on in my slice of the universe. I highly advocate that you and whomever else instead of focusing that this person is not the same size as me, instead take that set of blinders off and actually look at what that person with the different ass is saying.
For instance (I'm totally talking about you here Lesley) Lesley over at Fatshionista.com has an entirely different body shape than I do. Like even if we wore the same size, our bodies are still entirely different. Now that being what it is, I could reasonably say that I don't read her fashion posts because we are so different.
But, I fucking love Lesley. Her aesthetic is not mine, our bodies are way different but I think she has some ass kicking style and after being a regular reader of her wardrobe posts I've been clued into some shops and deals I would have otherwise never heard of.
Now because I have stayed with the fashion posts, that has led me to her other posts which are equally awesome.
See what I did there?
This also ties in with the whole diversity and intersectionality thing in the fat community.
There are lots of folks in the Fat community talk about a lot of things. If you can only deal with one sort of fat talk, then you're not going to get the richness and full awesome flavor that the fat community has to offer.
Additionally it's not the job of bloggers or even groups of bloggers to make sure that readers are exposed to diverse voices. The onus of that is on the person taking in the information. If diversity is important to you, you have to take the responsibility to either learn to find diverse voices or points of view that are different than yours.
If you can't hack it, or can't widen your horizons to take in those other voices it's your fucking loss. No really it is.
You can't just talk about wanting this or that to magically appear in a community, chances are it's out there. It's up to you to find it.
I had more planned to say but I seriously digressed so I'll save that for another post.
So to end it, again my homies feel free to ask me anything you wanna. You can do it anonymously via my form there (sexytimes questions, wardrobe questions, whatever questions) and if you ask I won't quote your question word for word.
All this said, I am off. I need some water to counteract my mega assload of coffee I've had today.
I love you guys.