Tuesday, June 23, 2009


I know posting has been light. Mainly because I've been in other writing overdrive.

I've also been very in my head in a thinky sort of manner.

I realized something recently as I had to slow my pace walking up a bit of an incline due to pain in my knee areas that I have unconsciously been pushing my limits in ways that are not good for me.

I have a problem with this.

I have had this similar kind of problem since I was a teenager.

It's a huge challenge for me to separate what is healthy and normal and what could be pathological and potentially dangerous when it comes to exercise.

I forget how to listen carefully to my body and pay attention when it says bitch stop.

There is a disconnect going on and it takes a lot of work and energy on my part to mend it before I fuck myself up.

I have to continually remind myself in stern terms not to be such a fucking dick to myself. Not to blame myself when my knees are hurting or my back hurts. I have to remind myself that while I may be mighty I am not unbreakable and breaking myself is just a shitty thing to do.

Also (I will probably talk more about this in particular at some later date) spiritually it is not at all awesome for me to be treating myself like a punching bag metaphorically speaking. Not at all.

It is of utmost importance to treat my body like the sacred thing it is. It is a temporary home but goddamn it I need to make sure my roof ain't leaking? You know?

To that end. I am going to take a few minutes when I get home and have a nice chat with myself. Possibly if I'm not in too much pain spend some time dancing.

In other news.

I have some awesome sexytimes advice for a special homie.

I am also working on what may potentially be a small anthology of my own brain spew to put out on Lulu.


Also, I am seriously trying to work up the courage to go get my first professional pedicure. I have a serious thing with people, especially strangers touching my feet. But I would like my toenails to look cute since I have some cute sandals and am not great at doing my own toes.

I seriously curled my toes in my shoes thinking about it. I am freaked out.

Ummmmm...anything else?

Okay yeah my head is not in the game my friends. I've got writing to do and whatnot.

So remember, I love you my homies. Be nice to yourselves even when you know you're being a douche.

Homo Out.



BirdyLu said...

Long time lurker; luv what you have to say. I bet you make an awesome BBF! Some advice for you...take a deep breath and plunge those tootsies into the warm, bubbly foot bath, you won't regret it. You'll be surprised how sexy a pedi will make you feel, esp. when those lovely, polished toes are looking back at you from some cute sandals. I'll be that your first won't be your last. Enjoy!!

kristin said...

You really are twelve kinds of awesome. I always look forward to reading your blog.

Today's entry is especially good since I am having some serious knee and foot pain and it's good to be reminded that it isn't my fault. I was born with a weird foot thing which messed up my arch and the balance of my feet, which then messes with my knees. And I work retail, in a store with CONCRETE floors.

Anyway! Thank you for the reminder to not be a dick to myself. :)

ps get the pedicure. truly- I don't like strangers touching my feet (bunions and the weird foot "defect" made my toes curl under each other. I'm working on not be worried about not having so-called cute feet) but the warm spa bath and the pumice-ing (pumicing?) and the massage and the cute nail polish? It's a good reward for doing something hard.

Weightless One said...

I have to remind myself that while I may be mighty I am not unbreakable and breaking myself is just a shitty thing to do.

That line is made of awesome. I may have to remind myself of it regularly when my ankles are giving me hell and I try to keep going.

Charlie Fultz said...

When we're younger, it sure seems like we can do harsh things to our body and we bounce right back. But I can tell now as I age that my body doesn't bounce back like it used to. I too am learning to listen to my body and try to respond appropriately to its pleas and requests. Aging sucks balls.

WRT the pedicure... I highly recommend it! I've paid for one and gotten a few from my wife (a cosmetologist), and they are amazing! If possible, get it done as close to bed time as possible. Its great to get it done and then go to bed.

mccn said...

For me, learning to accept my body's limitations - some of which I was born with, others I've discovered more recently (like fibromyalgia meaning I should stop doing things before I'm tired, for example) - is a staggering drunk. I take a step forward, and two back. Then another forward. Then I sit down. Then I go back. I feel like this is something that really requires "management" - I just have to talk to myself about it. One thing that helps me is to think of some of my awesome support system - my partner, my awesome endo. I'll ask myself "if you told Dr. P that you were working out and it started to really hurt, and you kept going, what would she say? She would say, figure out what it was that made it hurt if you can, next time, STOP when it hurts so you don't have to recover as hard, and see if you can stop your workout a little before the pain-point next time, or work a little less fiercely. Because hurting yourself is not good health!" So sometimes those speeches help me. (And sometimes I say, too bad, and suffer the consequences. :) )

I hate hate hate hate hate having people touch my feet. I have gotten a few pedicures - the first thing I did was watch them really carefully to see what they did. Then I went and bought a bunch of stuff from the drugstore, and now I do the pedicures myself, with their techniques. :) (Don't forget, pleez, I have something to send you! mary c squared at hotmail dot com).

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