Monday, July 27, 2009

Not what you think it is.

Okay this has little to do with fat or sex.

But people are pissing me off lately.

This is about the First Amendment in the US.

This is the first amendment.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

It never fails that people when they are revving up to say something stupid invariably squawk about it's my right, blablablabla.

Now if you read that carefully no where does it say that Uncle Sam will protect you from your own big mouth.

I fully support and defend freedom of speech. I fully and truly believe you can say whatever the fuck you wanna.

You can shout it from the rooftops.

You can paint it on your forehead and march down the street.

I fully support that.


However, no where in the First Amendment does it say that your ass will be protected once you show it.

By which I mean, the First Amendment does not protect you from the consequences of your own actions.

If you want to say something hateful, go right on ahead.

However don't bitch when you get called out on it.

Because as you are probably well aware, Freedom of Speech doesn't just mean Freedom of Speech from people who agree with you.

So if you want to say whatever you wanna, be prepared.

Put your cup on or your super shielding pussy protector because someone is gonna want to kick you in your lady or manballs.

Not literally, metaphorically.

No I don't think people should be assaulted.

Stay with me.

Say it with me, If I run my mouth I will probably get caught.



Sexytimes tomorrow I've had a hard day at work.

Homo Out.

Also, further explanation of today's cranky is possible at a later date.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Oh my what big boobies you have.

The title is in reference to something a wee little old lady said to me at a wedding once. I recall I was wearing a champagne colored dress that had velvet on the top and had just squeezed my boobs into it (Oh that bride and her insistence that it be -that- dress) so there was some serious boobage going on. Anyhow I remember little else of the wedding except for this delighted little old lady who was very excited about my boobs. She was fabulous.

I also remember that she had on an original vintage 60's era Chanel suit that was a-fucking-mazing. She bought it back then and it was pristine.

Moving along.

I know last night I said I was going to talk fat fetishwear but I'm not in the mood. So it's just the fat fashions today.

So if you're new to me I will tell you that my (at it's most basic level) personal aesthetic is pretty much on the Goth Side of the Force.

My tastes run the gambit from PVC/Vinyl shiny, to ruffles romatigoth, to weird Lolita inspired things, to my current desire to create an outfit that makes me feel like a Noir vixen who's been time travelled and resides in the Bat Cave.

For quite a few years my wardrobe suffered a serious identity crisis.

The root cause was that I found myself sized out of a lot of my go to labels for clothes (Lip Service I'm looking at you) then priced out.

Lately, my want to re-fabulous my wardrobe has led me to a new plan of attack in terms of how to get what I want at prices I can afford.

It starts with basics.

I -still- need a shitload of basics because most of mine are just raggedy.

I am slowly but surely building up my staples from places that those of you on the Goth side of the force with me might not think of.

Let's talk shirts first.

I like plainer shirts. I have big titties and don't want or need sparkly twiddly things on them.

That being what it is I give you Target.

Yes Target.

For the first time in a long time (my recent issues with Target not withstanding) Target has (mostly online my local store sucks) tons of low priced comfortable plain shirts that I love.

For instance I am right now wearing the Ultimate cami from this page. Now for the fit I wanted (tight and body hugging) I went for the Juniors version in XL. It's comfortable, the straps are adjustible and it's stretchy but not so stretchy I feel lost in it. I think it was 7.50.

These are not things that are made to last but at the price I can afford to buy more than one and I really like them.

So far I have four or five of these types of tops and they have held up to washing okay and haven't faded. So if you need layering pieces or are like me and just like some plain shirts to build around, these are good. And the plus size stuff goes up to 26-28 in some things.

Unfortunately for me I don't think a lot of their plus size items are going to fit me properly. I tried on a couple of the available shirts labeled with their Torridish plus sizing labels and they fit in the shoulders and boobs but were too long and just not right for me.

That said, if you're taller than I am (I'm 5'3") or are more apple shaped, they could work for you so try em out.

Now despite my lust for more gothy accessories and fripperies I've decided to work on getting more staples instead.

So between now and when it's cold I need to get a pair of awesome trousers because I love a good pair of trousers. I also need some cardigans, tights, a new pair of black boots, vneck sweaters, OTK socks and perhaps a good black button up.

Most of that I will be able to thrift or find on sale so I'm not overly worried.

After I get that stuff oh the fun begins.

In a less fashiony OH SHINY vein, I think it's incredibly important to grab your fabulous when you feel like you're losing it.

I don't mean that you have to wear make up or fancy clothes etc. What I'm talking about is the feeling.

That feeling when you say to yourself, "Oh HELL YES".

I've been losing mine and I'm taking it the fuck back.

Shitty knees, back and skin freaking out be damned.

I am the only being in the universe who can instill that feeling in me. I am the only one who can Make. It. Happen.

And it happens from the inside and the rest is all bullshit glitter and decoration.

This feeling doesn't come from dieting, punishing yourself, etc.

It won't come from hating yourself or promising to "love" yourself when you're an after picture.

See what I'm saying here?

Okay that's all. I'm very very tired and I am going to make some more tea and possibly eat a cookie.

Homo Out.

(Oh balls this reminds me, I really need to put my AC link back up here. Remember self clicks=pennies.)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Everybody is doing it.

So much sexy sexy and so little time. I had planned on doing one big sexytimes advice thingy but, I want to pay closer attention.

First up we have an update from our darling virgin from this entry. (I am right aren't I?) Has been having some sex. I was assured that they were safe and had a good time.


Can we do a group happy dance?


My now doing it homie I will answer both of your questions on Thursday or Friday.

Now from Cupcake we have this excellent question:

I'm a virgin, but I consider myself to have a fairly high sex drive, and masturbate fairly regularly. Something I've noticed, however, is that after my first one or two orgasms, it becomes more difficult to orgasm, and if I want to have another, holding my breath until I almost pass out seems to help me orgasm.

I've heard of autoerotic asphyxiation, and know a little bit about that, but first I wanted to put the question out there: is it common for most people to achieve difficult orgasms by withholding their breath? A great majority of my friends are sexually active, but it's not a question I'm comfortable asking them, so I turn to you, <3

I love you too Cupcake.

And from a Nameless Peenhavinghomie I got a very similar question that he requested I don't post verbatim.

Okay babies check it out.

Breathe in my universe is a serious part of orgasm one way or the other.

Not to get into super super specifics but the short answer is yes, lots of people hold their breathe in order to get to that next or even their first orgasm.

I personally am naturally inclined to do that but I've learned over the years that I will most likely just give myself a headache doing that so I (aside from over the years spending lots of time having at myself) tried altering my breathing instead.

For some people, hyperventilating themselves is the way to go. After your first orgasm try easing up on the stimulation and taking long deep breaths from your diaphragm as if you're about to sing or yell.

Now when you are not with a partner I really strongly suggest not doing any kind of breath denial play with yourself. I don't think it's a good idea at all.

You can also experiment with breathing patterns. Short breaths for however long, then a few long ones etc.

Or you can actually try instead of increasing stimulation and pressure while you're masturbating ease up for awhile and let your body recover.

Indulge yourself during your refractory period. Maybe during that time frame focus on different kinds of stimulation. Play with your nipples, or whatever other skin feels appealing and go back to it.

I think the important thing is to figure out different ways to pleasure your particular body. Both of you, Cupcake and my Peenhavinghomie respectively.

The upshot here is that while I do think breath play is fun I do think that it's not a safe thing to do by yourself. I also think that if you're not having sex with a partner there is no better time to teach yourself different ways of achieving orgasms and thus you'll be super prepared for your partners.

SO my prescription is as follows for both of you and for everyone else.

Masturbate a lot.

Touch yourself in new and exciting ways.

Work it out.

Report back.

Okay my homies I've had a busy day. Thursday look forward to talk about blowjobs, new lovers and oh yes, more sexytimes advice.

So this means I'm back and feelin pretty awake and awesome.

Allergies and joints are still being fuckers but meh.

OH and before I go I'm a featured author at Outside Writers today and I am really proud of this piece go read it here.

Goodnight darlings.

Homo Out.

Monday, July 20, 2009

OH I am itchy.

I am having a bit of a week.

I am all kinds of out of sorts for varying reasons including, everything makes me itchy.

It's not the regularly oh my allergies suck kind of itchy but the my body is about to have a disco freakout over everything it comes into contact with kind of itchy.

So I am putting most of my skin care items away and going back to cocoa butter and African Black soap until this fuckery passes.

And now a picture of the other big issue I'm having right now.


That is my knee. That is the knee that swells and makes me walk funny and I am still right in that place of trying not to be angry about it but it's so fucking hard. So hard.


There are awesome things.

MCCN sent me this fantastic necklace that I forgot to upload pictures of and it was so sweet. So sweet and the card was beautiful and I got teary.

Also someone (Forgive me I don't remember your name) sent me 5$. I had no idea until the other day and you are so sweet.

I am thankful that awesome people remain in the world.

I am dreadfully and woefully behind on reading blogs. My attention span is pretty much OH SHINY...wait where was I?

Case in point I seriously started this on Friday.

Okay so Sunday Uniballer and I tootled about town running errands and I wanted to head into Target to a.) look for new foundation and b.) check out the clearance racks.

Dear Target, you fucking fail.

So my first issue with Target right now is that the plus size clothes are mixed in with the maternity clothes. Not just in the same section but intermingled on the racks which makes for confusing shopping. And what I could discern as being their plus size clothing had no rhyme or reason.

What they did have was not great.

Also there was no sign of their Young Contemporary junior plus size line which upset me because from the size charts, a lot of those basic pieces should fit me well. Actually I take that back this was there but there was no indication that it was from that line. Unlike when you stroll through the juniors section and even the women's and maternity items that are clearly labeled on the racks for the most part.

My other issue is that their "ethnic" (code everywhere for Black) section of hair care products has twindled to three shelves by two feet or so. I couldn't even find it to begin with and an older Black woman told me where they were.

Also of the many brands of cosmetics carried by Target who make colors appropriate for women of color (including Latinas and my Asian homies) I counted four shades darker than tan. Which would also preclude any White folks who tan dark during the summer.

Unfortunately this is a huge trend in Seattle in general. Typically if I am looking for something Black oriented whether it's the deep conditioner I like to use, face powder or foundation etc, the selection is dwindling to nothing and it pisses me the fuck off.

Typically in the past if I needed some say regular old face powder of the sort that almost every big cosmetics company makes, I would have to go to three stores max. And usually it could be the same chain just different locations. Yesterday I looked in five stores and found a big fat fucking nothing.

This is like a lot of my local clothing options. I can only afford so much so when something I can afford and have access to goes away, I'm shit out of luck.

This is also why I tend to not participate in a lot of the discussion about where fat folks are shopping because a lot of the retailers that get talked about I just cannot afford to shop in.

Yes, in theory it's a good idea to save up for one fantastic high quality item of clothing. But being that I work every day what else am I going to wear?

Unlike make up with clothes I can fudge things.

I do have the privilege of being able to buy the 6 dollar (like I'm wearing right now) tshirts from the Juniors section of Target without a lot of fit issues. Sure sometimes I have to stretch out the arms and on my fat body the shirts don't get that long look that gathers round the hip area but they are workable.

Now with make up I can't wear a foundation that is not the right color. Yes I could add shit to it to make it the right color but that is both time consuming and expensive.

Even if you don't care about make up, can you see what I'm talking about here?

While I would love to buy high end quality items whether it's shoes, clothing or make up the reality is that I do not have the resources to do it.

I can't drop 50$ on one piece of clothing.

I can't go to Sephora (much as I would LOVE to) everytime I need foundation or face powder.

I am going to sit myself down and write some letters to Target. I did not flip the people working in the store any shit because they don't have any power with this sort of thing and b.) they don't get paid enough to listen to me rant.

So if you run into these kinds of things be kind to the people working. The cashier in the red polo shirt and khaki pants really had nothing to do with it.

Moving along.

I'm still almost out of foundation but I found a seller on Ebay who does some lovely handmade mineral foundations I will be trying out.

I've also not been around because frankly I'm having one of those phases in life where a lot of the things I want to do and express are just beyond me. I'm getting through it and coming out the other side I think.

I've been doing a lot of writing, a lot of writing and that has been really good.

There hasn't been a tectonic shift but more of a few little tremors and I have my feet again.

Tomorrow sex advice finally for our fantastic former virgin, for a Cupcakey darling, and YES for a boy. Cupcake and boys questions are actually related which is quite serendipitous I think.

Now if y'all will excuse me I am in desperate need of coffee to counteract the not awesome that is the mega assload of antihistamines I'm on right now because I've only been at work for two hours and I feel kinda sleepy and woo in the head.

Oh and I will probably add a link to my associated content producer page because those short articles have thusfar funded some awesome (YEAH AFRICAN BLACK SOAP..I will talk about that at a later date) and clicks=pennies dudes.

And I love you guys. So hard. Really thank you for your concern and your notes and sweet comments. You make me feel wonderful and the universe is a better place with such awesome people in it.

Homo Out.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

No wait I'm still alive.

First and foremost, MCCN I will email you later but you are so awesome. For real so awesome.

Pics of what I'm talking about up there tomorrow probably.

Also I know I owe some sexytimes advice but my brain has not been going in that direction.

I had a whole other entry planned but over at Living ~400 lbs her entry sparked something else in my head.

So in case you're new or don't know I have some knee and back issues. I've had both for a good part of my life at this point and they are getting worse with age.

Despite those issues I have an overwhelming and sometimes emotionally gut wrenching need to do certain physical things. Namely belly dancing.

So lately my desperate want to dance has led me to a few aha moments.

Me being who I am, I have a hard time not forcing my body to do things. Doesn't matter what it is, if I feel like I should be able to do something I will do it often to my own detriment.

I am realizing that despite my attention to the ability (or lack of) in others I utterly refuse myself the same treatment.

I have done it since I was little and am just now (32 years old mind you) that I should probably not do that.

So to put it a tad more simply when it comes to me talking to myself I am an ableist dick.

I've started keeping better track of my knee and back pain and have noticed quite a trend.

I almost always trot at a good clip up stairs. I do it on my toes quick like a bunny.

If I have a choice between an inclined walk and a flat one, I almost always take the inclined one.

During this same choice, I noticed that if my knees or back hurt instead of slowing my pace I go faster.

I wouldn't do this to my partner Uniballer who has some mobility issues, I wouldn't do it to anyone else ever so why the fuck am I doing it to myself?

And doing it constantly?

The only thing I really know how to do is to get tough with myself.

If I want to dance I have to stop the other bullshit so I don't hurt myself. I've been working on it but fuck it's hard. It's so goddamn hard.

So yeah that is what is going on in the body of Shannon right now. Aside from the usual menstrual uterus area pain and ladyballs soreness.

In other non angsty news I'm designing some stickers with some of the sayings that I like and/or made up myself.


Also I'm writing a lot lately hence the sporadic posting. I'm working on a couple of SuperSeekrit writing projects that are taking up most of my brain space.

I think that's it. Swearsies sexytimes advice this week my homies.

Homo Out.

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