Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Everybody is doing it.

So much sexy sexy and so little time. I had planned on doing one big sexytimes advice thingy but, I want to pay closer attention.

First up we have an update from our darling virgin from this entry. (I am right aren't I?) Has been having some sex. I was assured that they were safe and had a good time.


Can we do a group happy dance?


My now doing it homie I will answer both of your questions on Thursday or Friday.

Now from Cupcake we have this excellent question:

I'm a virgin, but I consider myself to have a fairly high sex drive, and masturbate fairly regularly. Something I've noticed, however, is that after my first one or two orgasms, it becomes more difficult to orgasm, and if I want to have another, holding my breath until I almost pass out seems to help me orgasm.

I've heard of autoerotic asphyxiation, and know a little bit about that, but first I wanted to put the question out there: is it common for most people to achieve difficult orgasms by withholding their breath? A great majority of my friends are sexually active, but it's not a question I'm comfortable asking them, so I turn to you, <3

I love you too Cupcake.

And from a Nameless Peenhavinghomie I got a very similar question that he requested I don't post verbatim.

Okay babies check it out.

Breathe in my universe is a serious part of orgasm one way or the other.

Not to get into super super specifics but the short answer is yes, lots of people hold their breathe in order to get to that next or even their first orgasm.

I personally am naturally inclined to do that but I've learned over the years that I will most likely just give myself a headache doing that so I (aside from over the years spending lots of time having at myself) tried altering my breathing instead.

For some people, hyperventilating themselves is the way to go. After your first orgasm try easing up on the stimulation and taking long deep breaths from your diaphragm as if you're about to sing or yell.

Now when you are not with a partner I really strongly suggest not doing any kind of breath denial play with yourself. I don't think it's a good idea at all.

You can also experiment with breathing patterns. Short breaths for however long, then a few long ones etc.

Or you can actually try instead of increasing stimulation and pressure while you're masturbating ease up for awhile and let your body recover.

Indulge yourself during your refractory period. Maybe during that time frame focus on different kinds of stimulation. Play with your nipples, or whatever other skin feels appealing and go back to it.

I think the important thing is to figure out different ways to pleasure your particular body. Both of you, Cupcake and my Peenhavinghomie respectively.

The upshot here is that while I do think breath play is fun I do think that it's not a safe thing to do by yourself. I also think that if you're not having sex with a partner there is no better time to teach yourself different ways of achieving orgasms and thus you'll be super prepared for your partners.

SO my prescription is as follows for both of you and for everyone else.

Masturbate a lot.

Touch yourself in new and exciting ways.

Work it out.

Report back.

Okay my homies I've had a busy day. Thursday look forward to talk about blowjobs, new lovers and oh yes, more sexytimes advice.

So this means I'm back and feelin pretty awake and awesome.

Allergies and joints are still being fuckers but meh.

OH and before I go I'm a featured author at Outside Writers today and I am really proud of this piece go read it here.

Goodnight darlings.

Homo Out.


Anonymous said...

I meant to leave a note bubbling with praise about your wonderful advice. Instead, I'll gush about your writing. I hope to be a writer too, someday. But, for some time have not been able to find the inspiration to do it well. Your story was amazing and shot emotion right through me. Lovely, exciting, erotic, frightening, confusing. I loved it! O! To be able to write like you do! Thank you for sharing!

Much love and big smiles!
-Lexie Di

Cupcakeface said...

Thanks for the advice, darling. I never think about engaging in serious breath play on my own, but I find myself unconsciously (bad diction, I realize) doing it in spite of myself, to wring that orgasm out (did I mention I'm somewhat impatient? ;)), but I'll try the hyperventilation, and see if that helps.

jaed said...

Don't ask for too many details about how I know this, but if you're lying down, letting your head hang backwards off the edge of the bed can provide a similar sensation to the one you get from holding your breath. (The farther back you let your head fall, the more intense.)

I think this all has something to do with boosting intracranial pressure and the breath-holding is vaguely related to the valsalva maneuver.

Anonymous said...

Oh hey I thought I was the only one who holds their breath while masturbating! I've done it for as long as I can remember - helps me reach orgasm so much faster! I don't tend to do it when I'm with a partner, and I don't use anything to strangle myself when I play alone, just hold my breath. It does sometimes result in a headache if I do it too much though!

Yay for realising that I'm not a big freak!

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