First and foremost, MCCN I will email you later but you are so awesome. For real so awesome.
Pics of what I'm talking about up there tomorrow probably.
Also I know I owe some sexytimes advice but my brain has not been going in that direction.
I had a whole other entry planned but over at Living ~400 lbs her entry sparked something else in my head.
So in case you're new or don't know I have some knee and back issues. I've had both for a good part of my life at this point and they are getting worse with age.
Despite those issues I have an overwhelming and sometimes emotionally gut wrenching need to do certain physical things. Namely belly dancing.
So lately my desperate want to dance has led me to a few aha moments.
Me being who I am, I have a hard time not forcing my body to do things. Doesn't matter what it is, if I feel like I should be able to do something I will do it often to my own detriment.
I am realizing that despite my attention to the ability (or lack of) in others I utterly refuse myself the same treatment.
I have done it since I was little and am just now (32 years old mind you) that I should probably not do that.
So to put it a tad more simply when it comes to me talking to myself I am an ableist dick.
I've started keeping better track of my knee and back pain and have noticed quite a trend.
I almost always trot at a good clip up stairs. I do it on my toes quick like a bunny.
If I have a choice between an inclined walk and a flat one, I almost always take the inclined one.
During this same choice, I noticed that if my knees or back hurt instead of slowing my pace I go faster.
I wouldn't do this to my partner Uniballer who has some mobility issues, I wouldn't do it to anyone else ever so why the fuck am I doing it to myself?
And doing it constantly?
The only thing I really know how to do is to get tough with myself.
If I want to dance I have to stop the other bullshit so I don't hurt myself. I've been working on it but fuck it's hard. It's so goddamn hard.
So yeah that is what is going on in the body of Shannon right now. Aside from the usual menstrual uterus area pain and ladyballs soreness.
In other non angsty news I'm designing some stickers with some of the sayings that I like and/or made up myself.
Also I'm writing a lot lately hence the sporadic posting. I'm working on a couple of SuperSeekrit writing projects that are taking up most of my brain space.
I think that's it. Swearsies sexytimes advice this week my homies.