Our Former Virgin friend and her new lover need some help y'all.
Here is the upshot of her question:
Only problem and frustration for him and me is that he hasn't been able to bring me to orgasm and he wants to give oral etc to try and do that but I just am so frustrated bc I am not confident in his ability make me orgasm that way either.
Also later let's give her some how to give a blow job advice.
First up, it's going to take some practice. Being that you were both virgins and your new partners fireworks don't always happen when you want them to and that's ok.
Now the best way to show a new partner what you like is to do just that and show them. You can do this in all sorts of fun ways my personal favorites being masturbating together, and using yourself as your own stunt double.
Try this. Have your partner lay next to you in bed, get cuddled up and start talking. Tell your partner how much you enjoy his body (for now let's use male words since her partner is of the peen having sort), tell him the things you'd love for him to do to your body with his body.
If you need to prepare sit down at some point by yourself and try to think of some things that you like and can write down.
For instance do you prefer harder or softer clitoral stimulation?
Direct or indirect stimulation?
When it comes to him giving you oral sex you're going to have to have some fun experimenting. Every woman is different and what might send me to the Jupiter might leave you annoyed you know?
I will say to not watch mainstream porn for inspiration. Cause really?
Next thing is you have to relax. Don't expect fireworks and awesome on the first try because it often doesn't go that way. Let your partner get a feel for how your particular anatomy is and when he does something you like give him encouragement. But please don't just nod. When you're going down on someone it hurts your neck to be looking at her face a lot of the time.
Tell him, yes right there do that more etc you get my drift.
If he's close but not quite there don't be afraid to move around. Put a pillow under your butt, hold your labia open if you are so moved.
Remember my darling there are no rules.
And the same goes for you giving your partner a blow job.
In the most general terms, don't use your teeth at all unless your partner asks you to. Relax. And for basics remember, keep your mouth wet, pay attention to what his body is doing and let him guide you to what feels good.
You don't have to go for deep throating gold for both of you to enjoy yourselves.
One thing to remember is that if you're giving a bj without a condom at some point he's probably going to come and be prepared. Man come can taste funny or downright bad. If you don't want to swallow, ask your partner for warning before he gets off so you can aim so to speak.
Things to remember.
Relax your throat so you don't get a surprise gag reflex.
Don't neglect your partners balls. Some gentle (gentle) stimulation really rocks some boys worlds.
If your partner gets over excited and thrusts more than you can handle you can slow that down by putting your hand around the base of his cock but don't squeeze too hard.
In my experience when you're giving someone a blow job, the best thing to do is try what comes naturally. Some suction (not too hard), some tongue and explore.
From an anatomical perspective penises have differing places that are more sensitive than others. Some men, the very tip of their cocks are super sensitive. Others, the spot right on the underside of the head. Once you find his hot spots, try not to overwork them.
So now my readers, I turn it over to you my darlings.
When you're with a new partner how are you making orgasms happen together? Have a funny story? Something you think is a little embarassing?
Feel free to go anonymous and let it all out right here.
And I know I have some man type readers, what advice do you gentlemen have about blowjobs?
Okay look out for (Monday or Tuesday) more sexytimes questions.
And tomorrow, some stuff on the fat sex.