Wednesday, October 14, 2009

And we're back.

No, I'm not entirely out of the bad brain place fog but I'm getting there.

And let me say AGAIN how much I love you guys. You really have no idea how much it means to me that there are those of you who get it and everything. I have words but thank you.

I have to keep reminding myself that I AM worth the effort and yes sometimes the cost. It's amazing how hard of a thing that is.

Moving along. I believe I saw this first via TR and um, okay if fat people are really warmer why the FUCK am I half frozen 80% of the time?

To be honest I refused to read the whole thing.

However I will say that my fatness has been cheated out of this increasing warmth. If it is under say 60 degrees I get cold.

So I'm suffering being a cold fat person.

Someone owes my fatass some extra heat. Then my big plan will come to fruition I will topple the mitten industry with my fatness and extra heat thus forcing people to ask ME to crochet them mittens. Then I will make eleventybilliondollars and live fat and happy and fucking rich.

Visualize me rolling my eyes mightily.

Of all of the silly shit I've seen fat people blamed for from the decline in the environment to the failing economy this is on my top five of the absurd.

Fuck that noise.

Moving along.

I was involved in a conversation with an etsy store owner recently that quite honestly has me stumped.

So this fancy things maker (who has some lovely items and clearly has mad skillz) has a shop. I was cruising through her shop and saw an item I fell in LOVE with.

I read her policies, read about the item and somehow in the description where she claimed that it was an item that can be made to custom measurements, she neglected to mention that what that actually meant was custom measurements up to a 30" waist.

I learned that "custom measurements" meant a size XL with a 30" waist after I'd emailed her for further info.

While I will say I responded politely I was also quite firm in saying that I think it would be really helpful to clarify what she meant in the listing.

She responded with this very long email talking all about how she's had ever so many problems with crabby ass (not her exact words but her meaning) fatties who want to *CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS* buy and wear her fabulous clothes. She explained that it's not her fault that she can't figure out how to make a simple (yet fabulous) A Line dress to specifications other than what she has listed. It's not her fault that she doesn't really know any "bigger people" to help her out.

If you've been playing along at home (and let me say it again if you're new) I am not inclined to feel sorry for people when they whine about these things.

Frankly work it the fuck out or at least be upfront so I don't have to waste my time talking to you.

Really if she'd just said I don't know how to make plus size clothes or said, you know that's a good point I should add that to my listings or something of the sort I wouldn't be annoyed.

My hunt for the perfect boots continues.

Let me show you the ones I am replacing because I am pretty sure they are a decade old and they aren't really water resistant as much as I need them to be. And they are finally looking pretty ratty.


Those are very old Nana boots that I bought at freaking Hot Topic for under a 100$ that have lasted through being worn a lot. When I first bought them I probably wore them pretty much daily for a good six months.

Since then my calves have gotten bigger and more muscly- no wait before I get to that can I just say that despite the fact that I was a bit fatter when I bought these boots and some other ones I own I never had a problem with getting boots to fit round my calves until they got all muscly.

Muscles=boot hell apparently.

While I'm in a picture showing mood the whole outfit from that set, taken last April. And sadly that little sweater vest I got out of the depths of the clearance rack at target is no more. It was only 4$ so I can't complain but a moment of silence please.'s that whole outfit.


(Note the awesome coffee stain on the carpet by my foot. I did that within a week of moving in I shit you not. Also I'm wearing almost the same outfit in the next picture if you click through to go look, different burgundy sweater, different black skirt but almost the same LOL@myself.)

Wait what was I going to say?

OH right.

So here I am with my now hard and muscly calves that are no longer squishy enough to jam into boots that I like. Note that I say that I like.

I like Gothy Stompy boots. Clearly.

And it seems that most of the styles of boots I like the companies seem to think that folks (oh boys you too my darlings) who like gothy stompy boots have thin calves, all of them do. Some do yes but lots of us don't and it's fucking with my vision.

Now in order to replace this look in my wardrobe I think I'm going to have to either suck it up and buy some more Doc Martens then spend the winter in agony breaking them in or let go of the vision and go with another style. I haven't decided yet.

I'm thinking it's going to be the former. I have some money saved up that isn't dedicated to rent, food or utility bills. Not a whole lot but some. And I can save up a bit more for the docs which I'll probably buy from Zappos because OH right that's what else I was going to tell you guys.

Zappos CS has to be some of the friendliest and most helpful I've encountered in retail. I've called and used their online live customer service and asked if it looks like a boot has expansion room. They are really helpful so if you need help or have a jackassy question call or email or whatever. Excellent.

Speaking of shoes, I need some advice from you guys.

I kind of want to relearn how to walk in heels. After I stopped wearing stripper shoes regularly (both for fun and profit), I pretty much stopped wearing heels entirely. These days though I'd like a pair or two and here's my dilemma. Do I start with lower heels or chunky heels?

I do have back and knee problems so heels won't be a frequent thing but I would like to wear a pair when I feel like it without teetering and/or busting my ass.

I actually started this yesterday and I think I'm spent. I'm going to drink some tasty oolong tea that my partner Uniballer bought me the other day. It came highly recommended by a wee tiny little old lady who lives in our neighborhood and who just LOVES him, loves him like she will take his arm in the store like he's her grandson loves him and it's adorable.

So yeah time for me to wrap up my random for the day.

Thank you again you guys. For your support and your internets loves and hugs. And for giving me necklaces and everything. EVERYTHING.

I love you guys.

Homo Out.


Jay said...

Maaaaan, if you find boots to replace those, please share link love? I've got a pair of docs that I have worn the mess out of for over a decade and have the same issue with calves of doom making it impossible to wear them anymore. Also, I'd like some that I can sneakily wear under business casual.

The search continues, my sister in boots!

(I'm on your LJ, just so you know)

mccn said...

Can I get in on that extra heat, too? I am cold all the time, and particularly in my extremities - one time, my partner made me put on oven mitts before getting into bed because my freezing fingers were making THEM cold.

mccn said...

Oh, also, on the heels question? I'm divided. I would say go with chunky heels - but I hesitate, because the problem with chunky heels is that you feel better in your knees and ankles, and so are likely to wear them longer than low heels. Now, this sounds like what you want, right? But you have said you push yourself too hard a lot, and I'd hate for you to wear the chunks and then be in more pain than you would've otherwise.

You're a big girl, so you get to make the call. :) There's my 2c!

Raven Nightshade said...

Your boots look just like the Pole Climber boots they have at Hot Topic.

On the subject of heels, I think you need to start with either a wedge or a heel that's both low(under 2") and chunky.

DavitaCuttita said...

"Then my big plan will come to fruition I will topple the mitten industry with my fatness and extra heat thus forcing people to ask ME to crochet them mittens. Then I will make eleventybilliondollars and live fat and happy and fucking rich."

I *literally* laughed my ass off at that part.

I absolutely ADORE heels and stripper shoes! It's a tiny fixation I just can't seem to shake. I think, especially since you have a knee problem that it'd be best to start off low, see how comfy you are, then work your way up at your own pace.

I don't have knee problems very frequently but HUNNAY, when I put on my freak um heels they can still bust down a bitch after a night of stomping the pavement so caution, caution, cauuuutttion! ^_^

Piffle said...

Could you get the affordable boots and goth them up? I was thinking thrift a chain belt or necklace and get a stud punch from Jo-anns and decorate the boots until they make your glitter brain happy too.

Another idea would be to get some faux leather that matches your footwear and make calf wraps that you like, sort of a fake overboot thingy.

If you want to get into crafting, and are close to a Jo-ann's; sign up for their coupons, you'll get ones that are about forty to fifty percent off any item, plus notices about sales.

Also check your thrifting stores for yarns, lots of people donate the odds and ends of yarn.

Another idea is to check etsy and ebay for what people are charging for items similar to what you'd make. Make certain you won't lose money for sure.

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