Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Can I get an amen?

We all know that I'm not usually a manifesto sort of lady.

However this one from Shameless Mag gives me a bit of a happy, and I found it via Ms. Dangerous Lilly.

I want to quote this bit:

BECAUSE being a hot fat girl is a lot of work and is undervalued or unrecognized.

Now I would like to add that not only is being a hot fat girl a lot of work, undervalued and unrecognized but, in and of itself loving your fat body or hell loving your body at all is a subversive act.

I touched on this way back here but I want to go further and not get distracted.

I fully believe that human beings, in whatever form you are, are pressured and chained to hating yourself. You're supposed to hate your body, hate your socioeconomic status, hate your car, hate your lack of a car, hate something about yourself. We're supposed to feel these burning hatreds, feel like we are not right or good as we are and seek to change those things.

Even when those things are not necessarily things that need changing.

Everywhere we look, thinner thighs, bigger cocks, less hair, more hair, no grey hair, etc etc.

Why is it that being content with oneself is (in America at least) such a seemingly terrible thing to do? Self help gurus, fitness gurus, and other people who pretty much just want your money will be the first to tell you that you're not okay, you're not awesome you're just deluding yourself.

It's almost a religion, this push to become something other than yourself and I call fucking bullshit.

If you strip away these things and you take a minute, and you do in fact think of yourself as yanno kinda awesome, run with it.

I think it would do humanity at large a great service to be encouraged to find those wonders in themselves. In each other. Without the idea that one must change this or that, that one must not be happy with ones body.

I do not believe that shame is a healthy thing to put forth if you're not doing anything wrong.

And damn skippy it's easy to get shamed when you're not what the mainstream considers beautiful or doing whatever properly.

Think about how many people don't get just angry but enraged that fat people are not having the bullshit.

Think about some of the more persistant folks who get so angry when someone fat does, well anything.

All those people who bitch about fat people at the gym, or fat people at the store.

Or people get so irrationally angry when they spot someone they deem as Not really disabled using a disabled parking placard or something to assist them in getting around.

Why? How is this type of attitude at all conducive to having a good life? And I'm not talking about the people these sort of people get angry about, I'm talking about the people themselves.

While I may not like what someone says, I don't want them to suffer. To tell you the truth it just makes me sad.

All this said, half of this was sparked by a remark in a facebook conversation awhile back, someone I know kinda peripherally sent me a message telling me that they think fat activism is awesome but she doesn't think she could ever really contribute.

To that I say, just learning to love yourself and treat yourself with respect and dignity is contributing.

Walking around just the way you are with your head up high and feeling like, no knowing that you are an awesome creature is a damn fine step.

And to my eyes a damn fine manner of subversion and yes, activism.

I'm not saying you have to have perfect self esteem all the time because I don't think that's possible.

If you do want to take it a step further, blog about it. Blog about your ups and downs. I think blogging is a really powerful medium to share what you have to say. And don't tell me nobody is interested, I thought for years no one wanted to hear my random ass yammering in the form of a blog but hey look here you are.

With that my darlings I think I'm done for the day. I'm plotting some fatshion review type things. Tomorrow I review some tights I bought on Ebay and that are lovely colors but the fit is wacked.

I also have some more online thrifting advice and thrifty (as in Winter shopping for broke asses) advice and my own tribulations with it to share.

Now, homies and haters. You have homework. Tell me one thing about yourself that you think is the mother fucking bomb.

Anything you want.

Homo Out.

(OH PS...I keep forgetting to take outfit photos, I have some newer cute outfits that I really want to share don't let me forget.)


beatfreak said...

You are so fucking awesome. I love everything that you write. I've been thinking the same thing lately. Being gentle with myself is one of the best things I have done in the longest time.

witchyvixen said...

I have amazing eyes. They are the one thing I can count on liking even when I'm not feeling so spiffy about my body or my hair or my clothes or whatever the hell the little "you're not perfect" demon is sitting in my ear telling me I'm supposed to feel bad about.

Love you, love your Blog.

Birdyluv said...

I've been reading your blog for a while now and love what you have to say. As beatfreak says, you ARE awesome! I bet you're an amazing girlfriend - if you're ever in the NYC area, I'd love to hang out. All the best to you. xo

Margaret said...

I <3 your blog tons and tons!

One awesome thing about myself? I'm pretty smart, and I learn very quickly.

Lilly said...

This was so well written and you really took an angle that I felt strongly about and ran with it like it was a pretty kite in the wind.

Amen. This rocks. If we were nicer to ourselves, we'd be nicer to others and that is the simplest way to achieve this whirled peas thing the pageant ladies talk about.

Rebel said...

Discontentment is profitable. To everyone who is selling a product that requires a person to see a problem with their situation - everyone who is selling cars, cosmetics, diets, spanx. By loving your body you refuse to fall for the grand marketing scheme that tells you your life is not good enough so you should buy a new one.
Another way of opting out of disgusting systems.

P.S. I am a big fan of my hair, and my legs, boobs, belly, ass, face, elbows, what have you. I haven't felt ugly in a damn long while, now that I think of it. I have felt a bit of self-loathing on and off, which I think just comes with the territory of being Rebecca, but none of it seemed to be directed at my body.

Piffle said...

The thing I love best about Nudemuse is her attitude.

One thing I like about myself is that I have these wonderful tentacly things that make my cats purr when I rub them behind their ears or under their chin or on their bellies. It's so contentful.

Ashley said...

I consider myself a confident woman. Whenever I say anything positive about myself, people (usually other women) became catty and accuse me of being full of myself. It's like a sin to be confident and love yourself. If you are not floating around in a sea of self hatred where you are constantly tearing down your looks and abilities, well then you are just a freak of nature.

~ Eclectic Enchantress ~ said...

I think what people fear the most is the fact that what they see in others is just part of themselves; a deep seated fear they've hidden away. Inherently each of us is all of us. We all have the DNA/genetics to be fat, thin, brown eyed, tall, short, black, white, yellow, big teeth, buck teeth. It is our self acceptance that needs help, not necessarily our body size/shape/color/et al.

Often what angers us in other people are our own unresolved issues/fears that we project upon them. The poor little skinny girl hounded her whole life to be thin, that she's so beautiful because she's not fat. So her ultimate fear is fat. So fat scares the sh$t out of her and hence she attacks and is demeaning to fat people because of her own unresolved fears and issues. As some of us who are afraid to be thin. Then the "real" us would be present. Anyway...I am preaching I think

Then of course there's the advent of the industrial age and along comes consumerism and capitalism So let's not forget THAT bit o' help in the making of America...



Jack said...

I just want to say that I just accidentally stumbled onto the hot fat girl revolution and I think it's awesome.

It's so strange how the whole vision of what a sexy woman is changed 100 and some years ago, with the industrial revolution and everyone having something to sell. Prior to that, throughout history, it was the curvy gals that were the objects of desire.

Now, Hollywood with the Fashion and Advertising industries having brainwashed men into thinking this unrealistic image of what a beautiful woman is supposed to be like.

I am glad that more and more men are admitting that they find the curvy girls sexier. I have been with women of all body types and in my personal experience, curvy girls are hotter and wetter. they don't care if you mess up their hair. They're happy if you call them the next day and tend to make very loyal partners.

I salute all of you.

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