Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Angst, my ass and the evils of pants.

I'll warn you straight up if you are one of the folks who on some level feels like Inbetweenie STFU about anything..skip this post for real.

No really skip it go check out Bianca and Sylvia looking hawt, go check out Marianne being fucking awesome on the teevee.

The following isn't really a weight issue rather an issue with my physical size.

Despite a wee bit of weight gain a while back and said weight gain pretty much melting away my body is kind of a mystery to me right now.

I keep remembering when I was a size 8-10 and I look back at those pictures and it dawns on me that I wore baggy pants. Not because of body issues I was fairly okay self esteem wise at the time but, because I could not find pants that fucking fit.

Fast forward and fucking hell man.


If I could be fulfilled a single wish right this minute I would wish for an ass that could decide what size pants would best cover it and make it look awesome.

So we all know I've kind of broken up with Torrid sort of (I swear I need Torrid rehab) and I've been focusing some love on Old Navy because I can afford basics that fit and that I like.

But the pants.

Oh. My. LORD the fucking pants.

So according to the size chart and going with where my natural waist is I should wear a size 14 pant.

BUT because of the weird low/mid (a side note, my new* ON pants are listed as mid rise and come up just beneath my navel wtf how low are the low cut?) rises, my measurements down by my hips indicate a 16.

All neon signs lead to a 16.

So I purchased a pair of very nice NWT The Sweetheart cut black (black blackity black black black) jeans on ebay from a very nice lady in a size 16.

They are cut really nice, they are cut the way I was imagining the Dickie's pants to be cut actually.

I tried them on and for five glorious minutes (while I was preening and posing in front of Uniballer) they fit pretty well. Granted the booty area was a little not as full as I'd like (more about that in a minute) but they seemed to fit pretty well. I took em off and put them away.

I wore them for the first time yesterday and (no pics I forgot) here are my impressions.

  • Excellent cut for my body shape. Big hips, big hams, smaller in the belly area.

  • Waistband- hit at the area I like. Not right on my bladder but slightly above it but not all the way up under my tits where my natural waist is.

  • Oh ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....start moving around and pants kind of sag between the crotch up to the waist band in a weird way.

  • The above got worse through the day until I was able to pull them down without unbuttoning them without a lick of trouble and also gaping to the point of holy SHIT see ALL of my tramp stamp and some bonus half my ass crack.

Pants boner is lost entirely.

They still look relatively cute as Uniballer informed me but man, I was so disappointed.

However- I think I may be able to shrink them a bit to fit which would be awesome.

And now let me confess something.

Everytime I see an outfit post where the poster says I am a solid size XYZ I get this mighty twinge of jealousy.

I seriously hate with a burning passion the guesswork. Despite the fact that I know my measurements quite well my waist and hip measurements do not line up with manufacturer specs. It's nobody's fault it just is.

That doesn't mean that it doesn't bug me.

It does.

A lot.

I wouldn't care if my solid size was bigger or smaller.

I am working on letting go of some of that because frankly it can really fuck me up.

Instead I'm going to try and get a bit more creative about keeping my ass warm in cooler weather.

Via the Fatshionista community on LJ I found Fashion For Nerds. If you wanna see some layering done in an awesome fashion check them out.

I am also inspired and bolstered in my want to try out some layering by Lesley from Fatshionista. Her outfits are always awesome.

I have never been super into trying to layer in a stylish manner but I can envision some stuff and I'm going to give it a shot after some judicious thrifting.

I would like to rebuild my wardrobe featuring less pants that are ill fitting and more things I think are fucking awesome.

So wow I started this like three hours ago but work got busy so I'll leave it here.

Feel free to commiserate, or link fling some awesome fatshions, or pimp your own links babies. It's all good.

Homo Out.


pata said...

Can you take them in? A dart in the back would probably fix it. Sewing is really easy and it sounds like it'd solve a lot of your problems. It sounds like I'm exactly the same size you are, and I've been doing that for ten years. Never had a problem since.

lilacsigil said...

Anyone saying they're a "solid size whatever" is kidding themselves, or they largely shop at one place. I have clothes that fit in sizes ranging from 20 to 30!

Haddayr said...


Why did I watch that video? I hate that Mimi. HATE. What a horrible person, with her smug working out and her evil evil smarmy disingenuous questions.

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