Thursday, February 25, 2010

I'm not into your shame.

Due to the fact that Meme Roth makes me terribly sad and I'm already sort of in a sad mood I"m not going to watch all of the face/off special thing.

I watched some of it and I will say that my girl love of Marianne increases. And for the record I think a shopping trip with her on my arm would be really fucking fun.

Okay so this whole is it okay to be fat thing, I keep thinking about the constant cries of fatties making everything ever so expensive for other folks.

Now usually the argument revolves around medical costs.

One of the things I do agree with the medical community about is preventative medical care. If you have a disproportionate chance to have an issue I think it's awesome to take steps to care for yourself to decrease your chances of said ailment.

So, if your strategy is a Meme Roth-ian type of hate and vitriol and shame how is that going to get someone to take care of themselves?

I'm not asking in a sarcastic manner.

I know there are still folks who are anti fat reading this and feel free to comment anonymously without name calling and tell me how is it a move towards anything to shame people or try to motivate them with hatefulness?

Does that EVER work without dire consequences?

If it is really all about the children think about this.

If you raise a child with the value that if they are differently shaped or look different etc that they are somehow less human that they are garbage how do those children grow up?

Beyond weight and health, time has proven that is not conducive to being a healthy adult mentally or physically.

On the other hand if you raise a child and nurture their self esteem and self worth isn't that a huge impetus for them to take good care of themselves mentally and physically for a lifetime?

When it comes to adults the same is true.

If you treat another human being like shit for long enough they will think they are shit. And if they see no value in themselves why would they want to change? Why would that person want to take care of themselves?

So this hate mongering vitriolic attitude really is not the right answer.

The other thing that bugs me about this whole OMG YER FAT YOU COST ME TEH MONIES is, why is it the people who say that never say it about anything else?

Now I'm talking about long run costs here.

Why don't the people that argue this say the same thing about say someone who has been a runner on concrete for a very long time and caused a lot of cartilage damage in their knees and back? Does that person get the same level of anger?

If being fat is something that everyone can choose not to be, than certainly someone who has done voluntary damage to their body must be in the same category mustn't they?

When the runner needs knee surgery or long term medical intervention, do you hate them because they did it to themselves? The runner had the option and could have done something else.

Or what about a woman who comes from a family with a heavy history of breast cancer who decides against a preventative radical mastectomy? Does she deserve the same level of hatred if she develops cancer because she theoretically could have done something about it?

Is the man with a family history of stress related illness who goes ahead and works a stressful job anyway, hated too?

I have yet to find this hateful attitude carried into any place but weight.

Which leads me to the conclusion that most fat hate is disingenuous.

If your primary arguments about weight are based on appearance, your personal comfort levels, theoretical illness, costs that seem to only extend to fat people, if your "concern" comes in the form of shaming or name calling, if your "concern" comes in the form of "what about MEEEEEEEEEEE", if your entire angle is made up of all things gross and hateful and your solution to the "obesity crisis" is shame-

I don't believe you.

Nor do I respect you.

If you don't have the gumption to own up to the fact that you're arguing to argue, that your biases are based in your own brain (disordered or otherwise), that you don't want to fuck a fat person so you hate them, etc.

Your opinion means nothing to me.

Furthermore I don't give a good goddamn whether or not you think it is okay for me (who let me remind you I am Not you, You are not me. We are NOT walking the same road, we are not the same person, we are not the fucking Borg) to be fat.

If I felt like someone who has questions about the whole obesity crisis or who wants to "do something" about it was coming from a place of serious and genuine caring I might be interested in what they have to say.

I might want to show that person some things about HAES. I might want to show that person what can happen when disordered becomes the order of the day and show them some of the stories from eating disorder survivors, sufferers and those who died.

Someone in the grand old Fat Universe (a comment somewhere I think) said that she (if it was you and you're not a she please correct me) said that until she learned about HAES exercise was not a positive thing. Now it's okay.

I'd want to talk to the Actually Concerned person about the merits of having good self esteem and the value of learning to care for yourself on your own terms without the interference of other peoples fucking issues.

I know this is all a bit wandering but I have a major migraine and this is about as coherent as I can be.

The bottom line is this.

Outside of the fact that yes I am a fat person, I will not take most of the anti-fat people seriously at all. If your concern has a dollar sign (diet industry, medical industry, medical insurance etc oh HAI), a hate sign (Meme Roth), or if all you're interested in is your own personal ideals of what is pretty yeah, talk until you're blue in the face.

If you are seriously concerned about the children and the obesity crisis we can talk. If you want to hear some words of wisdom from the casualties of the War on Fat we can talk. If you are open to treating other human beings with at the very least basic respect and at the utmost kindness and love, let's talk.

That's it.

Homo out.
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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awesome, sums it up perfectly.

Meowser said...

YEAH. You tell 'em.

(And you were plenty coherent, migraine or not.)

Word verification: flies

beatfreak said...

Have you set up personal residence in my head? I was thinking the same thing this afternoon, but you just said it a lot better. I'll just send people this link when I think they are full of it.

GChen said...

I'm a mom, a blogger, and a Ph.D. student, and I need your help. I'm doing a study about why women blog, and you have been selected at random to participate in a short survey about what motivates you to blog and what you get out of blogging.

Here is the link: http://www.surveygizmo.com/s/231228/women-bloggers

Thanks in advance for your help. Feel free to contact me at gmmasull@syr.edu if you have any questions.

Gina Chen
Ph.D. student
S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications
Syracuse University

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